The following announcements appeared in various church bulletins
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."
9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
17. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
18. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
19. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
20. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
21. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
22. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
24. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
26. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
27. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
28. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
29. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
30. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
31. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
32. Evening massage - 6 p.m.
33. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
34. Ushers will eat latecomers.
35. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
36. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
37. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
38. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
39. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
40. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
41. The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
42. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
43. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
44. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
45. Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
46. (During the minister's illness) GOD IS GOOD.
Dr. Hargreaves is better.
47. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
48. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
50. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
51. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
52. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
53. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
54. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
55. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
56. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
57. The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
58. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
59. Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
60. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
61. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
62. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
63. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
64. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Paranoia
Ok, I want to stop the rumor that's been circulating that I'm paranoid. I know you think I'm paranoid. But I'm not. You know who really thinks I'm paranoid? Well of course you know but I'll tell you since you are acting like you don't know. The people that the government has following me. They are the paranoid ones! Whenever I approach them and say, "I know you are following me", they always look at me like I'm crazy. I just giggle, "Nice try but I'm not paranoid, YOU'RE paranoid". Then they usually just go back to acting like they are breast-feeding their baby.
Laura also thinks I'm paranoid. How did the government get to her?
Occasionally she'll say, "No one is following you". I always think, "Is that what they told you to say?" Then she'll stare at me, probably cause they turned her into a robot or something.
Let's be honest here. Some things just don't add up. Why do you think your computer really is running so slow? Has anyone ever really bought a Soloflex? Why do Greek salads have un-pitted olives in it? Why do you think there is a golf channel? Huh? Huh? Everyone knows using Google makes your ears grow. Think about it, the government knew who was gonna win American Idol a long time ago. It's so obvious.
There is another reason why I'm not paranoid but I can't remember it probably 'cause part of my memory was erased during my last alien abduction. The aliens also falsely believed I was paranoid. But I'm not surprised because it's so obvious that the aliens work for the government. All I really remember about the aliens is that they were green, ate Bounce dryer sheets and were so paranoid.
I'm just glad I'm not paranoid like those aliens I'm friends with now.
Moon
Laura also thinks I'm paranoid. How did the government get to her?
Occasionally she'll say, "No one is following you". I always think, "Is that what they told you to say?" Then she'll stare at me, probably cause they turned her into a robot or something.
Let's be honest here. Some things just don't add up. Why do you think your computer really is running so slow? Has anyone ever really bought a Soloflex? Why do Greek salads have un-pitted olives in it? Why do you think there is a golf channel? Huh? Huh? Everyone knows using Google makes your ears grow. Think about it, the government knew who was gonna win American Idol a long time ago. It's so obvious.
There is another reason why I'm not paranoid but I can't remember it probably 'cause part of my memory was erased during my last alien abduction. The aliens also falsely believed I was paranoid. But I'm not surprised because it's so obvious that the aliens work for the government. All I really remember about the aliens is that they were green, ate Bounce dryer sheets and were so paranoid.
I'm just glad I'm not paranoid like those aliens I'm friends with now.
Moon
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Fist Bump
THE FIST BUMP
1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.
Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless
Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you.
Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re
watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then
you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper
is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not
going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.
1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.
Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless
Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you.
Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re
watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then
you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper
is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not
going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
7 misuses of texting
For those of you who use text messaging as a form of communication with someone you're dating, whether you have a BlackBerry or an Apple iPhone, text messaging is the most abused and misinterpreted form of communication out there.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.
8 ways to affair proof your marriage
1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
No marriage can give you everything.
No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.
5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.
6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. But, it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.
7. Be Nice and Listen: "Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."
8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill: Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him. You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband? Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past. Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood
No marriage can give you everything.
No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.
5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.
6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. But, it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.
7. Be Nice and Listen: "Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."
8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill: Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him. You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband? Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past. Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood
6 gas saving myths
6 gas-saving myths
Sure you want to save gas, but there's a lot of bad advice on how to do it. Some of it makes no difference, and some of it can wind up costing you.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- With gasoline prices hitting record levels, it seems everyone has a tip on how to save fuel. Much of the advice is well-intentioned, but in the end, much of it won't lower your gas bill.
Here's a look at a few misconceptions:
#1. Fill your tank in the morning
You may have heard that it's best to fill your gas tank in the early morning while the fuel is cold. The theory goes that fluids are more dense at lower temperatures, so a gallon of cold gas actually has more gas molecules than a gallon of warmer gas.
But the temperature of the gasoline as it comes out of the nozzle varies little during the course of the day, according to Consumer Reports, so there's little, if any, benefit, to getting up early to pump gas.
#2. Change your air filter
Maintaining your car is important, but a clean air filter isn't going to save you any gas. Modern engines have computer sensors that automatically adjust the fuel-air mixture as an increasingly clogged air filter chokes off the engine's air supply.
While engine power will decrease slightly as the air filter becomes clogged, a lack of performance or an increase in fuel consumption will be negligible, Consumer Reports says.
#3. Use premium fuel
With prices already over $4.00 a gallon, premium gasoline is a hard sell these days. But a lot of drivers think because their owners' manual recommends premium, they'll get better fuel economy with it. Really, they may be paying more money for nothing.
