MoonSpace

Save $50 a Day: How Three Super Savers Do It

2009-04-02T08:33:00.000-05:00

Take a look at how real people put cost-cutting ideas into action and watch their savings add up. Collectively, Michele Harrison, Mike and Vjera Silbert and Stephanie Dunshee offer a combined total annual savings of $17,860.

More from Kiplinger.com:

• Easy Ways to Save More Money

• 10 Things We Overpay For

• What You Need to Know About Bargaining

Meet the Harrisons

They've put saving first and mended spendthrift ways. Their ideas add up to: Annual Savings of $5,200.

When her daughter McKenzie was born three years ago, Michele Harrison decided to reform her spendthrift ways and pay down about $6,000 in credit-card and auto-loan debt. "Saving was a new concept," says Harrison, 42, a single parent. "It was always: Spend everything once you have it. Every payday was a windfall."

Harrison, who lives in Maricopa, Ariz., where she is a data-center coordinator for Wells Fargo Bank, started saving by studying her budget. She found that dining out every day was gobbling up her income. Brown-bagging her lunch and eating dinner in saves her about $1,820 a year. And capping her grocery budget saves another $125 a month, on average.

Harrison's Costco membership got her a cheaper auto-insurance policy (with free roadside assistance). That cut her annual car expenses by about $300. Plus, she makes fewer driving trips, saving hundreds of dollars on gas. Harrison also dropped her $28-a-month land line and her $65-a-month cell phone, and she now uses her work cell phone exclusively. And she scaled back satellite-TV service.

More from Yahoo! Finance:

• In the Fight Against Bill Creep, Every Extra Fee Is the Enemy

• 'Buy American' - Sparks Fly

• Rental-Car Firms Seek a Bailout

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Visit the Banking & Budgeting Center

Now Harrison has a tough time parting with her hard-earned dollars. "I want to be debt-free," she says. "That's a legacy I want to pass on to my daughter." -- Stacy Rapacon

Meet the Silberts

They set out to save on everything from diapers to taxes. Their ideas add up to: Annual Savings of $10,000.

Lawyers Mike and Vjera Silbert of Philadelphia welcomed their third daughter in August. And although bringing a baby into the world can put stress on anyone's finances, the super-saving Silberts have managed just fine.

Since introducing Lola to big sisters Anya, 7, and Maya, 4, the Silberts have trimmed their budget, starting with food. The family eats out less often and cut $30 from its weekly grocery bill by using coupons and buying store-brand products, says Vjera, 36.

The Silberts save on formula, diapers and wipes by buying in bulk on Diapers.com. And they will save an impressive $2,300 in taxes this year by using a flexible spending account through Vjera's employer, Wolf Block LLP, to pay for child-care expenses.

But their biggest savings yet, says Mike, 39, was refinancing their 30-year fixed-rate mortgage. Slashing the interest rate from 6.125% to 4.75% put about $500 per month into the family budget. The Silberts also invested in a programmable thermostat to lower the heat while the family's out or asleep, cutting their heating bill by about $150 a year. -- Stacy Rapacon

Meet Ms. Dunshee

She created a budget that cut expenses by 10 to 20 percent. Her ideas add up to: Annual Savings of $2,660.

Stephanie Dunshee was always careful with money. But the 46-year-old pharmaceutical executive really began to focus on saving when layoffs became more common in her field. "I started cutting back about two years ago to see if I could live well on less," she says. "I could."

Dunshee drew up a budget of everything she buys, then tried to cut each expense by 10% to 20%. That exercise, she says, "really causes you to get creative."

Dunshee saved $460 per year by dropping her land line and using only her cell phone. She and her extended family saved $700 by consolidating their cell-phone bills with a family plan.

Coupons from grocery circulars and Web sites, such as Smart Source and Red Plum, cut Dunshee"s expenses by about $100 each month. She takes advantage of double- and triple-coupon offers, and tracks down coupon codes for online retailers. Using a credit card with rewards points saved her $200 on Christmas gifts. A programmable thermostat saved another $100.

The strategies have paid off in more than just savings. Dunshee took a severance package from her employer in October and is considering a career change. "My overall goal is to work at a job I really enjoy, even though it pays far less," she says. "Given my frugality and that I've saved and invested well, the recession isn't causing me the same kind of anxiety others are feeling." -- Kimberly Lankford

Jobs that will never go away...

2009-03-31T12:39:00.000-05:00

Choosing a career path can be challenging. Half of all college students change their majors at least once as they travel the sometimes bumpy road that will lead right degree. If you want to follow your dreams as well as provide for a certain future, take heart. As long as human beings continue to inhabit the planet, there are many worthwhile and fulfilling jobs that will never go away.
Accountant
As long as there are taxes, there will be a need for skilled accountants to work with clients, helping them keep their books in order. While accounting technology becomes more sophisticated, many accountants also assist clients with the technological aspects of record keeping and tax preparation. An online degree can prepare you for this field by providing accounting coursework and career training. Many assistant accountants begin with training and an associate's degree. Armed with a bachelor's degree in accounting, you could make an average annual salary of $63,180, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

Computer Support Specialist
If you thrive on helping your friends and family solve their computer woes, consider becoming a computer support specialist. With computers playing such an important part of daily life, computer support specialists provide their clients much needed technical assistance. As a computer support specialist, you will meet with clients in person or answer questions remotely, via Internet, or on the phone. Many computer support specialists either have a bachelor's degree in computer science or an associate's degree in a computer-related program. In 2007, computer support specialists made an average annual salary of $45,300, according to the BLS.

Entrepreneur
To be an entrepreneur you need to be an independent, outgoing risk taker as you establish your own business or company. Although it may be hard to know whether a business will succeed, there will always be a need for a variety of goods and services and businesses to supply them. An online degree in business can help make your dreams a reality, as you earn your associate's or bachelor's degree. Although salaries can vary greatly with the self-employed, small business owners made an average annual wage of $36,000 to $75,095 in 2008, according to Pay Scale.

Mechanic
As anyone who commutes or runs to the store knows, we live in a nation of automobiles. If you know the make and model of every automobile that zips by and have an interest in what's under the hood, consider becoming an automotive service technician or mechanic. Automotive service technicians and mechanics diagnose problems with cars and light trucks and fix them. Mechanics need to be analytical, good problem solvers, and willing to work with computerized diagnostic tools and programs as well as traditional tools. You can also specialize in an area such as brakes or cooling systems. Online career training can get you started. Programs range from six months to two years. Mechanics made an average annual salary of $36,480 in 2007, according to the BLS.

Paramedic
Paramedics make life and death decisions, assessing injuries and providing emergency medical care. To be a paramedic you have to be agile, strong, and be willing to work under pressure. Although the hours can be long, many paramedics find great satisfaction in helping others. An EMT paramedic has usually taken courses in anatomy and physiology and completed a one-to-two-year program -- or the equivalent of an associate's degree. Basic and intermediate certification can get you started in this fast paced, much needed career. According to the BLS, paramedics earned an average of $30,870 annually in 2007.

Teacher
As long as human beings continue to have children, there will be a need for teachers. If you enjoy working with young children and want to teach, you can make $50,040 on average annually if you are an elementary school teacher, and $52,450 annually if you are a secondary teacher, according to the BLS. Elementary teachers have the pleasure of teaching all subjects. Secondary teachers also get to follow their bliss. By focusing on specific certification areas, secondary teachers specialize in the subjects they want to teach. Many online programs can get you started towards a bachelor's degree in education and certification.

Whatever your calling may be, with the right degree and career training, your career prospects for these much-needed jobs can help keep you from becoming outsourced or even worse, obsolete.

Valerie Bertinelli 50 Lbs Lighter and looking FAB!

2009-03-26T12:43:00.000-05:00

How to fake clean your house

2009-03-24T20:31:00.002-05:00

How to fake a clean house partner

by Real Simple Magazine

When you’re short on time, here’s how to give your living spaces the illusion of cleanliness.

The Living Room

Reserve one side of sofa cushions to be shown to guests. Before company arrives, flip over the cushions to reveal good-as-new fabric. When guests are gone, flip them back.
Rid the sofa of pet hair by wetting the fingertips of rubber gloves and gliding your hand over the sofa. The hair will stick to the rubber.
Stack books, catalogs, and magazines in neat piles on the floor or arrange them in a deep decorative basket.
To disguise windows in need of washing, pull curtain panels closed.
Fold a clean blanket neatly and drape it over a stained sofa. Strategically placed throw pillows can also camouflage soiled upholstery.
From Real Simple: Easy Steps for Cleaning the Bedroom

The Kitchen

When the dishwasher is full and the sink is overflowing, stow dirty dishes and silverware in a stockpot and pull them out later to be cleaned.
Cover up the lingering aroma of last night’s supper by boiling nutmeg, cloves, or cinnamon and orange peels in a sauce-pan on the stove.
Declutter the refrigerator by taking down notes, drawings, and magnets and throwing them in a plastic bag. Sort through it later.
Fold hand towels to hide stains. Two tips: Hang the clean side over the oven handle (with the stains in the back), or roll towels in neat spirals and stack them pyramid-style next to the sink.
The Bathroom

Glide a sticky lint roller over the bath mat to pick up hair.
Light a candle. Everything looks better (and cleaner) by candlelight.
Hang a fluffy bathrobe on top of damp towels dangling from the hooks on the back of the door.
Store a rattan or canvas basket on top of the toilet and throw in stray cosmetic brushes.
Hang fresh guest towels. The humidity in this room makes textiles look droopy, even after a recent machine washing.
Mound cosmetics and hairstyling products in a container underneath the sink. In a pinch, pile them in the tub and close the shower curtain. Cross your fingers that guests don’t snoop.

100 Movies To See Before You Die

2009-03-24T11:51:00.001-05:00

After having long conversations with Laura...We found out she hasn't seen some of the Classic movies. We have put together a list of Movies she needs to see. We selected films that we believe are the most thrilling, most dramatic, scariest, and funniest movies of all time. Some of these films you've seen, and some you may not have heard of, but we believe that each one is a timeless classic that you absolutely have to see.

The List

12 Angry Men (1957)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
The 400 Blows (1959)
8 ½ (1963)
The African Queen (1952)
Alien (1979)
All About Eve (1950)
Annie Hall (1977)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
The Battle of Algiers (1967)
The Bicycle Thief (1948)
Blade Runner (1982)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Blow Up (1966)
Blue Velvet (1986)
Bonnie and Clyde (1966)
Breathless (1966)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Casablanca (1942)
Chinatown (1974)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Die Hard (1988)
Do the Right Thing (1989)
Double Indemnity (1944)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Duck Soup (1933)
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Enter the Dragon (1973)
The Exorcist (1973)
Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
The French Connection (1971)
The Godfather (1972)\
The Godfather, Part II (1974)
Goldfinger (1964)
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1968
Goodfellas (1990)
The Graduate (1967)
Grand Illusion (1938)
Groundhog Day (1993)
A Hard Day's Night (1964)
In the Mood For Love (2001)
It Happened One Night (1934)
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Jaws (1975)
King Kong (1934)
The Lady Eve (1941)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
The Lord of the Rings (2001,2002,2003)
M (1931)
M*A*S*H (1970)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
The Matrix (1999)
Modern Times (1936)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Network (1976)
Nosferatu (1922)
On the Waterfront (1954)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Paths of Glory (1978)
Princess Mononoke (1999)
Psycho (1960)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Raging Bull (1980)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Raise the Red Lantern (1992)
Rashomon (1951)
Rear Window (1954)
Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Rocky (1976)
Roman Holiday (1953)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Schindler's List (1993)
The Searchers (1956)
Seven Samurai (1954)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Silence of the Lambs (1994)
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
The Sound of Music (1965)
Star Wars (1977)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Third Man (1949)
This is Spinal Tap (1984)
Titanic (1997)
To Kill a Mockingbird (1949
Toy Story (1995)
The Usual Suspects (1995)|
Vertigo (1958)
When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
Wild Strawberries (1957)
Wings of Desire (1988)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)

Ufo's over london...Taken from a cell phone

2009-03-19T11:07:00.001-05:00

Shoes that help you lose weight shapeupshoes.com

2009-03-18T07:57:00.000-05:00

How to Use
Here's how to get the most out of Shape Up Shoes:

Walk on the soft, flat platform under the front two-thirds of the shoe (focus on the flat part under the ball of your foot). Your heel will naturally come close to the floor, but do not put your weight into your heel. Stride normally into your next step.

When Standing:

Focus on the flat part of your Shape Up Shoes under the ball of your foot. Try not to put your weight in your toes or your heels. You want to keep your foot parallel to the ground just as if you were standing barefooted. It is ok however to rest on your heels for a good stretch or rock to your toes to engage your quads. 90% of the time you should concentrate on the true challenge, which is staying focused on the flat part of your Shape Up Shoes, under the ball of your foot, while keeping your toes pointing forward.

How They Work

When worn for at least 30 minutes a day, Shape Up Shoes are an effective fitness and weight-loss tool that allow you to tone and shape your body and shed unwanted pounds. Wearing the shoes while active encourages improved posture, a toned inner core and fantastically fit legs, abs and glutes.

The calorie-burning rate when wearing the sandal style is three times that of wearing ordinary shoes and two times that of wearing the boots and clogs.

Staying balanced while wearing the shoes requires the use of muscles not used otherwise in the legs, abs and glutes. These muscles are thus strengthened and toned significantly. The motion when walking is similar to that of balancing on a BOSU board in combination with using a Stairmaster.

The deep vein pumping action that occurs with every step taken can significantly reduce the onset of varicose and spider veins. Wearing the shoes can also diminish existing cellulite and prevent it from developing, and help ease lower back pain due to spinal compression, swelling in the arms and legs, and the discomfort of plantar fasciitis.

Shape Up Shoes work when you wear them for at least 30 minutes a day; it's as simple as that!

Taylor Swift to your school for FREE!

2009-03-16T08:35:00.001-05:00

Taylor Swift is giving away a concert to one lucky high school whose students
text her initials -- T-S -- to 3-4-0-1 from their Verizon wireless phones.
You can also enter at TaylorSwiftConcerts-dot-com. The school with the most
entries by March 23rd will win the free show.

Adoption going Facebook, YouTube way

2009-03-11T17:23:00.000-05:00

(CNN) -- Their paths crossed on YouTube on an August night last year.