Newer cars for which premium is "recommended" - but not "required" - won't suffer with regular fuel. Modern engine technology comes to the rescue again. When sensors detect regular instead of premium fuel, the system automatically adjusts spark plug timing. The result is a slight reduction in peak horsepower - really, you'll never notice - but little or no reduction in fuel economy.
Always check your owner's manual before putting anything into your car. And if your car runs badly on regular, by all means, go back to the pricey stuff. (See editor's note at bottom)
#4. Pump up your tires
Proper tire inflation is important for a number of reasons. Under-inflated tires are bad for handling and can even cause a crash. Improper tire inflation also causes tires to wear out faster and to heat up more, which could trigger a dangerous high-speed blow-out.
According to on-the-road driving tests by both Consumer Reports and auto information site Edmunds.com, underinflated tires reduce fuel economy, so proper inflation is key.
But you should never over-inflate your tires. They'll get you slightly better fuel economy because there will be less tread touching the road, reducing friction. But that means less grip for braking and turning. The added risk of a crash isn't worth the extra mile a gallon you might gain.
#5. To A/C or not A/C
There's no question air-conditioning makes extra work for the engine, increasing fuel use. But car air conditioners are much more efficient today than they used to be. In around-town driving, using the A/C will drop fuel economy by about a mile a gallon.
Meanwhile, driving at higher speeds with the windows down greatly increases aerodynamic drag. As speed increases, drag becomes more of an issue, making A/C use the more efficient choice at high speeds.
At most speeds and in most vehicles, A/C use drains slightly more fuel than driving with the windows down, contends David Champion, head of auto testing for Consumer Reports. "My final take on is that it's very close," says Phil Reed, consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com. "It's hard to measure the difference and every vehicle is different."
The best choice - if temperature and humidity allow - is to keep the windows rolled up and to turn the A/C compressor off. You can keep the fans running to blow in air from the outside, but your car will be as aerodynamic as possible while still letting you breathe. You will save gas, but the fuel economy improvement will be slight.
#6. Bolt-ons and pour-ins
Before you buy a device that's supposed to make your car more fuel-efficient or pour in an allegedly gas-saving additive, ask yourself this: Don't you think oil and car companies aren't doing everything they can to beat their competitors?
If BP (BP) could add something to its gasoline that made cars go farther on a gallon, cars would be lining up at the company's pumps. Sure, people would burn their fuel-saving BP gas more slowly, but then they'd drive right past rivals' gas stations to come back to BP for more. BP stations could even charge more for their gas and still sell tons of the stuff.
So if there really was an additive that made gas burn up more slowly, it wouldn't be sold over the Internet one bottle at a time.
Likewise, car companies are already spending big bucks to increase fuel mileage. If General Motors could make its cars go significantly farther on a gallon simply by putting a device into the fuel line, don't think for a second it wouldn't be doing that. GM's car sales would go through the roof.
"There are a number of these gas-saving devices that are generally useless," says Champion.
But drivers who try them will swear they work. In reality, it's probably an automotive placebo effect, says Reed. Buy one of these devices or additives, and you're like to pay extreme attention to your fuel economy and how you drive.
Sure you want to save gas, but there's a lot of bad advice on how to do it. Some of it makes no difference, and some of it can wind up costing you.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- With gasoline prices hitting record levels, it seems everyone has a tip on how to save fuel. Much of the advice is well-intentioned, but in the end, much of it won't lower your gas bill.
Here's a look at a few misconceptions:
#1. Fill your tank in the morning
You may have heard that it's best to fill your gas tank in the early morning while the fuel is cold. The theory goes that fluids are more dense at lower temperatures, so a gallon of cold gas actually has more gas molecules than a gallon of warmer gas.
But the temperature of the gasoline as it comes out of the nozzle varies little during the course of the day, according to Consumer Reports, so there's little, if any, benefit, to getting up early to pump gas.
#2. Change your air filter
Maintaining your car is important, but a clean air filter isn't going to save you any gas. Modern engines have computer sensors that automatically adjust the fuel-air mixture as an increasingly clogged air filter chokes off the engine's air supply.
While engine power will decrease slightly as the air filter becomes clogged, a lack of performance or an increase in fuel consumption will be negligible, Consumer Reports says.
#3. Use premium fuel
With prices already over $4.00 a gallon, premium gasoline is a hard sell these days. But a lot of drivers think because their owners' manual recommends premium, they'll get better fuel economy with it. Really, they may be paying more money for nothing.
Newer cars for which premium is "recommended" - but not "required" - won't suffer with regular fuel. Modern engine technology comes to the rescue again. When sensors detect regular instead of premium fuel, the system automatically adjusts spark plug timing. The result is a slight reduction in peak horsepower - really, you'll never notice - but little or no reduction in fuel economy.
Always check your owner's manual before putting anything into your car. And if your car runs badly on regular, by all means, go back to the pricey stuff. (See editor's note at bottom)
#4. Pump up your tires
Proper tire inflation is important for a number of reasons. Under-inflated tires are bad for handling and can even cause a crash. Improper tire inflation also causes tires to wear out faster and to heat up more, which could trigger a dangerous high-speed blow-out.
According to on-the-road driving tests by both Consumer Reports and auto information site Edmunds.com, underinflated tires reduce fuel economy, so proper inflation is key.
But you should never over-inflate your tires. They'll get you slightly better fuel economy because there will be less tread touching the road, reducing friction. But that means less grip for braking and turning. The added risk of a crash isn't worth the extra mile a gallon you might gain.
#5. To A/C or not A/C
There's no question air-conditioning makes extra work for the engine, increasing fuel use. But car air conditioners are much more efficient today than they used to be. In around-town driving, using the A/C will drop fuel economy by about a mile a gallon.
Meanwhile, driving at higher speeds with the windows down greatly increases aerodynamic drag. As speed increases, drag becomes more of an issue, making A/C use the more efficient choice at high speeds.
At most speeds and in most vehicles, A/C use drains slightly more fuel than driving with the windows down, contends David Champion, head of auto testing for Consumer Reports. "My final take on is that it's very close," says Phil Reed, consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com. "It's hard to measure the difference and every vehicle is different."
The best choice - if temperature and humidity allow - is to keep the windows rolled up and to turn the A/C compressor off. You can keep the fans running to blow in air from the outside, but your car will be as aerodynamic as possible while still letting you breathe. You will save gas, but the fuel economy improvement will be slight.
#6. Bolt-ons and pour-ins
Before you buy a device that's supposed to make your car more fuel-efficient or pour in an allegedly gas-saving additive, ask yourself this: Don't you think oil and car companies aren't doing everything they can to beat their competitors?
If BP (BP) could add something to its gasoline that made cars go farther on a gallon, cars would be lining up at the company's pumps. Sure, people would burn their fuel-saving BP gas more slowly, but then they'd drive right past rivals' gas stations to come back to BP for more. BP stations could even charge more for their gas and still sell tons of the stuff.
So if there really was an additive that made gas burn up more slowly, it wouldn't be sold over the Internet one bottle at a time.
Likewise, car companies are already spending big bucks to increase fuel mileage. If General Motors could make its cars go significantly farther on a gallon simply by putting a device into the fuel line, don't think for a second it wouldn't be doing that. GM's car sales would go through the roof.
"There are a number of these gas-saving devices that are generally useless," says Champion.
But drivers who try them will swear they work. In reality, it's probably an automotive placebo effect, says Reed. Buy one of these devices or additives, and you're like to pay extreme attention to your fuel economy and how you drive.
Fill your grocery cart without busting your budget
(MSNBC) Food prices are soaring. Find out how to save without sacrificing nutrition.
The weekly trip to the grocery store is getting more expensive and there’s no relief in sight, experts say. Many shoppers are wondering how to save on their food bills, without sacrificing nutrition.
There are some strategies you can follow to help avoid grocery sticker shock, says Phil Lempert, TODAY food editor. Here's what he suggests:
List it:
Shopping with a list can save you 10 percent on unnecessary items like junk food.
Buy in bulk:
But don’t buy more than you’ll use. Waste is costly too.
Simpler is better:
The more processed the food, the more it costs—and, generally, the less healthy it is.
Dodge impulse traps:
Stores are set up to spur impulse buying. Focus on staples such as milk, eggs, bread and canned or frozen veggies and avoid tempting cookies and cakes in the deli section.
Use coupons:
Store discount programs and supercenters such as Wal-mart and Costco can also help generate significant savings. By being flexible and planning meals around what’s on sale, you can lower your grocery bills. “To save money, you need to switch brands and types of foods,” substituting less expensive meats or fish, and trading beans and eggs for meat, says Phil Lempert.
--------------------------------------
Milk
Buy store brands
Milk’s price has climbed 13 percent in the past year, according to the USDA, so it’s worth saving as much as a dollar on a store-brand gallon. Even at 25 cents a cup, milk is loaded with calcium, magnesium and Vitamin D so it's still a pretty good deal. As always, choose 1 percent or skim milk, which is the same price as whole milk and healthier for your heart.
Try powdered or evaporated
To lower the cost and retain the nutritional value, consider powdered versions. If you don’t like the taste, add the reconstituted milk to mashed potatoes, soups or casseroles.
Rather than cutting back on healthy staples, click on the items at the left to learn how to get the most nutrition bang for your grocery buck.
----------------------------------------
Eggs
Go for bulk
A dozen eggs costs 75 cents more than it did two years ago, so seek sales and buy eggs in economical 18- or 24-packs if you’re planning to use a lot of them. Even if you don't finish them quickly, eggs are still good for up to a month after the expiration date. Be aware that while organic eggs have the same levels of cholesterol and nutrition as regular eggs, they can cost up to twice as much.
Not just for breakfast
At an estimated 20 cents a serving, eggs make for a much cheaper source of protein than meat. Substitute frittatas, omelets and other such egg-based foods for meat at main meals. There’s controversy over how many eggs a week can be eaten safely, but nutrition experts say an egg a day can be part of a heart-healthy diet. If you're watching your cholesterol, avoid the yolk and just use the whites.
-----------------------------------------
Pasta
Buy Italian
Brands from Italy such as Torino and La Molisana are often cheaper because the Italian government subsidizes pasta, and they’re just as healthy as domestic brands.
Stay dry
Fresh pasta can cost twice as much and is no better nutritionally than the good quality dried varieties.