Jeremy and Christy Nueman used YouTube to find their adopted baby, Caleb.

1 of 2 Amanda, a college student seven months pregnant, scrolled past a YouTube video of a young California couple seeking adoption.

The couple, Jeremy and Christy Nueman, wanted to adopt a baby after struggling with infertility for five years. But instead of relying solely on newspaper ads or bulletin board fliers to increase their chances of connecting with a birth mother, they created a short YouTube video to show who they are.

Upon watching the video online, Amanda immediately connected with a snapshot of the Nuemans' adorable miniature pinscher named Penny. She giggled when she saw video of Jeremy Nueman dancing happily in his kitchen, which reminded her of her own father.

She played the video over and over again.

"The video was comforting, and I could relate to them" said Amanda, who picked the Nuemans to become the adoptive parents of her baby boy out of hundreds of profiles she viewed online and through adoption agencies. Amanda chose to keep her last name anonymous for privacy reasons. "It's so hard when you are just reading a letter to figure out what are these people like."

With a high demand for domestic infants, adoption experts say the wait for a baby can be months or years. To gain a competitive edge, a growing number of adoption-minded couples are using Web sites like YouTube and Facebook to sell themselves as parents. Going online is cheaper, faster and reaches a wider audience than using just on print advertisements and word of mouth, they say.

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Some wannabe parents are uploading YouTube videos featuring a hodgepodge of photos, home tours and interviews. Others are writing on blogs and personal Web sites to give birth mothers a glimpse of their adoption journey. To help spread the word, prospective parents also are utilizing social networking sites like Twitter, MySpace and Facebook in the hope that their friends may know of a potential birth mom.

"Today's teens and young adults looking for adoptive parents are more tech savvy than before," says Jeff Siler, who owns ParentGallery.com, a free site created in 2007 where couples wanting to adopt can post pictures and video online. "Even before teens talk to an adoption agency, they may already be trying to Google for an answer online."

Social media like YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are also gaining traction among private adoption agencies. Bethany Christian Services, one of the nation's largest adoption agencies, which completed more than 730 domestic infant adoptions last year, advises its couples -- including the Nuemans -- to create a YouTube video.

"Having a video makes you feel like you are with them in person," says Dawn Baker, a social worker at Bethany Christian Services in Madison Heights, Michigan, who says the teen mothers she counsels really connect with the videos. Baker added that she matched a 16-year-old pregnant girl with a family in North Carolina after the teen saw their video last month. The adoption is not yet finalized.

In the past, adoption advertising, which is allowed in at least 34 states, traditionally relied on newspaper and radio advertising as well as brochures, fliers and business cards, adoption experts said. In the digital era, these media no longer have the reach they once did. Newspaper ads can be costly, running hundreds of dollars a month.

Maria Kwarta and her husband, Nathan Kwarta, both 26, of University City, Missouri, saw the Internet as a natural way to reach potential birth moms.

"We were trying to do what was familiar to us. We already had Facebook and MySpace accounts, so why not just use that," said Maria Kwarta, who has been discussing adoption with her husband for more than five years.

The two are also sending Tweets every few days, seeking potential moms on Craigslist, documenting their efforts in Live Journal, updating their Xanga profiles and posting on CafeMom.

"Get to know us a little better," says the Kwartas' three-minute YouTube video with upbeat music in the background. Their video shows a photo montage of the couple with brimming smiles at baseball games and ski trips. The video ends with contact information so the birth mother can reach them directly. Watch the Kwartas' YouTube video

The Nuemans and Kwartas aren't alone in their relentless efforts to find a baby. While there is no federal data tracking the number of private domestic adoptions each year, adoption experts estimate that about 15,000 private domestic infant adoptions are completed in a year. Yet experts said the number of couples trying to adopt is even larger than the adoptions that are finalized.

White American infants continue to be in the highest demand, adoption experts say, but the number of domestic infants available for private adoption has dropped as women have more access to contraception and the social stigma against single parenting has lessened.

For example, from 1989 to 1995, the percentage of children born to never-married white women who were placed up for adoption dwindled to 1.7 percent, a steep decline from 19.3 percent of children going up for adoption before 1973, according to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in Massachusetts, a nonprofit that tracks national adoption trends.

"The more people who know you are looking, the better your prospects," explained Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, who has seen more prospective parents start using the Web to spread the word in the last few years. "It's a crapshoot, and you are trying to improve your odds."

Seth Edlavitch, 38, and his wife had waited for a baby for nearly three years. They had made a paper flier to find a birth mother, and on a whim, they uploaded it to Facebook last December. His wife, Melissa Segal, 39, was unable to conceive and had a devastating miscarriage years before.

It took only two weeks before a friend of a friend, who knew someone who wanted to give up her child for adoption, found the flier online.

"It's just one of those right place and the right time situations," said Edlavitch, who brought their newborn son, Noah Edlavitch, to their Maryland home on New Year's Day. "I never would have anticipated that it would work the way that it did."

There are some downsides to advertising online. Driving traffic to the site can be tough. The blogs, videos and profiles need to stand out to be effective, says Lori Dowd, who owns an adoption consulting Web site, ProfilesThatGetPicked.com.

Karen Greenberg, president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, a national association of adoption lawyers, warns that advertising on Craigslist and Facebook can be a "hotbed for scams." The academy is trying to create a national "adoption information clearing house" where attorneys, agencies and eventually couples looking to adopt can use the site to check the birth mother's status. The site is planned to be launched this year.

"There aren't any regulations to oversee what's actually going on when you go at it alone," she said.

Back in their home in San Diego, California, the Nuemans have celebrated their first Thanksgiving and Christmas with their new son, Caleb, a playful, chubby, brown-haired, blue-eyed baby. The adoption was finalized in October 2008.

"I remember walking through the door with Caleb the first time we bought him back," said Christy Nueman, 29. "Just the thought that our family was going to be full-grown -- it was a sweet moment knowing this would be our new family."

Food that's good for you..and the kids will eat it too!

2009-03-03T11:22:00.000-06:00

Helful Household Hints

2009-03-02T20:49:00.001-06:00

Instead of buying a special product to water your houseplants
while you are away on vacation, place a towel on the tub floor,
fill with an inch of water for a three-day trip or two inches for
up to a week and set the plants down. They will absorb the water
while you are on vacation.

Instead of adding oil to a pot of boiling pasta water (causing
your sauce to slide off the noodles later) try stirring ever few
minutes so the noodles won't stick.

Instead of running out of the house with unmanacured hands (when
there's no time to polish) try smoothing hair shine serum into
nail beds (your nails will look professionally buffed)

Moth-proof your closets! Looking for a way to keep nasty moths
out of your woolens? Cut off the leg of a clean pair of pantyhose
and fill the foot with crushed peppercorns, Tie a knot around the
ankle, then spicy scent repels insects and is a great nontoxic
alternative to mothballs.

If you can't figure out where an air leak is coming from inside
the house, close all the windows and doors and walk around with
a lit candle. When the candle flickers, you'll know that cold air
is seeping in.

If you kitty loves to jump onto counters, there's a way to break
him of this annoying habit: Put a few aluminum baking pans on top.
The next time he jumps up, the noise should stop him from doing it
again!

Keep a spray bottle filled with a mild solution of dishwashing
detergent and water near the dishwasher. Before loading dishes,
utensils or pots and pans, spray heavily soiled items so the food
doesn't set before you get a chance to fill up the machine. The
dishes will come out perfectly the first time so you never have
to rewash.

Cut out the pocket of an old pair of jeans and glue a magnet to
the back. Put it on the refrigerator to keep coupons, tickets or
notes handy. When you're ready to go to the store, just life the
pocket off the fridge and put it in your purse.

FACEBOOK Etiquette

2009-03-02T20:21:00.001-06:00

Here are the top 10 rules of etiquette for using Facebook responsibly
in (and around) relationships (from www.yourtango.com ):

10. Relationship status is a mutual decision. Do not dump your
partner via status change, for example ...

9. It's OK to look at a friend's friends for interesting people,
but use the middle man (your friend). Don't "friend request" outta
the blue. Also, be mindful of friend-poaching -- it's not cool.

8. Ask first before friending a close friend's ex. It's common
courtesy and part of any friend code.

7. It's OK to remain facebook friends with someone you used to
date. Just prepare yourself to see some status updates that you
might not want to see.

6. Skip posting tons of pics, vids, and comments regarding a
recent, failed relationship. Talk to friends; don't retaliate in
a public forum.

5. Avoid TMI -- Keep photos safe for work and don't air your
dirty laundry online (it won't dry). If you wouldn't announce it
in a restaurant, it's best to keep it relatively private.

4. Avoid inappropriate-friending -- specifically, don't friend
people you don't actually know, like an ex's new squeeze...

3. Know the difference between the Wall and a message. Yes,
facebook is complicated by pokes, superpokes, walls, notes, vids,
likes, etc etc (!) ... But knowing what is public and what is private
is essential.

2. Don't drink and book. It can get you in trouble just like any
impaired situation ... for example, there is no need to tell someone
you were in love with them in high school, especially on their
wall. (See tip #3)

1. Above all other rules (and this actually is in the Facebook
rules) do not create a fake page. You may think creating a fake
page for your ex is hilarious -- writing "money grubbing" or
"poop" under "likes" but it's a good way to get sued for about
$40,000. (Wouldn't we call that backfired?

Birth Order

2009-03-02T20:19:00.000-06:00

Did you know a guy's birth order could have a big affect on his
personality and your relationship?

A firstborn: He's dependable, conscientious, and a caring guy,
one you can rely on for logical advice and support.

A middle child: He has the ability to get along with everyone.
He's also really attuned to your feelings and super thoughtful.
But as laid-back as he may be, he can demand lots of TLC and major
reassurance.

Youngest: He tends to be a loving, outgoing, freethinking charmer.
He's a great storyteller and great at cocktail parties. However he
can be flaky, leaving you to make all the weekend plans.

An only child: He's a driven guy who'll be totally devoted. But
since he never had to share his parents' love and attention or
any possessions with siblings, he may be self-centered and
possessive of belongings.

That all sounds about right ... But what about a more cynical
approach to the Birth Order Blues?

First born: He got everything first ... so he will be the first to
cheat, lie, and steal your best friend's heart. Proceed with caution.

The middle child: The middle child expects nothing, because he was
always overlooked by his parents. Unfortunately, this attitude spills
over into his relationships and you'll get nothing too.

Youngest: Since he got most of the loving attention because he was
the baby in the family, he'll be a baby in your relationship as well
and will need to be coddled and placated.

An only child: This guy may be your best bet -- since no one was
around to corrupt him -- YOU can do the honors.

it doesn't pay to be a show off

2008-08-22T19:11:00.001-05:00

Show Off Gets Knocked Out Cold - Watch more free videos

Save Gas by filling up in the morning? .....read on

2008-08-22T18:55:00.001-05:00

Some people say it's better to buy your gasoline first thing in the morning, rather than in the heat of the day. That's because gasoline, like all liquids, expands when heated. So, according to this advice, gasoline will be denser in the cool of early morning, meaning you'll get more energy per gallon than later in the day.
The basic facts are correct, but the advice is not. Gasoline does expand and contract a little depending on its temperature. When gasoline rises from 60 to 75 degrees F, for instance, it increases in volume by 1 percent while the energy content remains the same.

But filling stations typically store their gasoline in underground tanks, where the temperature variation during the day is much less than in the air above. The result is that the temperature of the gasoline coming out of the fuel nozzle varies very little, if at all, during any 24-hour stretch at any particular station.
Craig Eerkes

Credit card scam

2008-08-18T08:40:00.001-05:00

New Credit Card Scam

Snopes.com says this is true. See this site - http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp
This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want.
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.
One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'Master Card'. The scam works like this: Caller: 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This wo uld be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona ?'
When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?'
You say 'yes'. The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800- VISA) and ask for Security.'
You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'
Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3=2 0numbers, he'll say, 'That is corre ct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?' After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do, and hangs up.
You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card Don't give it to them. Instead, tel l them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of Master Card' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening

Save without Sacrifice

2008-08-13T10:31:00.000-05:00

There's no question that saving for the future is critical. While some people save for retirement or to support their children, others seek a vacation or a down payment on a home. Whatever the case, putting income aside is part of life - and when it comes to saving, the sooner you start, the bigger the payoff.
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But even if you have a specific goal in mind - for example, digging yourself out of debt - being a penny-pincher just isn't fun. Fattening your bank account may be a priority, but so is enjoying life. And although some people equate saving money with social suicide, a healthy bank account doesn't have to mean eliminating social engagements. Realistically, a "no expenses" diet is impossible unless you're a hermit - and that's why you should focus on slashing costs where you can instead of cutting yourself off completely.

Let's take a look at a four things you can do to save like Scrooge, but without all the grumpy side effects.

1. Rethink the Luxuries
Our consumer culture is replete with new technologies and endless competition, which means nifty gadgets and superfluous luxuries have become par for the course. We're constantly bombarded with appeals to take part in the social ritual of buying products that look tempting, no matter how frivolous or unnecessary they may be. As for what we do need, advertisers are adept at selling consumers on cool-looking, costly brands, when their lesser-known, cheaper counterparts are just as good.

Of course, it's the buyer's prerogative to choose: you can go with the latest MP3 player, complete with video, email and color-coordinating accessories, or you can pick a basic, less expensive model - it might not be as fancy, but you still get music, right? Why not save your extra dollars for something that really counts?

Before you reach for your wallet, ask yourself whether the purchase is a need or a want.If it's a want, determine whether it's worth it: in the long run, would you rather have the latest iPod - and let's face it, you mostly want it because of the hype - or the peace of mind in knowing you've delayed gratification in order to afford something more meaningful? Apply this principle to every retail temptation you're faced with and you'll avoid needlessly dumping your money.

2. Surf and Save
The stereotypical clip-and-save coupon is time-consuming and limited to groceries and bargains-of-the-week, but today's e-coupons are just a mouse click away. Before planning your next night out or mini-vacation, take a minute to surf these free websites where you'll save a pretty penny:

StubHub. Saving is no fun when you're missing your favorite events. This site (www.stubhub.com), which allows you to buy tickets directly from individuals, is perfect for finding discounted tickets to your favorite band or play.
Airfare Watchdog. As soon as you've planned a trip, register at www.airfarewatchdog.com. The site tracks fares for all major airlines and will send you an email alert when cheap tickets to your destination pop up.
Cellfire. Forget the scissors; next time you want a night on the town, log on to www.cellfire.com, enter in your postal code, and browse hundreds of online coupons for stores and restaurants. Then just download the one you want to your cell phone and show it to the venue's cashier.
3. The Vice-A-Day Deal
We've all heard that the best way to save is to curtail extraneous spending - bring lunch from home, watch movies on TV and lose the daily latte. But much the same way that cutting all fun food out of your life probably isn't the best way to diet, a bare-bones approach to saving likely won't last, either - and you'll be miserable to boot.
So instead of depriving yourself of spending money on anything, ever, try easing back: indulge in a vice a day, whether a morning cappuccino, lunch with friends, or a video rental. Not only will you save a ton by allowing just one daily extravagance, you'll appreciate the treat that much more. Take the money you would normally spend on the extra indulgences and put it into your savings account. You probably won't miss the extra dollars, but by the end of the year, you'll be rewarded with a significantly stacked bank account.

4. Trim Housing Costs
Bills are a fact of life, but that doesn't mean you can't reduce them. All it takes is a few household tweaks that can end up saving you hundreds of dollars every year.

When it comes to utilities, shop around: it's a consumer-driven marketplace and utility companies have to compete just like every other industry. Switch to a company that offers a low-cost plan that works with your lifestyle.

To avoid paying for "phantom loads", the small amount of electricity that many appliances consume even when you think they're off, take pains to unplug all appliances and electronics that aren't in use. That includes anything from cell phone chargers to your computer, DVD player and video game console.

Also, moving your thermostat a few notches creates a barely noticeable difference in temperature, but can make a significant dent in your monthly utility payments.

Another simple way to save is to install eco-friendly devices in your home, like low-flow shower heads and energy-saving appliances. With sustainability at the forefront of the social agenda, it's easier than ever to find green appliances at a low cost, and these switches will amount to a hefty reduction in your bills by year's end. And while you're giving your home an energy makeover, exchange all those incandescent light bulbs for compact fluorescent bulbs; they use 75% less energy and have a much longer lifespan.

Start Today for Tomorrow's Savings
Whatever your financial goals, it's best to tailor spending habits to your individual lifestyle. Decide what can be reasonably cut from your budget: if you can live without a morning cup of java, for example, forgo it. If not, pack your lunch instead of buying it, or frequent the video store instead of the theater. And there's no need to pass up a social life when there's plenty of entertainment that costs nothing: bike rides, beach days, picnics in the park, even museums and art galleries. Get out there, explore your city, have fun with your friends and don't ever feel the need to sacrifice your life for your savings.

Moon's High School Photo & Scott Baio...The same person?...Hey Charles in Charge!!!

2008-08-13T06:28:00.004-05:00

Click Here for "Charge in Charge Theme" song

Drop Moon a Email and tell him what you think:

www.mooninthemorning1049@yahoo.com

11 to avoid arguements

2008-08-11T05:13:00.001-05:00

Many disagreements are petty, and though some may signal a larger problem (e.g. fighting over what time dinner is served -- which at a deeper level, may mean a couple is mired deep in major control issues), there are those disagreements that can be prevented altogether or "sidestepped."
I offer these tips that could help you stave off friction that you and your mate could do without:

1. Don't taunt your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate. This includes constant teasing, ridicule, and gestures that send your mate into a tizzy or rage. Also, avoid the body-language "comments" ranging from rolling your eyes to smirking sarcastically.

2. Change the subject. If it appears you're going down that familiar trail of bickering, ambush the conversation by jumping in with a comment on a more pleasant topic.

3. Keep to your agreements. If you say you will be on time or pick up your dirty socks, then do it. Flaking on a small agreement can escalate into something bigger. Making agreements and not keeping them -- minor or major -- can set the stage for constant arguing, and no couple needs that.

4. Hold your tongue. Though you may want to blurt out a criticism or a snide remark, restrain yourself. When you decide to keep some remarks to yourself, you may avoid petty arguments altogether. Remember that old adage: "If you can't say anything nice..."

5. Don't engage. Another famous saying: "It takes two to tango." If you refuse to play the bickering game when your mate starts in, he/she will have to look elsewhere to direct his/her jabs.

6. Forget about being right. It is oh-so tempting to want to climb all over your mate when he/she does not live up to his/her minor promises (like not getting your car washed yesterday when he/she promised). Yes, you're right: He/she is wrong, but is it worth getting into a huff about? Granted, it's irritating to count on someone for something and not have them come through, but save the "I'm right and you're wrong" for the big stuff, like when your mate says he/she will make a commitment to stop swearing in front of your parents and continues to do so.

7. Forget the "tit for tat." It's a natural response to want to get even with those who hurt your feelings or make you mad, but what does that do for your relationship? When the sun sets, wouldn't you rather snuggle up and watch it together than sulk in different rooms? There is never any point in leveling the playing field.

8. If it's not a deal-breaker, let it go. Sometimes all of us get mired in the petty things, when it is far better to roll with them. As you begin to partake in a petty argument, ask yourself whether what you're fighting over is something that could cause the demise of your relationship. If the answer is "no," then go with the flow.

9. Find another outlet for venting. Many petty arguments are a result of one person unloading on another because he/she has had a bad day. Take up boxing, swing that racket extra hard on the tennis court, get on the treadmill, run like Forrest Gump, but do not take out your bad day on your mate by picking a fight over nothing. Direct your frustration elsewhere.

10. Be prepared. If your mate gets lost every time he/she gets behind the wheel, find your destination in Yahoo! Local ahead of time. When your mate starts to complain that he/she cannot find the way, don't nag. Slide the directions over to your mate or read them off nicely.

11. Ply your sense of humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor. Make light of the pettiness; you will find the absurdity of what you're fighting over amusing. Humor is essential in any relationship. But, don't use humor -- or what you perceive as humorous -- to de-value what your mate is feeling.
Arguing over petty matters can set the stage for chronic fighting, which is exhausting. That is not to suggest that you should roll over and go with the flow all of the time. Should you give up your "self" in the process of trying to appease your mate, you can easily create even greater damage to the relationship because resentments build up over time. If the petty arguments are chronic, talk them through, or get help from a professional who can help the two of you negotiate your differences. Too much arguing or too much resentment can lead to a breakup because most people will not stay in a relationship where there is constant discord. It is best to learn to delineate the trivial differences from the big ones so that you do not set the stage for letting your differences -- large or small -- split you apart.

How Jails should be

2008-07-23T11:44:00.003-05:00

Now this is my kind of Sheriff..

USA JAIL - SOME INTERESTING READING
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA COUNTY SHERIFF ( ARIZONA) AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

These are some of the reasons why:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the 'tent city jail' to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex.

He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but 'G' movies. He says:
'They're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave.'

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel, he replied: 'So these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.'
He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back.'

He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd 2008), the Associated Press reported: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed wire surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On the Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were overheard chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees.
'This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace,' said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. 'It's inhumane.'

Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. 'Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.'

The same day he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: 'It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun, wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!'

Way to go, Sheriff! If all prisons were like yours there would be a lot less crime and we would not be in the current position of running out of prison spaces.

Green Bay Gambler New Logo

2008-07-23T06:27:00.002-05:00

The Green Bay Gamblers unveiled a new logo Tuesday - but one with a familiar theme.

The junior hockey team's new logo features a Bobcat holding a hockey stick - with an ace up his sleeve.

The Bobcats were a semi-pro and junior hockey team which played in Green Bay from the mid-1950s to 1981.

“We have one of the premier franchises in the United States Hockey League and now we have one of the premier logos,” said Gamblers President Brendan Bruss. “The new look represents hockey’s past, present and future in Green Bay and we’re confident it’s one that kids will enjoy.”

The Gamblers' season - its first under new head coach John Cooper - opens Oct. 4 vs. Waterloo at the Resch Center.

This is the team's fourth primary logo. Others included a goalie mask next to a playing card; a cowboy with playing cards; and various versions of the letters "GB

Manic Mondays

2008-07-23T05:45:00.001-05:00

JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY
Here are five tips to help you maintain your sanity on everyone's
least-favorite day
#1.) SLEEP IN. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, but hear me out.
You have to get enough sleep on Sunday night. So, even if it's just 15
more minutes on Monday morning, extra sleep will keep you happier and more
alert.
#2.) HOP OUT OF BED. When it IS time to get up, lying there and dreading
the start of your day will just make things worse. Getting out of bed on
Monday is half the battle
#3.) END YOUR SHOWER WITH COLD WATER. The extra jolt at the end of your
relaxing shower will make you more alert and ready to face the day.
#4.) LET THE SUN IN. Whether it's during a morning walk or just by
opening the blinds, exposing your body to bright sunlight will convince
your body to wake up.
#5.) PREPARE AHEAD AT WORK. Being greeted by a clean desk and a to-do
list on Monday can ease you into the work week. Do what you can on Friday
afternoon to make your Monday easier

We love ya' Brett..but Seriously

2008-07-18T16:42:00.000-05:00

We Love Brett, But enough already....make up your friggin' mind!

BRETT FAVRE SITS DOWN WITH FOX NEWS

2008-07-15T10:37:00.006-05:00

For Video Click Here

Kids Summer Toys

2008-07-15T05:32:00.001-05:00

Kids love playing with water toys, especially in the hot summer. There's nothing better than splashing around with water on a sultry hot summer's afternoon. Water toy guns are a hot favorite among boys and girls alike. Water toys like water sprinkers, bubble blowers, and other water toys to use in the pools are very popular with the young ones. Here are some great water toys that your kids will enjoy.

1. Little Tikes Ultimate Beach Ball Sprinkler
This wonderful summer water toy is sure to be a big hit with the kids. This big beach ball inflates and connects to your water hose. When the water is turned on, the ball turns into a sprinker, with water spraying out on all sides. This water toy is perfect for your backyard or garden and will keep the kids busy for a while.
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Backyard water slides, bouncers, swingsets. Great selection!
www.Top-Toys-Kids.com

Hottest Toy on the Lake
Impress your friends: Walk on Water Fun, safe, no-hassle fun for all
www.theWaterMat.com

2. Rainbow Reef Magic Action Trigger Fish
These realistic, as the name suggests, brightly colored tropical looking toy fish really swim once they are in the water. These battery operated fish will transform your swimming pool or water body into a tropical paradise. A great water toy to have to impress friends and family.
Buy Direct3. Bubble Mower
Bubbles and kids get along famously! This cleverly designed Bubble Mower from Fisher-Price is a push-along toy which can also blow bubbles. Kids will love to pretend to mow the lawn with this brightly colored outdoor toy and watch the big bubbles come out. You have to fill the dispenser with the bubble solution provided. The bubble solution can be replaced with other solution bought elsewhere.
Buy Direct4. Naturally Playful Sand and Water Activity Center
This handy sand and water play center is ideal for your backyard. Nicely blending in with outdoorsy textures and colors, this center comes with an umbrella to sheild your child from the hot sun. There are 2 partitions, one for upto 20 lbs of sand and the other for upto 2 gallons of water. A great alternative to a traditional sandbox, not to mention the added fun with water too.
5. Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast
The Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast is great toy water gun with 2 options - spray a stream of water through the main nozzle, or add ice to the water for some extra shocks! Very promising water toy for some great water fights in your backyard!
Buy Direct6. Bounce 'Round Splash & Glide Water Slide
This is a huge 8 ft water slide which promises to be a wet and wild adventure for your kids. The Waterslide includes a 5' x 14.5' bounce with a combined 25 feet of water run sliding. Sturdy and strong, this water toy slide is a expensive investment, but if you are looking for excitement in your own backyard, you could go in for it.
Manufacturer's Site7. Toypedo Pool Toy
This simple yet fascinating pool water toy is an underwater torpedo. Throw it into the pool, and watch it slice through the depths of the water. Kids will have lots of fun diving after this toy, and enjoy playing games with it.
8. Gazillion JumBubbler
This is an awesome bubble blower from Funrise Toys. The size of these bubbles is amazing, and will fascinate and engage your child! A 32 oz bubble solution of Gazillion blue bubble solution is included with the bubble maker. This fun bubble making toy comes highly recommended.
Buy Direct9. Swimways 2-in-1 Pool Basketball and Volleyball
Turn your swimming pool into a basketball or volleyball court with this versatile pool game. Included are a pro-style basketball and volleyball, along with a 20 ft net.
10. Poolmaster Volcano Island Inflatable Pool Toy
The Poolmaster floating pool toy is modelled along the lines of an erupting volcano. Simply plug the water toy into your garden hose and watch the fun as the volcano erupts. This fun filled floating toy has 4 side chambers and one underwater chamber from which to enter, and is strong and durable for hours of fun.

Carrie Underwood in a Bikini

2008-07-14T07:58:00.003-05:00

TO SEE MORE CARRIE UNDERWOOD BIKINI PICTURES CLICK HERE

hormone hostage

2008-07-13T17:38:00.001-05:00

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: How about some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Would you like some chocolate?

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more

What a Packer fan never hopes to see

2008-07-12T23:19:00.001-05:00

WANNA BRING BRETT BACK TO THE PACK? CLICK HERE

Olga's Messages left by Dimitri

2008-07-10T11:50:00.005-05:00

Ok...so If you missed the calls from Dimitri on this Morning's MOON In The Morning Here is the rundown.

My Friend Judy took a roadtrip with a bunch of girls down to Chicago for a weekend of fun. They Met up with a girl named Olga...

They all went out clubbin' and had a great time. As they were outside the bar waiting for a cab. Olga was approached by a man named Dimitri, they talk
for at the most 2 minutes. Olga then hands Dimitri her business card and says
call me.

CLICK HERE for is the ACTUAL VOICEMAIL that Dimitri left her.

Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you’ll fall out of your
chair!! Can you say Pompous A**!

Cooter's Redneck Love Poem

2008-07-10T08:25:00.001-05:00

A REDNECK LOVE POEM (THANK YOU Cooter)

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.

I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL...'

'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER.

BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

Sress Relief

2008-07-08T17:31:00.001-05:00

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management
technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing
is that it works.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding
underwater.

8. See - You're smiling already!

It's never how you dreamed it would be....but

2008-07-08T07:19:00.000-05:00

Contributed by: Beth Schwartz on 7/6/2008
You know? I love being a mom, but all of those wonderful activities with your children you fantasize about so lovingly happening before you actually have children, never seem to go the way they were dreamed.