Make your own sauce
Buy a can of crushed tomatoes, then add herbs and a little olive oil. You’ll have a quick-and-easy sauce that’s half the price of prepared brands and lower in calories because it isn’t sweetened with heavy corn syrup.
-----------------------------------------
Bread
Buy second day
With a 15 percent price hike in the past year and a short shelf life, bread is no bargain. But stores want it sold before it spoils, so try to time your purchase with clearance price-slashing. You can stock up and freeze it for later use.
Change it up
Whole wheat bread’s fiber and grains make it the choice of nutritionists, but it can cost up to a dollar more than white bread. If the cost is a problem, consider alternating whole wheat with white bread that is enriched with folic acid.
------------------------------------------
Cereal
Go basic
Pick old fashioned oatmeal or cornflakes over fancy commercial cereals. Oatmeal typically contains fewer additives, can help lower bad cholesterol and is less expensive per pound than higher-priced cereals.
Choose store brands
You’ll save around a dollar a box and get the same nutritional value as a more expensive brand.
------------------------------------------
Rice
Choose raw
You’ll get more for your money than with precooked brands such as instant rice.
Buy brown
Though it costs about 25 percent more, brown beats white for its valuable fiber and fatty acids. Brown rice will turn rancid over time, so refrigerate it for storage up to six months. By purchasing brown rice in bulk and refrigerating it, you can save significantly.
Try barley
If rice prices have skyrocketed in your area, consider dry barley. It's packed with even more nutrients than brown rice and is about 40 percent cheaper. Use it like rice in soups or casseroles. Toss it into a salad with tomatoes and almonds.
-------------------------------------------
Produce
Be seasonal
Produce is the most flavorful and economical when it is in season. In the summer, corn, peaches and plums are most plentiful, so that’s when they’re cheapest — and also at their most fresh and nutritious. For a guide to what’s in season throughout the year, visit the Produce for Better Health Foundation Web site. Click here for the seasonal list.
Choose locally grown
In general, produce grown closer to you will cost less and be fresher because it has traveled less. The same isn’t true for organic produce though; it’ll cost up to twice as much no matter where it’s grown.
Think frozen
Frozen produce is preserved at its nutritional peak, yet sells for a quarter of what it costs fresh. So stock up on frozen to save money and reap nutritional benefits.
Pick canned
Canning also preserves nutrition and cuts costs — just beware of fruits packed in heavy syrup or veggies soaked in sodium. Look for reduced sugar or salt options, or drain and rinse items before serving.
----------------------------------------------
Fish
Don’t be a fish snob
Lower-end fish like catfish and mullet can offer cost savings over the likes of grouper or salmon — without sacrificing nutrients.
Fresh isn’t all that
Once caught, all fish is iced. So fish on the frozen aisle is really fresher and cheaper than what the store thaws and peddles as fresh.
Pick canned
Canned tuna or herring is cheaper than fresh or frozen and equally packed with healthy omega-3s. Varieties canned in water are lower in fat and calories than those packed in oil.
----------------------------------------------
Meat
Buy whole and store
Skin and de-bone a whole chicken to save between $1.50 and $4 a pound. Or buy 10 chicken breasts and freeze them in individual bags, but use them within a year before freezer burn sets in.
Rethink your cut
With beef, for example, downgrade from tenderloin and rib-eye cuts to chuck or shanks, a good choice because it’s lean. Less expensive cuts should be cooked longer to maximize tenderness.
Marinate it
Tenderize and add flavor to your less expensive cuts by soaking them in marinade. But skip sugary store-bought marinades and make your own with vinegar and tomato for more tender, healthful meat.
Stretch it
Make your meat go further by slicing it into stews or salads. That way you get your veggies too.
------------------------------------------------
Beans
Boost your intake
Whether canned or dried, beans pack valuable protein, fiber, folate and iron for a cost effective $1 per 16-ounce can or bag, often much less when on sale. They’re a healthy substitution for, or addition to, meat in any hot dish or salad.
Save time
If you don’t have time to soak dried beans overnight and then cook them for an hour or more, canned varieties are as nutritious and take only minutes to heat. Black beans or lentils can be added to pasta sauces, soups and casseroles for an affordable, nutritious meal. Chickpeas add low-fat protein to green salads.
The weekly trip to the grocery store is getting more expensive and there’s no relief in sight, experts say. Many shoppers are wondering how to save on their food bills, without sacrificing nutrition.
There are some strategies you can follow to help avoid grocery sticker shock, says Phil Lempert, TODAY food editor. Here's what he suggests:
List it:
Shopping with a list can save you 10 percent on unnecessary items like junk food.
Buy in bulk:
But don’t buy more than you’ll use. Waste is costly too.
Simpler is better:
The more processed the food, the more it costs—and, generally, the less healthy it is.
Dodge impulse traps:
Stores are set up to spur impulse buying. Focus on staples such as milk, eggs, bread and canned or frozen veggies and avoid tempting cookies and cakes in the deli section.
Use coupons:
Store discount programs and supercenters such as Wal-mart and Costco can also help generate significant savings. By being flexible and planning meals around what’s on sale, you can lower your grocery bills. “To save money, you need to switch brands and types of foods,” substituting less expensive meats or fish, and trading beans and eggs for meat, says Phil Lempert.