At least with my kids! Take my son's baseball game the other day. A perfect example:

It's a beautiful summer evening as we arrive at the baseball field for my 8 year old's game, teenage daughter and middle son in tow along with the excited player himself.

The kids excitedly take off for the field while I lock up the car and when I turn the corner, I see my 11 year old laying helplessly on the sidewalk writhing in pain and crying. He had taken a major digger and was bleeding from the elbow, side and knee.

Now you have to know that I have been really excited the past few years because I have been reaching some mile stones in the parenting world; no more car seats, sippy cup and bottles, being able to NOT get in the pool anymore with the kids.. (a big one), and of course not having to lug a baby seat, stroller and diaper bag full of drinks, snacks, toys (scotch tape is a good toy for some reason) and of course the first aid kit and bandaids!

So I help him up and have to use my.. ugh shirt to wipe of the dirt, blood and tears the best I can. A nice mom, who apparently still has smaller children and is thus still very well equipped, takes pity on me and lends me a couple bandaids.

Ah, trauma over, not so bad.

My younger son has a great game!!!!!!! He made 3 outs, was hitting 3 for 3 and had a few RBI's and I think to myself, "Yeah. Now THIS is what I have always dreamed" which, in hindsight , really means now something really bad is about to happen..

He is at short stop, pop fly! I know he can catch it! He has practiced so hard!

I see the ball flying through the air and it is coming right for him! In a spit second I glance at him and there he is, mit up, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, eyes on the ball when .... I lose sight of the ball in the sun.

Apparently he did too and it finds its way down, a direct hit to his nose. Play stops for a second while the third base coach from the other team sees if he is ok. I see my son nodding his head , "shaking it off.. manning up" and within a flash, play resumes, but my eyes never leave him.

His left hand is in his glove, held up for the ready, but his right hand is still covering his nose.. Hard to see if it is bleeding. I scan the feild, all players and coaches (except the third base coach) have totally moved on to the next batter and the game.

I scan the onlookers, parents watching, for their son's next great play, my 11 year old still holding his elbow in his hand, trying to hold back tears for an arm he is sure is broken, daughter oblivious to the world with her phone in hand texting her fan club and smiling in her own little universe.

No one but me (and the third base coach) thinking it is not right that he won't take his hand away. I see his little eyes dart to me with the look of "HELP"!! So I ask him to take his hand away.

He does and a Mt. St Helens eruption of gushing blood starts making its way down his face and onto his shirt and cleats below. Immediately he puts his hand back to his nose andI can see it starting to flow through his fingers!

And again, I look the the players , coaches and parents. Nothing. Finally the third base coach , looking a little peeked perhaps at the sight of blood, again asks him if he is ok and he too starts looking to stop play.

Finally I decide i have to do the unthinkable (at least in the mind of a child) and go out on the field to pull him out. The second my son sees mom walking onto the field he takes off, running away from the ONE person who just seconds before he had been screaming silently to help him with his huge brown eyes!

When I finally catch him, I realize how unpreparedI am and again, have to use my shirt to try and block the flow of blood coming from his now gushing nostril.
Thankfully the game ended there after and as we walked back to the car I could just imagine what we looked like.

The 4 of us, walking in slow motion away from a "battle". One with his bat slung over his shoulder and a piece of toilet paper wedged and protruding from his nose, one with his head down, cradling his damaged elbow in his good arm, me covered in blood and dirt looking like I just shot a spot in "Die Hard 5 - Nightmare at the Ball Park", and my daughter, trailing behind, phone still in her hand with fingers busily pressing keys, totaly unaware that she is even on the planet.

The nice mom who offered up the bandaids earlier said , "Boy, this just wasn't your night" with a polite smile and I thought to myself... "Ya, but it makes my life.. mine and I wouldn't give it up for the world".

I'm glad life doesn't always go on like you dream ...

Ultra low rides...would you let your daughter's wear these?

2008-07-07T11:55:00.001-05:00

CHECK OUT THESE ULTRA LOW-RIDER JEANS!

Mom, would you let your daughter out of the house wearing these?

A Brazilian clothing company called Sanna has created jeans that have the thongs BUILT into them, so that the jeans can hang SUPER low without falling off.

Old Flame (talk topic for 7.8.08)

2008-07-07T11:37:00.000-05:00

OLD FLAME:

Moon recently received an email from an old college girlfriend. It
seems that she had come across his MySpace Page (what a follower).
They hadn’t talked since they were in college, so she updated Moon on
her life.

She went on and on and while Laura was reading the email, he wondered if
she was still as hot as she was in college (pervert). Moon told her
about his family and his kids and that he would send her a pic of his family. She thought
that was great and said that she would send Moon a picture of her family
too, “But”… Moon got excited, because he thought he was going to get
to see what she looked like, but no. Her “But” stopped him in his tracks.

She said that she would like to send him a picture, but she wasn’t in it. Why?
She said she got fat and didn’t want him to see her that way. Moon told
her that nobody cared that she got fat, just send the picture.. He told
her he also got fat too.

So is it good to see an ex from the past.. or should you just go on
remembering the good old days?

BARBEQUING LIKE A REAL MAN SHOULD

2008-07-07T11:31:00.000-05:00

Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do. When
man declares he will BBQ, the following chain of events is
put into
motion:
1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the
man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off. And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just
no pleasing a woman.

The Origins of your favorite muppets

2008-07-06T20:20:00.001-05:00

The Quick 10: The Origins of 10 of Your Favorite Muppets

I, like a lot of you, grew up on Sesame Street and the Muppets. But do you ever stop to wonder where they came from? Some of the characters we know and love today were recycled from other T.V. shows and commercials Jim Henson worked on and others were invented by using whatever materials were around. Be prepared for a little nostalgia for today’s Q10. And don’t be offended if I left out some of your favorites (I know, Big Bird?!) – not all of the characters have interesting background stories. But if you know the story behind one that I left out, share with us in the comments!
The Origins of 10 of Your Favorite Muppets
1. Cookie Monster. Jim Henson drew some monsters eating various snacks for a General Foods commercial in 1966. The commercial was never used, but Henson recycled one of the monsters (the “Wheel-Stealer”) for an IBM training video in 1967 and again for a Fritos commercial in 1969. By this time, he started working on Sesame Street and decided this monster would have a home there.
2. Elmo. The way it’s described by a Sesame Street writer, apparently this extra red puppet was just lying around. People would pick him up and try to do something with him, but nothing really panned out. In 1984, puppeteer Kevin Clash picked up the red puppet and started doing the voice and the personality and it clicked – thus, Elmo was born.
3. Telly Monster was originally the Television Monster when he debuted in 1979. He was obsessed with T.V. and his eves would whirl around as if hypnotized whenever he was in front of a set. After a while, producers started worrying about his influence on youngsters, so they changed him to make him the chronic worrier he is now.
4. Count von Count made his first appearance in 1972 and was made out of an Anything Muppet pattern – a blank Muppet head that could have features added to it to make various characters. He used to be more sinister – he was able to hypnotize and stun people and he laughed in typical scary-villain-type fashion after completing a count of something and thunder and lightning would occur. He was quickly made more appealing to little kids, though. He is apparently quite the ladies’ man – he has been linked to Countess von Backward, who loves to count backward; Countess Dahling von Dahling and Lady Two.5. Kermit was “born” in 1955 and first showed up on Sam and Friends, a five-minute puppet show by Jim Henson. The first Kermit was made out of Henson’s mom’s coat and some ping pong balls. At the time, he was more lizard-like than frog-like. By the time he showed up on Sesame Street in 1969, though, he had made the transition to frog. There are rumors that he got the name Kermit from a childhood friend of Henson’s or a puppeteer from the early days of the Muppets, but Henson always refuted both of those rumors.
6. Real Swedish Chef Lars “Kuprik” Bäckman claims he was the inspiration for the Swedish Chef. He was on Good Morning America, he says, and caught Jim Henson’s eye. Henson supposedly bought the rights to the Good Morning America recording and created the Swedish Chef (who DOES have a real name, but it’s not understandable). One of the Muppet writers, Jerry Juhl, says that in all of the years of working with Jim Henson on the Swedish Chef, he never heard that the character was based on a real person.
7. Animal - Everyone’s favorite member of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem may have been inspired by Keith Moon of The Who. This is speculation, but people who support this theory will point out that Jim Henson named one of the Fraggle Rock characters “Wembley”, which is the town Moon was born in.
8. Miss Piggy is apparently from Iowa. Makes sense. Anyway, she started as a minor character on The Muppet Show, but anyone who knows Miss Piggy can see that she wouldn’t settle for anything “minor”. Her first T.V. appearance was actually on an Herb Alpert special. It wasn’t until 1976, when The Muppet Show premiered, that she became the glamorous blonde with a penchant for frog that we know and love today. Frank Oz once said that Miss Piggy grew up in Iowa; her dad died when she was young and her mother was mean. She had to enter beauty contests to make money.
9. Rowlf the dog, surprise, surprise, was first made in 1962 for a series of Purina Dog Chow commercials. He went on to claim fame as Jimmy Dean’s sidekick on The Jimmy Dean Show and was on every single episode from 1963 to 1966. Jimmy Dean said Rowlf got about 2,000 letters from fans every week. He was considered for Sesame Street but ended up becoming a regular on The Muppet Show in 1976.
10. Oscar the Grouch is performed by the same guy who does Big Bird, Carroll Spinney. Spinney said he based Oscar’s cranky voice on a particular NYC cab driver he once had the pleasure of riding with. He was originally an alarming shade of orange. In Pakistan, his name is Akhtar and he lives in an oil barrel. In Turkey, he is Kirpik and lives in a basket. And in Israel, it’s not Oscar at all – it’s his cousin, Moishe Oofnik, who lives in an old car.

Worst Chain Breakfasts....yikes!

2008-07-03T09:58:00.000-05:00

Worst Chain Breakfast Diet-Busters & Satisfying Swaps

POST A COMMENT »
Hungry Girl is here with the 411 on some flab-inducing breakfasts, and recipe swaps that slash calories and fat FAST!
Attack of the 1,210-Calorie Veggie Omelette!

At IHOP, you might think ordering the spinach and mushroom omelette is a good idea -- but this egg disaster has a shocking 1,210 calories (eeeks!). Instead, try HG's Ginormous Oven-Baked Omelette -- you can have a giant piece of our protein-packed omelette for just 140 calories and 3g fat! An added bonus? You can make it the night before and then simply heat 'n' eat in the AM!
79-Grams-of-Fat French Toast!

Even if you're DYING for French toast, avoid Denny's Fabulous French Toast Platter at all costs. This freaky breakfast plate will cost you 1,261 calories and 79g fat! Instead of feasting on this diet dud, try HG's Cinnamonlicious French Toast. It has just 170 calories and 1g fat. And if you crave the sausage links and bacon slices this platter comes with, go for Morningstar Farms' Sausage Links (2 links = 80 calories and 3g fat) and Jennie-O's Extra Lean Turkey Bacon (2 slices = 40 calories and 1g fat). Then finish it off with sugar-free pancake syrup!
Morning Muffin Mayhem!

McDonald's regular Egg McMuffin has 300 calories and 12g fat. For a tiny little muffin? And if you slip up and order the one with sausage, you'll be gobbling up 450 calories and 27g fat. YIKES!! Try HG's Egga Muffin instead, for only 165 calories and 1.5g fat.
600-Calorie B-Fast Sandwich Alert!

Subway may be known for its low-fat sub menu, but think twice before grabbing the sandwich chain's 6-inch Chipotle Steak and Cheese Breakfast Omelet Sandwich. That meaty monstrosity has 600 calories and 32 grams of fat! If you wanna go Southwestern, you'd be way better off with HG's Bueno Breakfast Burrito, with only 170 calories and 5g fat.Slam Don't! (Denny's 1,040-Calorie Dud!)

So you're starving ... and you order up Denny's Lumberjack Slam with hash browns. (The thing already includes pancakes, ham, bacon, sausage, AND eggs!) How can we say this politely -- BAD IDEA!!! This massive morning mistake is loaded with 1,040 calories and 53g fat! If you crave a little bit of everything, why not whip up our Super Duper Veggie Scramble (only 150 calories and 5g fat), HG's Very Blueberry Pancakes (201 calories and 2g fat), and our Butternut Hash Browns (85 calories and 1g fat)? ALL of that would cost you only 436 calories and 8g fat -- that's less than HALF the calories and EIGHTY FIVE percent less fat than Denny's Lumberjack disaster!

Signs you can tell your about to break up

2008-07-03T08:00:00.001-05:00

When it comes to breaking up, hindsight is 20/20. But wouldn't it be nice if you could tell that you and your partner were headed for a falling out before it happened?

Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.

Red Flag #1: Tuning Out
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.

The Cure: Take Down the Wall
Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner's feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.

Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with Fire
Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.

The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames
The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that's not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?," you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don't engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can't fight fire with fire if the other person won't engage in the flame-throwing.

Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own Up
No one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don't try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple... but it can save your relationship.

By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.

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Seminars I found in the NWTC Registration pamphlet

2008-07-01T11:41:00.001-05:00

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN . . . . . .
- Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV- Doing Housework Without Complaining- Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge- Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look Fat?"- Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother- Sex: Learning How to Initiate- The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle- Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World- Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours- Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases- Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

SEMINARS FOR MEN .....
- You Too Can Do Housework- P.M.S: Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut- How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray- Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM- Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception- You, The Weaker Sex- Reasons To Give Flowers- How To Stay Awake After Sex- Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom- You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try- The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous- How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost- The Remote Control; Overcoming Your Dependency- Fluffing the Blankets After Farting: Why it Doesn't Work

Purse lady update...part 4

2008-06-24T19:58:00.003-05:00

We sent out the purse loaded with all our goodies collected from listeners on the street. Sour cream, pretzels, guacamole, confetti and much more...we put all her belongings in a palstic bag, and put the purse and bag in a box. It was shipped out Friday....No angry calls from Purse lady or lawyers yet. We will keep you posted!

If you missed the story..check out the audio on our Moon podcasts...

thanks...we love ya!!

Moon

Baby born with second penis on back

2008-06-22T19:00:00.002-05:00

The tot was born to farmer dad Li Jun, 30, and his unnamed wife, who live in Hejian city in central China's Henan province.

But he was rushed to Tianjin Childrens' Hospital on May 27 for surgery to remove his extra manhood.

The rare condition, the first for Tianjin Childrens' Hospital, is called fetus in fetu (FIF).

Doctors, who spent over three hours removing the extra penis on June 6, said he was fine following surgery.

Nicr guys do finish last

2008-06-22T12:15:00.000-05:00

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.

What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:
Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

The Engagement Chicken

2008-06-18T20:39:00.001-05:00

We found this article in Glamour Magazine.

First comes chicken, then comes marriage? Be skeptical if you must,
but this recipe may be charmed. It all began 26 years ago, when
then-Glamour fashion editor Kim Bonnell gave the recipe to her
assistant, Kathy Suder, who made the chicken for her boyfriend,
who, a month later, asked her to marry him. "It's a meal your wife
would make. It got me thinking," says Jon Suder, who now has three
children with Kathy. Details of the simple dish passed from assistant
to assistant like a culinary chain letter. When Bonnell heard that
her recipe had inspired three weddings, she dubbed it Engagement
Chicken.

How to make "Engagement Chicken"

Serves 2 to 3

1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
Kosher or sea salt
Ground black pepper
2 lemons, plus 1 for garnish
Fresh herbs for garnish

Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400°F. Remove
giblets, wash chicken inside and out with cold water, then let it
drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room
temperature (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels.
Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season
with salt and pepper. Prick two whole lemons three times with a
fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard,
roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place
bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to
350°F and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn
it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35
minutes more. Test for doneness--a meat thermometer inserted in
the thigh should read 180°F, or juices should run clear when
chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let
chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.
Garnish with fresh herbs and lemon

redneck southern dictionary

2008-06-16T19:30:00.000-05:00

Redneck Southern Dictionary

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1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting

2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."

5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments." (Correction: Capitol is Montgomery - thanks, G. MacCrone!)

6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."

20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"

22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?

24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"

27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."

NEW ADDITIONS (2/2/06):

29) JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?

30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?

31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.

NEW ADDITION (2/16/06):

32) TRAMPOLINE - (noun) - A bed that you can't get in trouble for jumping on.

NEW ADDITION (5/31/06):

33) WRENCH OFF (verb) - what you do instead of taking a shower. Usage: "Let me go wrench off before we go out tonight."

Inspiration by RUDY

2008-06-14T20:18:00.000-05:00

Insight #1

Be the person you want to be. "Make the decision to take action and move closer to your Dream. Create daily success habits and surround yourself with information that will empower and inspire you."

Insight #2

Use anger in a positive way to get results. "Anger is a normal reaction. It's what you do with anger that makes a difference in your life ... direct your anger towards a goal ... use anger in a positive way to get results ... from anger comes determination ... comes triumph."

Insight #3

It starts with a Dream. "Visualize your Dream and make a commitment. Having a Dream is what makes life exciting. Never underestimate the power of a Dream. It will change your life. A Dream gives you the ability to determine your future."

Insight #4

Eliminate the confusion. "Find mentors who encourage you. The right information will eliminate confusion. Visualize exactly what you want to be ... and focus on that ... believe in yourself and don't let anything stop you. Reinforce your Dream every day with positive information from tapes, books, and mentors. Each day you will get closer to your Dream. Eliminate the confusion and fears, and make it happen."

Insight #5

The greater the struggle, the greater the victory. "Most people allow struggles and fear of failure to stop them. The key is to learn from your struggles and move on. Failures will make you stronger and give you the information you need to reach your Dream. Struggle will prepare you for success. Without struggle there is no success."

Insight #6

Follow your passion instead of the dollar. "There's nothing wrong with making money ... but, it's important to focus on your passion instead of the dollar. For me, decisions based on my passion brought me closer to my Dream, while decisions based only on money took me further away. If you focus on what really fulfills you, you will have success. The dollar alone does not bring happiness."

Insight #7

Excuses will kill your Dream. "What we're really talking about here is commitment. Until you make a commitment to your Dream, it's not really a Dream ... it's just another fantasy full of excuses. Fantasies don't come true because they're not real, we're not committed to them. When we make commitments, we eliminate excuses and they become Dreams ... and Dreams are definitely real."

Insight #8

Prepare for your Dream. "Preparation is what comes from struggle. Knowledge comes from preparation. These are the elements that pave the road to your Dream. If we do not prepare we will not succeed. Set your goals and pursue your Dreams with all your heart. If you miss a goal, don't quit, reset it! You just need to learn more ... step by step you will win!"

Insight #9

Focus on your Dream and Never Quit. It is always too soon to quit. If you quit, you can't succeed. By achieving your Dream you will be an inspiration to others. You will set the example and make an enormous impact on the world. Make it happen!"

Insight #10

Always have a Dream. "Dreams give us energy to go to new levels. Dreams change lives ... the power of life is in your Dreams!"

FORWARDED EMAILS

2008-06-12T05:35:00.000-05:00

I normally don’t put these forwarded emails on my reports, but this
one is very funny and relatable, as I just received my one-millionth
email today, from a “friend” telling me that they care about me so much
they have sent me an angel, BUT if I don’t forward the same message to
ten people in the next ten minutes, I will be hit by a bus. Thank you
friend.

SO THANK YOU:

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over
the past year.

I am totally screwed up and have little chance of recovery.

Thanks to you . . . .

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what
the last person was doing while flipping through the
adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because

I can only imagine what ha s happened on it since it was last washed.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for
the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending
me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes .

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
pumping gas.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped
in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas
companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00
PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-
law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

Marriage quotes

2008-06-12T05:21:00.001-05:00

MARRIAGE QUOTES …
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage certificate: just another word for a work permit.

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Getting married is very much like buying a car...

You get what you want, and when you see what the other guy has,
you wish you had ordered that model instead.

When a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage, it's called self-defense.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

The Miracle fruit

2008-06-12T05:06:00.003-05:00

This is the Miracle Fruit website of Curtis Mozie.
"At 'flavor tripping' parties, guests eat a berry known as miracle fruit that temporarily rewires taste buds, turning sour flavors sweet."

http://www.miraclefruitman.com/

So said The New York Times in May 2008 in their article A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue. The story also appeared in the Global Edition's Travel & Dining section: International Herald Tribune.
Because of the unique nature of the fruit, the story was picked up by a number of publications. Combined with the video posted on The New York Times website, and a number of blogs, a 'buzz' was created. That buzz has resulted in an overwhelming demand for Miracle Fruit. The video below on YouTube was watched more than 10,000 times in the week following the article.

As a completely natural product, grown on trees, availability is dependent on weather. Rest assured all orders will be filled in the order they are received, and paid for.

Due to the backlog in supply, it could be several weeks before we can ship your order. If you sent us an email, we're working on responding, so hang in there. The fruit is worth the wait.

Change Begins In Your Head
We think of the Miracle Fruit as a symbol of change. It will help you gain a new perspective, even if for only a few hours. Be patient. We're harvesting the fruit as quickly as it ripens on a daily basis. Unfortunately, it is not like an orange grove or vineyard. Each miracle fruit tree provides a few dozen berries at a time. So, if you want to be among the first to know when we are able to ship more Miracle Fruit, you'll want to join our Priority List! We will send an update as soon as we are able to take care of current customers.

My farm in Fort Lauderdale, Florida is the only farm in the United States able to produce a commercial volume of Miracle Fruit. We add new trees every week. Frankly, we just were not prepared for the incredible interest in Miracle Fruit.
For the past 12 years, I've personally planted and attended to thousands of trees, improving my growing technique in the process.

For those of you located in the New York City area, you will be able to purchase Miracle Fruit at the Garden of Eden Stores (www.edengourmet.com) in Manhattan and New Jersey as soon as the fruit is ready to ship. Join our Priority List, or keep checking out Garden of Eden.

I know you'll enjoy the Miracle Fruit experience.

Thank you for your patience...Curtis

Priority List

Would you like to know when the next crop of Miracle Fruit is ready for shipment? Enter your contact information...

Email:
First Name:
Last:
Mailing Address:
City:
State:
Country:
Postal Code:

Click Arrow to Play.
How Sweet it is!

For several years, I've been cultivating my 'field of dreams.'

The miracle fruit is an amazing wonder of nature, and I'm on a mission to inform people about it's 'magic.'

The Miracle Fruit is native to Ghana, a dynamic country in West Africa. It's a great container plant, if you like to grow your own fruit.

28 May 2008
I was in New York last week where the 'Supreme Commander' hosted a 'Flavor Tripping Party.' I was there because I'm his supplier. The New York Times was there because they thought it would be interesting for their Dining & Wine section.

They posted a video which shows several of the 40+ guests on their website and a detailed story. The response was amazing.

Adam Gollner's new book, The Fruit Hunters was released during the week, as well. Adam did a great job with the book which 'features' the Miracle Fruit. Click on the image to find out more about the book. You can buy a copy on Amazon.

It's called the 'Miracle Fruit' because it can alter the taste of sour items. Miracle Fruit is also easier to say, and spell, than it's official name - synsepalum dulcificum.
Although the plant produces fruit throughout the year, there are occasions when shipping might take more than a week, so only place an order with the understanding that the Miracle Fruit will be shipped upon availability.

The minimum order is 30 of the fresh fruit. Click the 'Buy Miracle Fruit' page for information.

We normally ship via the U.S. Postal Service, however other delivery options are available.

The Miracle Fruit is a bright red, oval-shaped berry approximately 2 to 3 cm long containing a single seed. Click this image for greater detail.

Although not sweet itself, when a single fruit is eaten and the fleshy pulp allowed to coat the taste buds of the tongue and inside of the mouth, an extraordinary effect occurs.

The fruit enables you to eat a slice of lemon or lime without wincing. The marvelous aroma and inherent sweetness of the citrus remains but the sourness is almost completely covered. The effect remains for approximately 30 minutes, or more.

Miracle Fruits Exchange Inc. is an American-owned and operated farm supplying retail customers. I am the owner and grower. I have been involved in the growth and development of the Miracle Fruit for more than a decade.

Buy with confidence and the security of PayPal.

Our primary objective is to tell the world about the wonders of this miraculous discovery. We strive to provide quality service and products.

bacon bandages for dad

2008-06-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

Looking for gifts for the Dad that has everything?

BACON BANDAGES As seen in Every Day with Rachel Ray! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a designer bandage. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Includes a small toy to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no timeThe 3" x 1" Bacon Strips are cut to look like small slabs of bacon. If you love these... don't miss our Gummy Bacon!15 bandages per tin.
Other styles:

http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1224

FUNNY CHURCH BULLETINS

2008-05-28T19:32:00.000-05:00

The following announcements appeared in various church bulletins

1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."

9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

16. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

17. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

18. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

19. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

20. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

21. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

22. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

24. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

26. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

27. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

28. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

29. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

30. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

31. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

32. Evening massage - 6 p.m.

33. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

34. Ushers will eat latecomers.

35. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

36. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

37. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

38. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

39. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

40. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

41. The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

42. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

43. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

44. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

45. Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

46. (During the minister's illness) GOD IS GOOD.
Dr. Hargreaves is better.

47. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

48. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

50. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

51. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

52. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

53. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

54. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

55. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

56. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

57. The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

58. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

59. Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

60. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

61. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

62. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

63. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

64. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir

Paranoia

2008-05-28T14:54:00.002-05:00

Ok, I want to stop the rumor that's been circulating that I'm paranoid. I know you think I'm paranoid. But I'm not. You know who really thinks I'm paranoid? Well of course you know but I'll tell you since you are acting like you don't know. The people that the government has following me. They are the paranoid ones! Whenever I approach them and say, "I know you are following me", they always look at me like I'm crazy. I just giggle, "Nice try but I'm not paranoid, YOU'RE paranoid". Then they usually just go back to acting like they are breast-feeding their baby.

Laura also thinks I'm paranoid. How did the government get to her?

Occasionally she'll say, "No one is following you". I always think, "Is that what they told you to say?" Then she'll stare at me, probably cause they turned her into a robot or something.

Let's be honest here. Some things just don't add up. Why do you think your computer really is running so slow? Has anyone ever really bought a Soloflex? Why do Greek salads have un-pitted olives in it? Why do you think there is a golf channel? Huh? Huh? Everyone knows using Google makes your ears grow. Think about it, the government knew who was gonna win American Idol a long time ago. It's so obvious.

There is another reason why I'm not paranoid but I can't remember it probably 'cause part of my memory was erased during my last alien abduction. The aliens also falsely believed I was paranoid. But I'm not surprised because it's so obvious that the aliens work for the government. All I really remember about the aliens is that they were green, ate Bounce dryer sheets and were so paranoid.

I'm just glad I'm not paranoid like those aliens I'm friends with now.

Moon

The Fist Bump

2008-05-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

THE FIST BUMP

1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.

2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.
Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.

3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless
Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.

4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you.
Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.

5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re
watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then
you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.

6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.

7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.

8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.

9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper
is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not
going to help anything.

10. Do not fist bump yourself.

7 misuses of texting

2008-05-20T13:08:00.001-05:00

For those of you who use text messaging as a form of communication with someone you're dating, whether you have a BlackBerry or an Apple iPhone, text messaging is the most abused and misinterpreted form of communication out there.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.

8 ways to affair proof your marriage

2008-05-20T13:07:00.000-05:00

1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
No marriage can give you everything.
No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.
5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.
6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. But, it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.
7. Be Nice and Listen: "Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."
8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill: Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him. You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband? Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past. Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood

6 gas saving myths

2008-05-20T13:05:00.001-05:00

6 gas-saving myths
Sure you want to save gas, but there's a lot of bad advice on how to do it. Some of it makes no difference, and some of it can wind up costing you.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- With gasoline prices hitting record levels, it seems everyone has a tip on how to save fuel. Much of the advice is well-intentioned, but in the end, much of it won't lower your gas bill.

Here's a look at a few misconceptions:

#1. Fill your tank in the morning
You may have heard that it's best to fill your gas tank in the early morning while the fuel is cold. The theory goes that fluids are more dense at lower temperatures, so a gallon of cold gas actually has more gas molecules than a gallon of warmer gas.

But the temperature of the gasoline as it comes out of the nozzle varies little during the course of the day, according to Consumer Reports, so there's little, if any, benefit, to getting up early to pump gas.