--------------------------------------
Milk
Buy store brands
Milk’s price has climbed 13 percent in the past year, according to the USDA, so it’s worth saving as much as a dollar on a store-brand gallon. Even at 25 cents a cup, milk is loaded with calcium, magnesium and Vitamin D so it's still a pretty good deal. As always, choose 1 percent or skim milk, which is the same price as whole milk and healthier for your heart.
Try powdered or evaporated
To lower the cost and retain the nutritional value, consider powdered versions. If you don’t like the taste, add the reconstituted milk to mashed potatoes, soups or casseroles.
Rather than cutting back on healthy staples, click on the items at the left to learn how to get the most nutrition bang for your grocery buck.
----------------------------------------
Eggs
Go for bulk
A dozen eggs costs 75 cents more than it did two years ago, so seek sales and buy eggs in economical 18- or 24-packs if you’re planning to use a lot of them. Even if you don't finish them quickly, eggs are still good for up to a month after the expiration date. Be aware that while organic eggs have the same levels of cholesterol and nutrition as regular eggs, they can cost up to twice as much.
Not just for breakfast
At an estimated 20 cents a serving, eggs make for a much cheaper source of protein than meat. Substitute frittatas, omelets and other such egg-based foods for meat at main meals. There’s controversy over how many eggs a week can be eaten safely, but nutrition experts say an egg a day can be part of a heart-healthy diet. If you're watching your cholesterol, avoid the yolk and just use the whites.
-----------------------------------------
Pasta
Buy Italian
Brands from Italy such as Torino and La Molisana are often cheaper because the Italian government subsidizes pasta, and they’re just as healthy as domestic brands.
Stay dry
Fresh pasta can cost twice as much and is no better nutritionally than the good quality dried varieties.
Make your own sauce
Buy a can of crushed tomatoes, then add herbs and a little olive oil. You’ll have a quick-and-easy sauce that’s half the price of prepared brands and lower in calories because it isn’t sweetened with heavy corn syrup.
-----------------------------------------
Bread
Buy second day
With a 15 percent price hike in the past year and a short shelf life, bread is no bargain. But stores want it sold before it spoils, so try to time your purchase with clearance price-slashing. You can stock up and freeze it for later use.
Change it up
Whole wheat bread’s fiber and grains make it the choice of nutritionists, but it can cost up to a dollar more than white bread. If the cost is a problem, consider alternating whole wheat with white bread that is enriched with folic acid.
------------------------------------------
Cereal
Go basic
Pick old fashioned oatmeal or cornflakes over fancy commercial cereals. Oatmeal typically contains fewer additives, can help lower bad cholesterol and is less expensive per pound than higher-priced cereals.
Choose store brands
You’ll save around a dollar a box and get the same nutritional value as a more expensive brand.
------------------------------------------
Rice
Choose raw
You’ll get more for your money than with precooked brands such as instant rice.
Buy brown
Though it costs about 25 percent more, brown beats white for its valuable fiber and fatty acids. Brown rice will turn rancid over time, so refrigerate it for storage up to six months. By purchasing brown rice in bulk and refrigerating it, you can save significantly.
Try barley
If rice prices have skyrocketed in your area, consider dry barley. It's packed with even more nutrients than brown rice and is about 40 percent cheaper. Use it like rice in soups or casseroles. Toss it into a salad with tomatoes and almonds.
-------------------------------------------
Produce
Be seasonal
Produce is the most flavorful and economical when it is in season. In the summer, corn, peaches and plums are most plentiful, so that’s when they’re cheapest — and also at their most fresh and nutritious. For a guide to what’s in season throughout the year, visit the Produce for Better Health Foundation Web site. Click here for the seasonal list.
Choose locally grown
In general, produce grown closer to you will cost less and be fresher because it has traveled less. The same isn’t true for organic produce though; it’ll cost up to twice as much no matter where it’s grown.
Think frozen
Frozen produce is preserved at its nutritional peak, yet sells for a quarter of what it costs fresh. So stock up on frozen to save money and reap nutritional benefits.
Pick canned
Canning also preserves nutrition and cuts costs — just beware of fruits packed in heavy syrup or veggies soaked in sodium. Look for reduced sugar or salt options, or drain and rinse items before serving.
----------------------------------------------
Fish
Don’t be a fish snob
Lower-end fish like catfish and mullet can offer cost savings over the likes of grouper or salmon — without sacrificing nutrients.
Fresh isn’t all that
Once caught, all fish is iced. So fish on the frozen aisle is really fresher and cheaper than what the store thaws and peddles as fresh.
Pick canned
Canned tuna or herring is cheaper than fresh or frozen and equally packed with healthy omega-3s. Varieties canned in water are lower in fat and calories than those packed in oil.
----------------------------------------------
Meat
Buy whole and store
Skin and de-bone a whole chicken to save between $1.50 and $4 a pound. Or buy 10 chicken breasts and freeze them in individual bags, but use them within a year before freezer burn sets in.
Rethink your cut
With beef, for example, downgrade from tenderloin and rib-eye cuts to chuck or shanks, a good choice because it’s lean. Less expensive cuts should be cooked longer to maximize tenderness.