#2. Change your air filter
Maintaining your car is important, but a clean air filter isn't going to save you any gas. Modern engines have computer sensors that automatically adjust the fuel-air mixture as an increasingly clogged air filter chokes off the engine's air supply.

While engine power will decrease slightly as the air filter becomes clogged, a lack of performance or an increase in fuel consumption will be negligible, Consumer Reports says.

#3. Use premium fuel
With prices already over $4.00 a gallon, premium gasoline is a hard sell these days. But a lot of drivers think because their owners' manual recommends premium, they'll get better fuel economy with it. Really, they may be paying more money for nothing.

Newer cars for which premium is "recommended" - but not "required" - won't suffer with regular fuel. Modern engine technology comes to the rescue again. When sensors detect regular instead of premium fuel, the system automatically adjusts spark plug timing. The result is a slight reduction in peak horsepower - really, you'll never notice - but little or no reduction in fuel economy.

Always check your owner's manual before putting anything into your car. And if your car runs badly on regular, by all means, go back to the pricey stuff. (See editor's note at bottom)

#4. Pump up your tires
Proper tire inflation is important for a number of reasons. Under-inflated tires are bad for handling and can even cause a crash. Improper tire inflation also causes tires to wear out faster and to heat up more, which could trigger a dangerous high-speed blow-out.

According to on-the-road driving tests by both Consumer Reports and auto information site Edmunds.com, underinflated tires reduce fuel economy, so proper inflation is key.

But you should never over-inflate your tires. They'll get you slightly better fuel economy because there will be less tread touching the road, reducing friction. But that means less grip for braking and turning. The added risk of a crash isn't worth the extra mile a gallon you might gain.

#5. To A/C or not A/C
There's no question air-conditioning makes extra work for the engine, increasing fuel use. But car air conditioners are much more efficient today than they used to be. In around-town driving, using the A/C will drop fuel economy by about a mile a gallon.

Meanwhile, driving at higher speeds with the windows down greatly increases aerodynamic drag. As speed increases, drag becomes more of an issue, making A/C use the more efficient choice at high speeds.

At most speeds and in most vehicles, A/C use drains slightly more fuel than driving with the windows down, contends David Champion, head of auto testing for Consumer Reports. "My final take on is that it's very close," says Phil Reed, consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com. "It's hard to measure the difference and every vehicle is different."

The best choice - if temperature and humidity allow - is to keep the windows rolled up and to turn the A/C compressor off. You can keep the fans running to blow in air from the outside, but your car will be as aerodynamic as possible while still letting you breathe. You will save gas, but the fuel economy improvement will be slight.

#6. Bolt-ons and pour-ins
Before you buy a device that's supposed to make your car more fuel-efficient or pour in an allegedly gas-saving additive, ask yourself this: Don't you think oil and car companies aren't doing everything they can to beat their competitors?

If BP (BP) could add something to its gasoline that made cars go farther on a gallon, cars would be lining up at the company's pumps. Sure, people would burn their fuel-saving BP gas more slowly, but then they'd drive right past rivals' gas stations to come back to BP for more. BP stations could even charge more for their gas and still sell tons of the stuff.

So if there really was an additive that made gas burn up more slowly, it wouldn't be sold over the Internet one bottle at a time.

Likewise, car companies are already spending big bucks to increase fuel mileage. If General Motors could make its cars go significantly farther on a gallon simply by putting a device into the fuel line, don't think for a second it wouldn't be doing that. GM's car sales would go through the roof.

"There are a number of these gas-saving devices that are generally useless," says Champion.

But drivers who try them will swear they work. In reality, it's probably an automotive placebo effect, says Reed. Buy one of these devices or additives, and you're like to pay extreme attention to your fuel economy and how you drive.

Fill your grocery cart without busting your budget

2008-05-20T13:02:00.000-05:00

(MSNBC) Food prices are soaring. Find out how to save without sacrificing nutrition.

The weekly trip to the grocery store is getting more expensive and there’s no relief in sight, experts say. Many shoppers are wondering how to save on their food bills, without sacrificing nutrition.
There are some strategies you can follow to help avoid grocery sticker shock, says Phil Lempert, TODAY food editor. Here's what he suggests:

List it:
Shopping with a list can save you 10 percent on unnecessary items like junk food.

Buy in bulk:
But don’t buy more than you’ll use. Waste is costly too.

Simpler is better:
The more processed the food, the more it costs—and, generally, the less healthy it is.

Dodge impulse traps:
Stores are set up to spur impulse buying. Focus on staples such as milk, eggs, bread and canned or frozen veggies and avoid tempting cookies and cakes in the deli section.

Use coupons:
Store discount programs and supercenters such as Wal-mart and Costco can also help generate significant savings. By being flexible and planning meals around what’s on sale, you can lower your grocery bills. “To save money, you need to switch brands and types of foods,” substituting less expensive meats or fish, and trading beans and eggs for meat, says Phil Lempert.
--------------------------------------
Milk

Buy store brands
Milk’s price has climbed 13 percent in the past year, according to the USDA, so it’s worth saving as much as a dollar on a store-brand gallon. Even at 25 cents a cup, milk is loaded with calcium, magnesium and Vitamin D so it's still a pretty good deal. As always, choose 1 percent or skim milk, which is the same price as whole milk and healthier for your heart.

Try powdered or evaporated
To lower the cost and retain the nutritional value, consider powdered versions. If you don’t like the taste, add the reconstituted milk to mashed potatoes, soups or casseroles.

Rather than cutting back on healthy staples, click on the items at the left to learn how to get the most nutrition bang for your grocery buck.
----------------------------------------
Eggs

Go for bulk
A dozen eggs costs 75 cents more than it did two years ago, so seek sales and buy eggs in economical 18- or 24-packs if you’re planning to use a lot of them. Even if you don't finish them quickly, eggs are still good for up to a month after the expiration date. Be aware that while organic eggs have the same levels of cholesterol and nutrition as regular eggs, they can cost up to twice as much.

Not just for breakfast
At an estimated 20 cents a serving, eggs make for a much cheaper source of protein than meat. Substitute frittatas, omelets and other such egg-based foods for meat at main meals. There’s controversy over how many eggs a week can be eaten safely, but nutrition experts say an egg a day can be part of a heart-healthy diet. If you're watching your cholesterol, avoid the yolk and just use the whites.
-----------------------------------------
Pasta

Buy Italian
Brands from Italy such as Torino and La Molisana are often cheaper because the Italian government subsidizes pasta, and they’re just as healthy as domestic brands.

Stay dry
Fresh pasta can cost twice as much and is no better nutritionally than the good quality dried varieties.

Make your own sauce
Buy a can of crushed tomatoes, then add herbs and a little olive oil. You’ll have a quick-and-easy sauce that’s half the price of prepared brands and lower in calories because it isn’t sweetened with heavy corn syrup.
-----------------------------------------
Bread

Buy second day
With a 15 percent price hike in the past year and a short shelf life, bread is no bargain. But stores want it sold before it spoils, so try to time your purchase with clearance price-slashing. You can stock up and freeze it for later use.

Change it up
Whole wheat bread’s fiber and grains make it the choice of nutritionists, but it can cost up to a dollar more than white bread. If the cost is a problem, consider alternating whole wheat with white bread that is enriched with folic acid.
------------------------------------------
Cereal

Go basic
Pick old fashioned oatmeal or cornflakes over fancy commercial cereals. Oatmeal typically contains fewer additives, can help lower bad cholesterol and is less expensive per pound than higher-priced cereals.

Choose store brands
You’ll save around a dollar a box and get the same nutritional value as a more expensive brand.

------------------------------------------
Rice

Choose raw
You’ll get more for your money than with precooked brands such as instant rice.

Buy brown
Though it costs about 25 percent more, brown beats white for its valuable fiber and fatty acids. Brown rice will turn rancid over time, so refrigerate it for storage up to six months. By purchasing brown rice in bulk and refrigerating it, you can save significantly.

Try barley
If rice prices have skyrocketed in your area, consider dry barley. It's packed with even more nutrients than brown rice and is about 40 percent cheaper. Use it like rice in soups or casseroles. Toss it into a salad with tomatoes and almonds.

-------------------------------------------
Produce

Be seasonal
Produce is the most flavorful and economical when it is in season. In the summer, corn, peaches and plums are most plentiful, so that’s when they’re cheapest — and also at their most fresh and nutritious. For a guide to what’s in season throughout the year, visit the Produce for Better Health Foundation Web site. Click here for the seasonal list.

Choose locally grown
In general, produce grown closer to you will cost less and be fresher because it has traveled less. The same isn’t true for organic produce though; it’ll cost up to twice as much no matter where it’s grown.

Think frozen
Frozen produce is preserved at its nutritional peak, yet sells for a quarter of what it costs fresh. So stock up on frozen to save money and reap nutritional benefits.

Pick canned
Canning also preserves nutrition and cuts costs — just beware of fruits packed in heavy syrup or veggies soaked in sodium. Look for reduced sugar or salt options, or drain and rinse items before serving.

----------------------------------------------
Fish

Don’t be a fish snob
Lower-end fish like catfish and mullet can offer cost savings over the likes of grouper or salmon — without sacrificing nutrients.

Fresh isn’t all that
Once caught, all fish is iced. So fish on the frozen aisle is really fresher and cheaper than what the store thaws and peddles as fresh.

Pick canned
Canned tuna or herring is cheaper than fresh or frozen and equally packed with healthy omega-3s. Varieties canned in water are lower in fat and calories than those packed in oil.
----------------------------------------------
Meat

Buy whole and store
Skin and de-bone a whole chicken to save between $1.50 and $4 a pound. Or buy 10 chicken breasts and freeze them in individual bags, but use them within a year before freezer burn sets in.

Rethink your cut
With beef, for example, downgrade from tenderloin and rib-eye cuts to chuck or shanks, a good choice because it’s lean. Less expensive cuts should be cooked longer to maximize tenderness.

Marinate it
Tenderize and add flavor to your less expensive cuts by soaking them in marinade. But skip sugary store-bought marinades and make your own with vinegar and tomato for more tender, healthful meat.

Stretch it
Make your meat go further by slicing it into stews or salads. That way you get your veggies too.
------------------------------------------------
Beans

Boost your intake
Whether canned or dried, beans pack valuable protein, fiber, folate and iron for a cost effective $1 per 16-ounce can or bag, often much less when on sale. They’re a healthy substitution for, or addition to, meat in any hot dish or salad.

Save time
If you don’t have time to soak dried beans overnight and then cook them for an hour or more, canned varieties are as nutritious and take only minutes to heat. Black beans or lentils can be added to pasta sauces, soups and casseroles for an affordable, nutritious meal. Chickpeas add low-fat protein to green salads.

2008-05-13T20:39:00.001-05:00

Moon's Dating service..Knock knock, who's there? Peas!

2008-05-13T20:05:00.000-05:00

You gotta see this to believe!!!!

2008-05-12T21:33:00.000-05:00

Most Amazing Useless Talent Ever Man can swallow and regurgitate anything.

Mom thru the ages

2008-05-08T08:05:00.000-05:00

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mummy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Let's go down the hallway and ask Mum what she thinks.

55 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mum

save $100 a month!

2008-05-06T08:14:00.001-05:00

1. Stop smoking!
At $4.00 a pack, and a pack a day, if you stop smoking today,
that's $120.00 a month you've saved, not to mention the midnight
runs to the convenience store to get a pack of cigs.

2. Stop buying coffee at the coffee shop.
At $5.00 a cup, plus how much is that brownie you got to eat with
your coffee? That's $150.00 a month. Saved! Ka-ching, Ka-ching.
You're doing it!

3. Make all errands in one trip.
Stop doing all those extra trips to town. You can probably save half
a tank of gas, if not more each month just by cutting the extra trips
to town. Get groceries on the way home from work! You can do it, just
plan better.

4. Shut off the cable.
There are so many things you can do in the evening that don't have
anything to do with television. Perhaps a walk, play with the kids,
walk through parking lots looking for dropped coins. Try baking
cookies for snacks instead of buying them.

5. Eat at home.

Single girl things to do before marriage

2008-05-06T05:20:00.001-05:00

- SINGLE GIRL THINGS TO DO BEFORE MARRIAGE (Cosmopolitan)

· Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing
abs. So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The
joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate
reason to go out with him.

· Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one
from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.

· Embrace feminine decor. Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink --
that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place -- but stock up
on stuff that appeals to your girlie side.

· Take advantage of the whole bed. You have the rest of your life to
stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man.

· Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or
heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.

· Learn how to change a tire and work a drill. It's easy to relegate
all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his
help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix
something yourself.

· Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet. Once it's there, he'll have to accept it and they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up.

· Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together
with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social
life.

· Get a grip on your dough. Sign up for a retirement plan and invest
extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash
flow before merging moola with your guy.

· Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible. The
reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity
will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last
meal that'll be his treat.

· Want a cat? Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you
in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up
being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.

· If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda,
buy a cone and pop a Coke. When you and The Mister mangia together all
the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre - but oh
-so-satisfying - cravings.

· Use tons of hot water in the a.m.

· Take your celeb crush to the max. Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling
in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of
him.

· Plan your fantasy wedding. Now's the time to let your imagination
roam - rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues,
and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out
if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.

· Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status
can't disturb. Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether
it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a
superrelaxing massage.

· Set up your home in a way that fits your needs. Maybe keeping the
coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost
while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have
to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement,
customize.

Healthy breakfast cereals that aren't

2008-05-05T19:30:00.000-05:00

Healthy breakfast cereals that aren't. One of my faves (Basic 4) has
TRANS FAT!!! What are bad, and what to eat instead:
http://body.aol.com/diet/basics/healthy-breakfast-cereal?icid=1
00214839x1201004233x1200037803

Why R U still single?

2008-05-05T11:55:00.001-05:00

Why are you still single? Maybe because you...

Have written poetry inside a Starbucks.

Hug amusement park mascots.

Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers.

Sleep on WWF sheets

Posed shirtless for your MySpace page.

Have a 'lucky' garter hanging from your rearview mirror.

Call October Rocktober.

Keep a dream journal

Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed.

Have taken a course on improving your oral sex technique.

Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros.

Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates.

Phone in long distance radio dedications.

Believe the mouth is self cleaning.

6 fat melting food swaps

2008-05-05T11:53:00.001-05:00

6 Fat-Melting Food Swaps

Not all burgers are created equal. That's important, especially when you consider that the average American will consume 100 of them this year.
Take, for example, America's two most famous burgers: the Whopper with Cheese and the Big Mac. A fair fight, right? Well, if you go for the Arch alternative, you'll save 220 calories over the BK Behemoth. (A Big Mac has 540 calories and 29 grams of fat, compared to the Whopper's 760 calories and 47 grams of fat!)
Use that strategy for every burger you eat in 2008, and you'll save 22,000 calories - the equivalent of almost six pounds of body fat. You don't have to (nor should you) live on Big Macs; pick an even leaner burger and save even more.
See, the way you pick your favorite fixes - from burgers to banana splits - could help you make the transition from chubby to chiseled. In researching our new book Eat This, Not That!, we found that the most effective weight-loss strategy doesn't require you to abandon the foods you love, but simply to make better choices when selecting them.
Supplement that approach with plenty of fresh produce and lean protein throughout the week, and you'll trade failed diets and wild weight fluctuations for healthy eating patterns and a lean, new you. And once you learn how it's done, you can stay that way forever. Who wouldn't make that swap?

Pizza
Eat This:
2 slices Domino's large cheese pizza with crunchy thin crust
360 calories
19 g fat

Not That!
2 slices Pizza Hut large cheese pizza with thin 'n cripsy crust
560 calories
24 g fat

Save 200 calories and 5 grams of fat!

In the world of mass-produced pizza, nothing beats Domino's crunchy thin-crust pie. Eat pizza just once a week, and you'll save more than 10,000 calories this year - which is a nice down payment on a smaller waist size.

Turkey Sandwich
Eat This:
Subway 6-inch Turkey Sub with provolone cheese
330 calories
8.5 g fat

Not That!
Panera Bread Sierra Turkey
840 calories
40 g fat

Save 510 calories and 31.5 grams of fat!

Don't sweat the meat in the sandwich: turkey, roast beef, and ham are all lean cuts. But Panera slathers its turkey with a thick layer of chipotle mayo and slides it into a heavy, oily wedge of focaccia, so that turkey is a porker. A Subway 6-incher not enough to quell your raging lunchtime hunger? Double up on meat for just 50 calories more.
Cinnamon Roll
Eat This:
Au Bon Pain Cinnamon Roll
350 calories
21 g sugars
12 g fat

Not That!
Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll
813 calories
55 g sugars
32 g fat

Save 463 calories, 34 grams of sugars, and 20 grams of fat!

OK, there's absolutely no nutritional value in a cinnamon roll. We said it. But when you just have to have one, take comfort in knowing that Au Bon Pain's restrained rendition more than halves the calories, sugar, and fat found in the Cinnabon catastrophe.
Beer
Drink This:
Guinness Draught
125 calories
10 g carbohydrates

Not That!
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
175 calories
15 g carbohydrates

Save 50 calories a beer!

Surprised? Most people think of Guinness as a beer milkshake: dark, thick, and rich enough to inspire guilt at first sip. But switch out a six-pack a week and you've just saved yourself more than four pounds this year. Extend those savings even further with Beck's Premier Light: At 64 calories a bottle, it doesn't get any lighter than this.

Doughnut
Eat This:
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut
230 calories
10 g fat
12 g sugars

Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Cake Donut
330 calories
18 g fat
18 g sugars

Save 100 calories and 8 grams of fat!

Both are cloaked in sugar, but their original doughnuts are light and airy because they're made with yeast, and cake donuts are heavy and dense because they're made with cake batter. Remember: Cake is not a breakfast food.

Fruit Smoothie
Eat This:
Jamba Juice Power Mega Mango Smoothie
420 calories
97 g sugars

Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Large Tropical Fruit Smoothie
720 calories
142 g sugars

Save 300 calories and 45 grams of sugars!

This sickeningly sweet concoction from Dunkin' has an ingredient list straight out of a chem lab and more sugar than seven Häagen-Dazs vanilla-and-almond ice-cream bars. So this tropical excursion will be bad for your equator. The Jamba version is 100 percent fruit, so there's a huge caloric discount and big antioxidant payload.
For nine more shocking swaps that will help you save big this year, click here.
And sign up now for the FREE Eat This, Not That newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox each week!
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How you know If your job is Jeopardy

2008-04-22T19:41:00.003-05:00

If you're worried that the daily dose of bad news about the economy could impact your next paycheck, you're not alone.
More than 2 of 3 respondents to a recent Yahoo! poll believe their job is in jeopardy due to the current economic slowdown.
While you never can be completely prepared to lose your livelihood, there are certain signs that may indicate that your job could be at risk.
Your Performance Assessment
First, ask yourself some tough questions about your role at work, recommends business coach and author Mary Key. Your answers will provide good indicators.
The questions include: What would be the impact of your departure? What kind of ROI (return on investment) is your employer getting from your performance? Have you gotten positive reviews? Do you get along with coworkers? Can your skills translate to other positions within the firm?
"If you are unsure of the answers to these questions, or if you have some responses that might be negative, your job may be on the chopping block in a downturn," says Key, who heads the leadership practice for i4cp www.i4cp.com, The Institute for Corporate Productivity, in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Time's Not on Your Side
Having extra time for two-hour lunches, marathon computer games, and multiple instant-message chats with loved ones doesn't bode well for a long future in your current position.
"If you were once a busy professional and now work is being taken away and given to someone else, or you're not being assigned new work, you should start asking some questions," says life and career coach Annemarie Segaric.
Where Have All the Clients Gone?
If the new business team seems to be spinning its wheels, as major clients jump ship and they are not replaced, your job could be on the hit list.
"There is only so long that your boss can be giving you busy work," says Roberta Chinsky Matuson, president of Northampton, Massachusetts-based Human Resource Solutions. "Eventually, his boss will catch on, and it will be time to go."
Experienced Workers Need Not Apply
Warning: Your company starts posting openings for entry-level workers, without announcing new initiatives or experiencing a mass exodus of employees.
"This is a clear sign that they are trying to cut payroll costs by hiring less experienced people," Matuson says. "It won't be long before you receive the pink slip."
The Risk of Mergers
If bad times drive your company to merge with a rival, start polishing your resume, advises Kevin Steele, president of The Winter, Wyman Companies.
"In almost all cases, there are many employees whose job responsibilities are duplicated by someone at the acquiring company, and, in an effort to cut costs and maximize ROI, the acquiring company will usually move quickly to eliminate the overlap," Steele says.
Friends in Similar Places
When friends or others you know who have equivalent jobs in the same or a related industry begin to suffer layoffs, know that you could be next.
"Layoffs happen in waves," says Segaric, author of "107 Tips for Changing Your Career While Still Paying the Bills." "What goes on in other companies can be used as a barometer for what is happening in the industry as a whole."

7 ways to minimize stress

2008-04-22T19:39:00.000-05:00

Inner Peace on the Job: 7 Ways to Minimize Stress
Although it is not possible to eliminate stress completely, there are some things we can do to reduce it. Here are effective ways to reduce stress in your day.

1. Slow down and be in the present. It is natural to believe that the harder you work, the more you will get done. However, though it may seem paradoxical, if you work at a slow and steady pace with full awareness, you will most likely turn out better work with fewer mistakes - and feel better while doing it!

2. Set boundaries. Are you the go-to person for every favor and question that is needed in your workplace? Learn to respectfully set your boundaries and say no. Also, take a look at your calendar and make sure you are not over-scheduling yourself after work. Write in one night a week for yourself, and treat yourself to a tai chi or meditation class, a bath, or just an evening curled up with a good book.

3. Remember to breathe deeply all day. Most people who are under a lot of stress or tension breathe shallowly, up in the throat area. When you breathe deeply into your lungs, you are naturally bringing in more oxygen and activating energy in your body.
Try this to remember to breathe: set your intention to take 10 deep breaths once every hour. (If necessary, set a timer to help you remember.) It will only take a minute, but the rewards will be tenfold.

4. Bring nature inside. As much as possible, let natural light and fresh air permeate your workspace. Surround yourself with the inspiring colors of beautiful flowers, which have a powerful influence on a person's mind-set. A beautiful bouquet can lift a less-than-lovely mood and even eliminate stress. In fact, one study showed that people who sat next to an arrangement of colorful flowers were able to relax more during a five-minute typing assignment than those who sat near foliage-only plants.

5. Give yourself a time-out. Take the breaks that are given to you. In this high-paced world, people often work through their breaks, claiming they have too much work to do - this will lead to serious repercussions in the future.
Remember that you are a human, not a machine. Even a machine needs downtime for maintenance! Try taking a 15-minute powernap on your lunch break. If you only have five minutes to spare, just close your eyes. Even this brief rest can reduce stress and help you relax.

6. Meditation brings relaxation. Meditation gives your body a rest and produces slower brain waves that are similar to sleep, effectively combating tension. Regular practice of meditation, tai chi, or yoga can help you slow down and bring peace, not only in your job, but also in your life. To learn more about how to use meditation to decrease stress, click here.

7. Perk up naturally!
Skip the second latte, which stimulates your central nervous system, makes your mind race, and adds to your stress. Instead, try these simple and natural pick-me-ups:
• Take a tea break. Instead of coffee, go for teas that gently boost your energy, such as ginseng, eucalyptus, or ginger.
• Find ways to keep moving all day. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Drink a glass of water from the water cooler every hour. Park your car a few blocks away from where you're going. Not only will this perk up your energy, it will also improve your mood.

• If it's a nice day outside, eat lunch outdoors or just take a walk around the block. The fresh air and the break from routine will be an invigorating addition to your workday.
• Get sustainable energy with snacks. Eat a snack at mid-morning and another one at mid-afternoon consisting of nuts, seeds, fruits, or protein-rich foods like humus made from beans will help you sustain your energy and prevent low blood sugar from setting in.

I hope you find the ways to minimize stress in your work environment! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

Daddy's Rules for dating!

2008-04-22T19:37:00.001-05:00

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) :

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a stron g romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

application to date my daughter

2008-04-22T19:36:00.000-05:00

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER :

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have b een married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:&nbs p;

In a minimum of at least 50 words, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In a minimum of at least 50 words, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In a minimum of at least 50 words , what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________ ;

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ___ _____________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

Tips to help save the Environment

2008-04-22T19:35:00.000-05:00

Technology is a HUGE part of our daily lives. We carry around cell phones and media players, work all day on a computer and come home to watch television.
But electronic devices make up 70 percent of the toxic waste in our landfills. Here’s eight ways to make sure your need for information doesn’t compromise the environment.
1. E-cycle
Keep your electronics out of landfills at all cost. If they still work, donate them to a second-hand store for reuse. If not, use Earth 911’s recycling locator to find a place to recycle them. It could be a community event, a retail store or even a manufacturer take back program. All of these are better than your trash can.
2. Provide a Second Life for Electronics
Recycling electronics is important, but only if they no longer work. Consider options that will reuse this technology again and keep it out of the waste stream.
Trade in video games and movies for credit at stores that sell these items
Donate your televisions and computer monitors to Goodwill; you can find second-hand store locations using Earth 911’s recycling locator
Offer your old cell phone to a service provider so it can be refurbished
3. Reach for the Energy Stars
Electronics use up a lot of energy. ENERGY STAR products can cut energy use by 50 percent. If you’re shopping for new electronics, check for an ENERGY STAR label. This covers computers and monitors, televisions and even battery chargers.
Some other energy-related notes for when you’re purchasing:
Notebook computers use less energy than desktops
LCD TVs use less energy than plasma TVs
4. Use Rechargeable Batteries
You already charge batteries for cell phones and laptops. So why are you buying disposable AA and AAA batteries for other products? Rechargeable batteries last up to three years longer, and are accepted by more recyclers than other batteries.
5. Power Down Inactive Electronics
Why keep your TV on when no one is in the room? Booting up a computer may take a few minutes, but at the very least turn off the monitor when it’s not used. Also, unplug chargers that aren’t in use. They still use energy even if they aren’t charging anything.
6. Lay Off the Heavy Metal
Deep inside our electronic devices lie potentially hazardous materials like lead and mercury. These metals are not only a health hazard to you, but make proper disposal of electronics a necessity for the environment. Manufacturers are beginning to respond to this by producing devices with less/no hazardous materials, so look for these in the future.
7. Be Responsible With Packaging
Electronics are fragile, so they come with lots of packaging. Whether it’s cardboard boxes, Styrofoam or plastic bags, all this material should be recycled. Cardboard can be recycled with your paper, and all plastic should have a number on it (e.g. Styrofoam is #6) used for recycling. Use Earth 911’s recycling locator to find out where you can recycle all your packaging.
8. Spring for the Warranty
Warranties allow for your electronics to be fixed instead of replaced, meaning they stay out of the waste stream. They also encourage you to keep products for longer, which is better for the environment.
If you are looking for new electronics, consider an upgrade instead of a new purchase.
Use the same case for your computer, with a new motherboard and more RAM
Get a digital converter to modernize the picture of your analog TV
This story is part of Earth 911’s “Green Eight” series, where we showcase eight ways to green your life in various areas. Click here to see Earth 911’s “Green Eight” archive.

Save on GAS!

2008-04-08T09:21:00.002-05:00

SOME GAS SAVING TIPS FROM WWW.MSN.COM

Check Your Air Filter
A clean air filter can improve gas mileage by as much as 10
percent, and nearly one in four cars needs an air filter replacement.
Cost Savings: 28 cents a gallon.

Straighten Up
Poor alignment not only causes tires to wear out more quickly,
but also forces your engine to work harder, which can reduce
fuel economy by as much as 10 percent.
Cost Savings: 28 cents a gallon.

Tune Up
A properly tuned engine can improve mileage by 4 percent.
Cost Savings: 11 cents a gallon.

Pump 'em Up
More than one quarter of vehicles have improperly inflated
tires. The average under-inflation of 7.5 pounds causes a loss
of 2.8 percent in fuel efficiency.
Cost Savings: 8 cents a gallon.

Check Your Cap
It is estimated that nearly 17 percent of cars on the road have
broken or missing gas caps, which not only reduces gas mileage but may harm the environment.
Cost Savings: 2 cents per gallon.

Slow Down
For every 5 mph you reduce highway speed, you can reduce fuel
consumption by 7 percent.
Cost Savings: 19 cents, by reducing speed from 70 mph to 65 mph.