Marinate it
Tenderize and add flavor to your less expensive cuts by soaking them in marinade. But skip sugary store-bought marinades and make your own with vinegar and tomato for more tender, healthful meat.
Stretch it
Make your meat go further by slicing it into stews or salads. That way you get your veggies too.
------------------------------------------------
Beans
Boost your intake
Whether canned or dried, beans pack valuable protein, fiber, folate and iron for a cost effective $1 per 16-ounce can or bag, often much less when on sale. They’re a healthy substitution for, or addition to, meat in any hot dish or salad.
Save time
If you don’t have time to soak dried beans overnight and then cook them for an hour or more, canned varieties are as nutritious and take only minutes to heat. Black beans or lentils can be added to pasta sauces, soups and casseroles for an affordable, nutritious meal. Chickpeas add low-fat protein to green salads.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
You gotta see this to believe!!!!
|
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Mom thru the ages
4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mummy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Let's go down the hallway and ask Mum what she thinks.
55 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mum
8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Let's go down the hallway and ask Mum what she thinks.
55 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mum
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
save $100 a month!
1. Stop smoking!
At $4.00 a pack, and a pack a day, if you stop smoking today,
that's $120.00 a month you've saved, not to mention the midnight
runs to the convenience store to get a pack of cigs.
2. Stop buying coffee at the coffee shop.
At $5.00 a cup, plus how much is that brownie you got to eat with
your coffee? That's $150.00 a month. Saved! Ka-ching, Ka-ching.
You're doing it!
3. Make all errands in one trip.
Stop doing all those extra trips to town. You can probably save half
a tank of gas, if not more each month just by cutting the extra trips
to town. Get groceries on the way home from work! You can do it, just
plan better.
4. Shut off the cable.
There are so many things you can do in the evening that don't have
anything to do with television. Perhaps a walk, play with the kids,
walk through parking lots looking for dropped coins. Try baking
cookies for snacks instead of buying them.
5. Eat at home.
At $4.00 a pack, and a pack a day, if you stop smoking today,
that's $120.00 a month you've saved, not to mention the midnight
runs to the convenience store to get a pack of cigs.
2. Stop buying coffee at the coffee shop.
At $5.00 a cup, plus how much is that brownie you got to eat with
your coffee? That's $150.00 a month. Saved! Ka-ching, Ka-ching.
You're doing it!
3. Make all errands in one trip.
Stop doing all those extra trips to town. You can probably save half
a tank of gas, if not more each month just by cutting the extra trips
to town. Get groceries on the way home from work! You can do it, just
plan better.
4. Shut off the cable.
There are so many things you can do in the evening that don't have
anything to do with television. Perhaps a walk, play with the kids,
walk through parking lots looking for dropped coins. Try baking
cookies for snacks instead of buying them.
5. Eat at home.
Single girl things to do before marriage
- SINGLE GIRL THINGS TO DO BEFORE MARRIAGE (Cosmopolitan)
· Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing
abs. So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The
joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate
reason to go out with him.
· Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one
from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
· Embrace feminine decor. Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink --
that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place -- but stock up
on stuff that appeals to your girlie side.
· Take advantage of the whole bed. You have the rest of your life to
stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man.
· Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or
heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
· Learn how to change a tire and work a drill. It's easy to relegate
all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his
help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix
something yourself.
· Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet. Once it's there, he'll have to accept it and they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up.
· Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together
with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social
life.
· Get a grip on your dough. Sign up for a retirement plan and invest
extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash
flow before merging moola with your guy.
· Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible. The
reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity
will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last
meal that'll be his treat.
· Want a cat? Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you
in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up
being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.
· If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda,
buy a cone and pop a Coke. When you and The Mister mangia together all
the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre - but oh
-so-satisfying - cravings.
· Use tons of hot water in the a.m.
· Take your celeb crush to the max. Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling
in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of
him.
· Plan your fantasy wedding. Now's the time to let your imagination
roam - rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues,
and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out
if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.
· Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status
can't disturb. Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether
it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a
superrelaxing massage.
· Set up your home in a way that fits your needs. Maybe keeping the
coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost
while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have
to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement,
customize.
· Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing
abs. So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The
joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate
reason to go out with him.
· Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one
from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
· Embrace feminine decor. Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink --
that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place -- but stock up
on stuff that appeals to your girlie side.
· Take advantage of the whole bed. You have the rest of your life to
stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man.
· Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or
heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
· Learn how to change a tire and work a drill. It's easy to relegate
all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his
help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix
something yourself.
· Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet. Once it's there, he'll have to accept it and they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up.
· Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together
with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social
life.
· Get a grip on your dough. Sign up for a retirement plan and invest
extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash
flow before merging moola with your guy.
· Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible. The
reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity
will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last
meal that'll be his treat.
· Want a cat? Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you
in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up
being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.
· If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda,
buy a cone and pop a Coke. When you and The Mister mangia together all
the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre - but oh
-so-satisfying - cravings.
· Use tons of hot water in the a.m.
· Take your celeb crush to the max. Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling
in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of
him.
· Plan your fantasy wedding. Now's the time to let your imagination
roam - rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues,
and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out
if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.
· Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status
can't disturb. Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether
it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a
superrelaxing massage.
· Set up your home in a way that fits your needs. Maybe keeping the
coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost
while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have
to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement,
customize.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Healthy breakfast cereals that aren't
Healthy breakfast cereals that aren't. One of my faves (Basic 4) has
TRANS FAT!!! What are bad, and what to eat instead:
http://body.aol.com/diet/basics/healthy-breakfast-cereal?icid=1
00214839x1201004233x1200037803
TRANS FAT!!! What are bad, and what to eat instead:
http://body.aol.com/diet/basics/healthy-breakfast-cereal?icid=1
00214839x1201004233x1200037803
Why R U still single?
Why are you still single? Maybe because you...
Have written poetry inside a Starbucks.
Hug amusement park mascots.
Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers.
Sleep on WWF sheets
Posed shirtless for your MySpace page.
Have a 'lucky' garter hanging from your rearview mirror.
Call October Rocktober.
Keep a dream journal
Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed.
Have taken a course on improving your oral sex technique.
Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros.
Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates.
Phone in long distance radio dedications.
Believe the mouth is self cleaning.
Have written poetry inside a Starbucks.
Hug amusement park mascots.
Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers.
Sleep on WWF sheets
Posed shirtless for your MySpace page.
Have a 'lucky' garter hanging from your rearview mirror.
Call October Rocktober.
Keep a dream journal
Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed.
Have taken a course on improving your oral sex technique.
Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros.
Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates.
Phone in long distance radio dedications.
Believe the mouth is self cleaning.
6 fat melting food swaps
6 Fat-Melting Food Swaps
Not all burgers are created equal. That's important, especially when you consider that the average American will consume 100 of them this year.
Take, for example, America's two most famous burgers: the Whopper with Cheese and the Big Mac. A fair fight, right? Well, if you go for the Arch alternative, you'll save 220 calories over the BK Behemoth. (A Big Mac has 540 calories and 29 grams of fat, compared to the Whopper's 760 calories and 47 grams of fat!)
Use that strategy for every burger you eat in 2008, and you'll save 22,000 calories - the equivalent of almost six pounds of body fat. You don't have to (nor should you) live on Big Macs; pick an even leaner burger and save even more.
See, the way you pick your favorite fixes - from burgers to banana splits - could help you make the transition from chubby to chiseled. In researching our new book Eat This, Not That!, we found that the most effective weight-loss strategy doesn't require you to abandon the foods you love, but simply to make better choices when selecting them.
Supplement that approach with plenty of fresh produce and lean protein throughout the week, and you'll trade failed diets and wild weight fluctuations for healthy eating patterns and a lean, new you. And once you learn how it's done, you can stay that way forever. Who wouldn't make that swap?
Pizza
Eat This:
2 slices Domino's large cheese pizza with crunchy thin crust
360 calories
19 g fat

Not That!
2 slices Pizza Hut large cheese pizza with thin 'n cripsy crust
560 calories
24 g fat
Save 200 calories and 5 grams of fat!
In the world of mass-produced pizza, nothing beats Domino's crunchy thin-crust pie. Eat pizza just once a week, and you'll save more than 10,000 calories this year - which is a nice down payment on a smaller waist size.
Turkey Sandwich
Eat This:
Subway 6-inch Turkey Sub with provolone cheese
330 calories
8.5 g fat

Not That!
Panera Bread Sierra Turkey
840 calories
40 g fat
Save 510 calories and 31.5 grams of fat!
Don't sweat the meat in the sandwich: turkey, roast beef, and ham are all lean cuts. But Panera slathers its turkey with a thick layer of chipotle mayo and slides it into a heavy, oily wedge of focaccia, so that turkey is a porker. A Subway 6-incher not enough to quell your raging lunchtime hunger? Double up on meat for just 50 calories more.
Cinnamon Roll
Eat This:
Au Bon Pain Cinnamon Roll
350 calories
21 g sugars
12 g fat

Not That!
Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll
813 calories
55 g sugars
32 g fat
Save 463 calories, 34 grams of sugars, and 20 grams of fat!
OK, there's absolutely no nutritional value in a cinnamon roll. We said it. But when you just have to have one, take comfort in knowing that Au Bon Pain's restrained rendition more than halves the calories, sugar, and fat found in the Cinnabon catastrophe.
Beer
Drink This:
Guinness Draught
125 calories
10 g carbohydrates
Not That!
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
175 calories
15 g carbohydrates
Save 50 calories a beer!
Surprised? Most people think of Guinness as a beer milkshake: dark, thick, and rich enough to inspire guilt at first sip. But switch out a six-pack a week and you've just saved yourself more than four pounds this year. Extend those savings even further with Beck's Premier Light: At 64 calories a bottle, it doesn't get any lighter than this.
Doughnut
Eat This:
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut
230 calories
10 g fat
12 g sugars
Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Cake Donut
330 calories
18 g fat
18 g sugars
Save 100 calories and 8 grams of fat!
Both are cloaked in sugar, but their original doughnuts are light and airy because they're made with yeast, and cake donuts are heavy and dense because they're made with cake batter. Remember: Cake is not a breakfast food.
Fruit Smoothie
Eat This:
Jamba Juice Power Mega Mango Smoothie
420 calories
97 g sugars
Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Large Tropical Fruit Smoothie
720 calories
142 g sugars
Save 300 calories and 45 grams of sugars!