Drive More Smoothly
The more smoothly you accelerate and decelerate, the better your
gas mileage, with potential gas savings of 33 percent on the
highway and 5 percent around town.
Cost Savings: 48 cents a gallon.

Lighten Up
For every 100 extra pounds carried around, your vehicle loses
1 to 2 percent in fuel efficiency.
Cost Savings: 4 cents a gallon, per 100 pounds of weight removed.

THE WONKY DONKY!

2008-04-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

THE WONKY DONKY …

Have fun with your drunk friends! (Try telling this one after a few drinks!)

What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while
breaking wind?
A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while
breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes?
A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while
breaking wind,wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?
A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while
breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a
Bus?
Very talented!

A man's honesty thru Song...Very funny! (rated PG-13 for language)

2008-04-07T09:11:00.002-05:00

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Insane Ballooning stunt

2008-04-06T09:31:00.001-05:00

Insane Ballooning Stunt

Bad places to get dumped

2008-04-04T10:18:00.001-05:00

BAD PLACES TO GET DUMPED
When it comes time to dump your man/woman, where you do it is almost as important as how you do it.
If you make a mistake and call things off in the wrong place, it will be almost impossible to bow out gracefully. At best, you'll be embarrassed. At worst, you could be maimed.
According to AskMen.com, here's a list of some of the worst places to end a relationship:
At your house -- You never want to give them an opportunity to break your things. Also, it eliminates your ability to walk away -- literally. You're stuck. Go to her house, which would allow you to make a run for it when you choose.
On vacation -- A no-brainer. Ruining a trip is just stupid -- and a waste of money. If you're stuck on vacation with asomeone you want to dump, pretend you love them, try to get them to do some kinky stuff in bed, then dump them when you get home.
On a plane -- Again, in this post-911 world, a no-brainer. You don't need a hysterical chick freaking out on you in a 747. There are armed Air Marshals up there in the sky with you. The last thing you want is to get their attention.
In the car -- This is the most dangerous place to dump, especially if he/she wasn't expecting it. You want to kill the relationship -- not yourself.
At a bar -- Dumping omeone while hopped up on booze means you're not bringing your A-game. Nobody needs extra doses of drama -- or a drunken audience.
In a restaurant -- You would think this would be a great place to dump someone. It's face-to-face and reasonably quiet. And, even though they are getting dumped, you'd think they’d be happy to get at least one more free meal out of the relationship. (Double desserts!) The problem is there's no privacy -- and there's the potential for that gawking audience again.
Text - Ditching them with a text, e-mail, Facebook wall post, or over the phone is for boys. Be a man. Show up and dump her in person. Then, and only then, can you walk with pride to the next singles bar to start scamming on new chicks.

how to survive a bad break up

2008-04-04T10:14:00.001-05:00

HOW TO SURVIVE A BREAK UP
So you've been dumped. Here are some tips from Catherine Specter on How To Survive a Breakup:
- Don't Let Yourself Go. Don't get drunk, or pig out on ice cream and pizza. The last thing you need on top of heartache is to feel overly full and ugly. This is the time to eat healthy, take vitamins, and generally be good to yourself.
- Exercise. It's the last thing you want to do when you feel nauseated and teary and alone. But it will pay off big-time.
- Distract Yourself. Make yourself pay bills, read the newspaper, clean the house, do laundry, run errands, see movies, go out to dinner, hang out with friends, whatever distracts you from the pain for a few minutes or hours here and there. If you have trouble falling asleep, read a book in bed rather than watching TV (reading is less passive yet more relaxing, and will have a noticeable effect on your ability to drift off). Take down pictures of your ex. Put their stuff in a box, or moved to one area away from plain view until they come to get it, or until you get rid of it.
- If You Must Rebound, Do It Lightly. The 'rebound relationship' is OK, to a point. Absolutely go out and date, it can be a nice little distraction. But don't put too much effort into it or take it too seriously - not only because you might make bad choices during your heartbreak, but also because someone might fall for you when you're not ready to receive them.
- Get A Little Angry And Don't Feel Guilty About It. When you get dumped by someone you love (or even really like), it's natural to remember them as perfect. This is a great time to recall how rude they were to waiters or how snippy they got after a long, hard day. Were they cheap? Were they a tad too conceited? Were they annoyingly snobby about their taste in food, movies or music? It's alright- it only means you've remembered them for who they were, rather than a fantasy.

Hey Moon...When is My Kicker Check Coming?

2008-03-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

Looking for the Kicker Check the Prez Bush Promised you? Here are the dates to start checking your mail box.

Last Two Digits Of SS Number Check In The Mail

00-20 May 16th
21-25 May 30th
26-38 June 6th
39-51 June 13th
52-63 June 20th
64-75 June 27th
76-87 July 4th
88-99 July 11th

My favorite Comedian Jim Gaffigan talks cake...

2008-03-19T11:08:00.000-05:00

This joke was sent to me from Alex in De Pere

2008-03-18T16:06:00.001-05:00

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg

'Hello?'

Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause,

Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.'

Brief Pause.

'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down
on the table, run upstairs And knock on the bedroom door and shout to
Mommy,That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Daddy.'
'And what happened, honey?' He asked.

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed With no clothes on
and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser And now
she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.

He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window And into the
swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the
water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

Long Pause, Longer Pause, Even Longer Pause

Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? ............

Is this 486-5731?'

No, I think you have the wrong number

Take a moment and see if you can help locate our missing children

2008-03-17T21:33:00.003-05:00

PLEASE Help locate our missing children...click here

To all our men in the Armed Forces...we salute you!

2008-03-17T21:28:00.003-05:00

We are forever greatful....

You'll flip over this video

2008-03-16T18:57:00.001-05:00

http://view.break.com/469591 - Watch more free videos

Avoid being a Victim of an Attack

2008-03-04T15:10:00.002-06:00

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on
what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting
facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is
hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail,
bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are
also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are
not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women
who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors
around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone searching through their
purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard
and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between
5: 00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store
parking lots. Number two: office parking lots/garages. Number three:
public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman
and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry
about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year
sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going
after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or
other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the
attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these
guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is
following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an
elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question,
like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it
is so cold out here," "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their
face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
Of course, in some cases this might make them more determined to get you.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of
you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to
said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it
and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and
holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you
can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from
behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow
and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman
in a class this guy taught told him she
used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her
and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle
strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those
places as hard as you
can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a
particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts
it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy
and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two
fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure
pushing down on them as possible .The instructor did it to me without
using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles
cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware
of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see
any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse
if the guy really was trouble.

1 Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your
body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber
asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it
away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your
wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the
back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving
like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc.., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching
you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the
passenger side and put a gun to your head, and tell you where to
go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE
OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed
into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If
the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As
soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having
them find your body in a remote location.

5 A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or
parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger
side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat
nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or
work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid
than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells
are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This
is especially true at NIGHT!)

Brett's voicemail

2008-03-04T15:07:00.001-06:00

The bread tie…what does it mean?

2008-03-04T08:29:00.002-06:00

Thought this was interesting... Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. And each day has a different color twist tie. They are:
Monday - Blue
Tuesday - Green
Thursday - Red
Friday - White
Saturday - Yellow
I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers do have different colored twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday!!
So today being Thursday, I wanted a red twist tie - not white which is Friday (almost a week old?)
The colors go alphabetically Blue - Green - Red - White -Yellow, Monday thru Saturday. Very easy to remember. But I put a post-it note in my wallet when I first found out about this so I would not forget. Enjoy fresh bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

61 things a guy wants to know, but is afraid to ask for

2008-02-25T18:05:00.003-06:00

"61 things a girl wants but wont ask for"
Body:
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
5. Kiss her slowly.Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say I love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know
26. DON'T lie to her
27. DON'T cheat on her!
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT
31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Don’t EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she’s upset, comfort herREMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT
36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle
39. When walking next to each other lightly touch her HAND and softly grab it.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possibleMAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her.
46. Rub her back--feels good
47. Give her your coat if she's cold--that’s always cute :)
48. Write letters on her back with your finger
49. Let her sit on your lap
50. DON'T poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.
51. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC
.52. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she's BEAUTIFUL
53. Keep conversations flowing...talk about anything usually they just go along with it.
54. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionately and gently.
55. Surprisingly sneak up on her and hug her from behind--loves it.
56. Kiss her in the rain.
57. Watch the notebook with her
58. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her.
59. Slow dance with no music
60. Don't ignore her or be nervous around her--everything’s going to be okay
61. When she comes running to you, with tears down her face, the first thing you should say is "Whose Ass Am I Kickin Babe!"- she will then feel protected.

all that...and guys want one thing...hmmmm what could that be?

BEST RED CARPET MOMENT AT THE OSCARS

2008-02-25T17:54:00.003-06:00

CLICK HERE FOR THE BEST RED CARPET MOMENT...
Gary Busey , Ryan Seacrest, and Jennifer Garner

http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=4788c37e-41e9-4f09-8470-18b5bc5d6d6d

Laura, BRAD, and me!

2008-02-25T17:49:00.002-06:00

LAURA, BRAD, AND ME hangin' backstage after the show!

My Dribble is Red!

2008-02-24T16:08:00.003-06:00

I just wanted to let everyone who called with concern on my raw "dripple" (after the duck tape was taken off) it is beat red but fine. I did lose small amounts of blood while doing this stunt, and i have set up an appointment to seek psychiatric help on why I thought this would be a good idea. lol
If it was memorable and it made you laugh, then it was all worth it. Pass the word!!!!!

Competition beware...We are here to stay, and we are taking names. Become a loyal listener and be a part of the "MOON Nation"!

Spotting you @ Brad Paisley

2008-02-24T15:52:00.003-06:00

The Brad Paisley concert was a KICK in the butt, and congrats to all of you who got spotted holding up our Yellow "KICKS 104.9 Loves Brad signs, We had 6 spotters running all over the arena trying real hard to get everyone...You are now invited to our Birthday party March 14th @ Purcells for a chance at a flyaway for two to Vegas for the CMA's...Hotel, airfare and tickets could be yours!
If you didn't get spotted, but held our LOGO loud and proud, we are still Qualifying people Weekdays @ 9a-2p-4p

Overall, It was a great turn out. Even though someone cried to the Resch center and had us shut down for handing out our signs. I will take the higher road and not mention who...but I'm sure we all know.

A special thanks to our BUD girls who tried especially hard to get our signs in the hands of BRAD!

We love you all..and thanks for listening to the new
MOON IN THE MORNING SHOW Mon-Fri 5-9am.....

stay tuned for our Carrie Underwood contest for tickets!!!!

Phone topics...Email with your two cents worth!

2008-02-20T11:58:00.004-06:00

PHONE TOPICS:

Wed 2.20.08...
WHAT WAS THE ODDEST THING EVER STOLEN FROM YOU?
mooninthemorning104@yahoo.com

Tues 2.19.08...
FAVORITE FOOD MIXES...Laura can't stand Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches...but can eat them seperately. Very Odd! I personally still have memories of my Mom mixing Hot dogs and Eggs together...Yum!
mooninthemorning1049@yahoo.com

LEANN CAUGHT PICKIN' AND GRININ'

2008-02-20T11:53:00.004-06:00

We all have done it...But we just try not to get caught at it. Poor Leann...It looks like a doosy!

YOU ARE PRICELESS...$20.00

2008-02-13T10:21:00.002-06:00

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter
what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special. Don't EVER forget it."

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

Super Friends meet Friends

2008-02-12T18:27:00.000-06:00

FUNNY PETS

2008-02-12T18:21:00.000-06:00

dramatic chipmunks

2008-02-07T18:40:00.000-06:00

SO HOW HIGH MAINTENANCE ARE YOU?

2008-02-06T12:29:00.000-06:00

1. You never leave the house without:
a. a face full of makeup.
b. some lipstick and mascara.
c. a clean face.

2. Your closet:
a. should be photographed for a magazine.
b. is due for its seasonal cleanout.
c. still holds your cat suit.

3. On a rare day off, you:
a. schedule an appointment with your dermatologist, hair colorist, manicurist or personal shopper.
b. meet a friend at the mall.
c. sleep.

4. If you could be locked in a store all night, you would want it to be:
a. Neiman Marcus.
b. Sephora.
c. Williams-Sonoma.

5. If you can't read the tiny type on the back of the tube of self-tanner, you:
a. slip on a pair of cool readers.
b. grab your drugstore readers.
c. squint and hope for the best.

6. You wash your face with:
a. whatever your dermatologist prescribes.
b. a prestige brand cleanser.
c. whatever's in the soap dish.

7. You received a last-minute invite to a dressy cocktail party. You:
a. wear the new dress hanging in your closet.
b. make do with your standby black skirt and sparkly sweater.
c. don't go because you have nothing to wear and no time to shop.

8. If you had a party, would your hair colorist and stylist be invited?
a. Of course, they're friends.
b. Yes, but they're the same person.
c. What colorist?

9. Your handbag that you tote day in, day out::
a. is one of several must-have bags of the moment.
b. is the one new bag you buy every season.
c. is the same one you've used for years.

10. Your crow's-feet:
a. are gone.
b. are a constant source of worry.
c. never cross your mind.

YOUR RATING Obviously, the "a" answers are high maintenance, the "b's" medium, and the "c's" low. If you're like most women, your answers are a mix of all three letters. I think we all know the following stereotypes.

HIGH: You're doing every single thing you know to look great - whatever the time, whatever the cost. And, chances are, you're always hearing how fantastic you look. The downside here (if there is a downside) is that 1) it's exhausting, 2) it's expensive, and 3) there is definitely a point of no return. Being high maintenance is one thing; looking it is another. To look Y&H, you might find that sometimes less equals more.

MEDIUM: You aspire to look as great as someone who is high maintenance, but you can't imagine devoting that many hours and burning through that much cash. You're more likely to cherry-pick, spending time and money on things that give you the most bang for your buck. You feel good about yourself and confident about your choices.

LOW: You don't invest a lot of time and money in yourself because it hasn't been a big priority in your life. But now you're at the point where you look in the mirror and ask, "What else can I do?" But no one is a pure stereotype; we're always mixing our maintenance options, trading up and trading down, spending our time and money where we need it and where it feels right. Welcome to the way in which real women live!