This sickeningly sweet concoction from Dunkin' has an ingredient list straight out of a chem lab and more sugar than seven Häagen-Dazs vanilla-and-almond ice-cream bars. So this tropical excursion will be bad for your equator. The Jamba version is 100 percent fruit, so there's a huge caloric discount and big antioxidant payload.
For nine more shocking swaps that will help you save big this year, click here.
And sign up now for the FREE Eat This, Not That newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox each week!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Want more from David? Subscribe to Men's Health with this special offer: 50% off the cover price.
You can also check out "Eat This Not That" on Yahoo! Shopping.
2007 Men's Health . All Rights Reserved.
« Previous Entry The 20 Worst Foods in America
Not all burgers are created equal. That's important, especially when you consider that the average American will consume 100 of them this year.
Take, for example, America's two most famous burgers: the Whopper with Cheese and the Big Mac. A fair fight, right? Well, if you go for the Arch alternative, you'll save 220 calories over the BK Behemoth. (A Big Mac has 540 calories and 29 grams of fat, compared to the Whopper's 760 calories and 47 grams of fat!)
Use that strategy for every burger you eat in 2008, and you'll save 22,000 calories - the equivalent of almost six pounds of body fat. You don't have to (nor should you) live on Big Macs; pick an even leaner burger and save even more.
See, the way you pick your favorite fixes - from burgers to banana splits - could help you make the transition from chubby to chiseled. In researching our new book Eat This, Not That!, we found that the most effective weight-loss strategy doesn't require you to abandon the foods you love, but simply to make better choices when selecting them.
Supplement that approach with plenty of fresh produce and lean protein throughout the week, and you'll trade failed diets and wild weight fluctuations for healthy eating patterns and a lean, new you. And once you learn how it's done, you can stay that way forever. Who wouldn't make that swap?
Pizza
Eat This:
2 slices Domino's large cheese pizza with crunchy thin crust
360 calories
19 g fat

Not That!
2 slices Pizza Hut large cheese pizza with thin 'n cripsy crust
560 calories
24 g fat
Save 200 calories and 5 grams of fat!
In the world of mass-produced pizza, nothing beats Domino's crunchy thin-crust pie. Eat pizza just once a week, and you'll save more than 10,000 calories this year - which is a nice down payment on a smaller waist size.
Turkey Sandwich
Eat This:
Subway 6-inch Turkey Sub with provolone cheese
330 calories
8.5 g fat

Not That!
Panera Bread Sierra Turkey
840 calories
40 g fat
Save 510 calories and 31.5 grams of fat!
Don't sweat the meat in the sandwich: turkey, roast beef, and ham are all lean cuts. But Panera slathers its turkey with a thick layer of chipotle mayo and slides it into a heavy, oily wedge of focaccia, so that turkey is a porker. A Subway 6-incher not enough to quell your raging lunchtime hunger? Double up on meat for just 50 calories more.
Cinnamon Roll
Eat This:
Au Bon Pain Cinnamon Roll
350 calories
21 g sugars
12 g fat

Not That!
Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll
813 calories
55 g sugars
32 g fat
Save 463 calories, 34 grams of sugars, and 20 grams of fat!
OK, there's absolutely no nutritional value in a cinnamon roll. We said it. But when you just have to have one, take comfort in knowing that Au Bon Pain's restrained rendition more than halves the calories, sugar, and fat found in the Cinnabon catastrophe.
Beer
Drink This:
Guinness Draught
125 calories
10 g carbohydrates
Not That!
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
175 calories
15 g carbohydrates
Save 50 calories a beer!
Surprised? Most people think of Guinness as a beer milkshake: dark, thick, and rich enough to inspire guilt at first sip. But switch out a six-pack a week and you've just saved yourself more than four pounds this year. Extend those savings even further with Beck's Premier Light: At 64 calories a bottle, it doesn't get any lighter than this.
Doughnut
Eat This:
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut
230 calories
10 g fat
12 g sugars
Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Cake Donut
330 calories
18 g fat
18 g sugars
Save 100 calories and 8 grams of fat!
Both are cloaked in sugar, but their original doughnuts are light and airy because they're made with yeast, and cake donuts are heavy and dense because they're made with cake batter. Remember: Cake is not a breakfast food.
Fruit Smoothie
Eat This:
Jamba Juice Power Mega Mango Smoothie
420 calories
97 g sugars
Not That!
Dunkin' Donuts Large Tropical Fruit Smoothie
720 calories
142 g sugars
Save 300 calories and 45 grams of sugars!
This sickeningly sweet concoction from Dunkin' has an ingredient list straight out of a chem lab and more sugar than seven Häagen-Dazs vanilla-and-almond ice-cream bars. So this tropical excursion will be bad for your equator. The Jamba version is 100 percent fruit, so there's a huge caloric discount and big antioxidant payload.
For nine more shocking swaps that will help you save big this year, click here.
And sign up now for the FREE Eat This, Not That newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox each week!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Want more from David? Subscribe to Men's Health with this special offer: 50% off the cover price.
You can also check out "Eat This Not That" on Yahoo! Shopping.
2007 Men's Health . All Rights Reserved.
« Previous Entry The 20 Worst Foods in America
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