Friday, August 22, 2008
Save Gas by filling up in the morning? .....read on
Some people say it's better to buy your gasoline first thing in the morning, rather than in the heat of the day. That's because gasoline, like all liquids, expands when heated. So, according to this advice, gasoline will be denser in the cool of early morning, meaning you'll get more energy per gallon than later in the day.
The basic facts are correct, but the advice is not. Gasoline does expand and contract a little depending on its temperature. When gasoline rises from 60 to 75 degrees F, for instance, it increases in volume by 1 percent while the energy content remains the same.
But filling stations typically store their gasoline in underground tanks, where the temperature variation during the day is much less than in the air above. The result is that the temperature of the gasoline coming out of the fuel nozzle varies very little, if at all, during any 24-hour stretch at any particular station.
Craig Eerkes
The basic facts are correct, but the advice is not. Gasoline does expand and contract a little depending on its temperature. When gasoline rises from 60 to 75 degrees F, for instance, it increases in volume by 1 percent while the energy content remains the same.
But filling stations typically store their gasoline in underground tanks, where the temperature variation during the day is much less than in the air above. The result is that the temperature of the gasoline coming out of the fuel nozzle varies very little, if at all, during any 24-hour stretch at any particular station.
Craig Eerkes
Monday, August 18, 2008
Credit card scam
New Credit Card Scam
Snopes.com says this is true. See this site - http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp
This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want.
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.
One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'Master Card'. The scam works like this: Caller: 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This wo uld be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona ?'
When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?'
You say 'yes'. The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800- VISA) and ask for Security.'
You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'
Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3=2 0numbers, he'll say, 'That is corre ct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?' After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do, and hangs up.
You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card Don't give it to them. Instead, tel l them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of Master Card' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening
Snopes.com says this is true. See this site - http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp
This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want.
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.
One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'Master Card'. The scam works like this: Caller: 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This wo uld be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona ?'
When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?'
You say 'yes'. The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800- VISA) and ask for Security.'
You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'
Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3=2 0numbers, he'll say, 'That is corre ct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?' After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do, and hangs up.
You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card Don't give it to them. Instead, tel l them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of Master Card' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Save without Sacrifice
There's no question that saving for the future is critical. While some people save for retirement or to support their children, others seek a vacation or a down payment on a home. Whatever the case, putting income aside is part of life - and when it comes to saving, the sooner you start, the bigger the payoff.
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But even if you have a specific goal in mind - for example, digging yourself out of debt - being a penny-pincher just isn't fun. Fattening your bank account may be a priority, but so is enjoying life. And although some people equate saving money with social suicide, a healthy bank account doesn't have to mean eliminating social engagements. Realistically, a "no expenses" diet is impossible unless you're a hermit - and that's why you should focus on slashing costs where you can instead of cutting yourself off completely.
Let's take a look at a four things you can do to save like Scrooge, but without all the grumpy side effects.
1. Rethink the Luxuries
Our consumer culture is replete with new technologies and endless competition, which means nifty gadgets and superfluous luxuries have become par for the course. We're constantly bombarded with appeals to take part in the social ritual of buying products that look tempting, no matter how frivolous or unnecessary they may be. As for what we do need, advertisers are adept at selling consumers on cool-looking, costly brands, when their lesser-known, cheaper counterparts are just as good.
Of course, it's the buyer's prerogative to choose: you can go with the latest MP3 player, complete with video, email and color-coordinating accessories, or you can pick a basic, less expensive model - it might not be as fancy, but you still get music, right? Why not save your extra dollars for something that really counts?
Before you reach for your wallet, ask yourself whether the purchase is a need or a want.If it's a want, determine whether it's worth it: in the long run, would you rather have the latest iPod - and let's face it, you mostly want it because of the hype - or the peace of mind in knowing you've delayed gratification in order to afford something more meaningful? Apply this principle to every retail temptation you're faced with and you'll avoid needlessly dumping your money.
2. Surf and Save
The stereotypical clip-and-save coupon is time-consuming and limited to groceries and bargains-of-the-week, but today's e-coupons are just a mouse click away. Before planning your next night out or mini-vacation, take a minute to surf these free websites where you'll save a pretty penny:
StubHub. Saving is no fun when you're missing your favorite events. This site (www.stubhub.com), which allows you to buy tickets directly from individuals, is perfect for finding discounted tickets to your favorite band or play.
Airfare Watchdog. As soon as you've planned a trip, register at www.airfarewatchdog.com. The site tracks fares for all major airlines and will send you an email alert when cheap tickets to your destination pop up.
Cellfire. Forget the scissors; next time you want a night on the town, log on to www.cellfire.com, enter in your postal code, and browse hundreds of online coupons for stores and restaurants. Then just download the one you want to your cell phone and show it to the venue's cashier.
3. The Vice-A-Day Deal
We've all heard that the best way to save is to curtail extraneous spending - bring lunch from home, watch movies on TV and lose the daily latte. But much the same way that cutting all fun food out of your life probably isn't the best way to diet, a bare-bones approach to saving likely won't last, either - and you'll be miserable to boot.
So instead of depriving yourself of spending money on anything, ever, try easing back: indulge in a vice a day, whether a morning cappuccino, lunch with friends, or a video rental. Not only will you save a ton by allowing just one daily extravagance, you'll appreciate the treat that much more. Take the money you would normally spend on the extra indulgences and put it into your savings account. You probably won't miss the extra dollars, but by the end of the year, you'll be rewarded with a significantly stacked bank account.
4. Trim Housing Costs
Bills are a fact of life, but that doesn't mean you can't reduce them. All it takes is a few household tweaks that can end up saving you hundreds of dollars every year.
When it comes to utilities, shop around: it's a consumer-driven marketplace and utility companies have to compete just like every other industry. Switch to a company that offers a low-cost plan that works with your lifestyle.
To avoid paying for "phantom loads", the small amount of electricity that many appliances consume even when you think they're off, take pains to unplug all appliances and electronics that aren't in use. That includes anything from cell phone chargers to your computer, DVD player and video game console.
Also, moving your thermostat a few notches creates a barely noticeable difference in temperature, but can make a significant dent in your monthly utility payments.
Another simple way to save is to install eco-friendly devices in your home, like low-flow shower heads and energy-saving appliances. With sustainability at the forefront of the social agenda, it's easier than ever to find green appliances at a low cost, and these switches will amount to a hefty reduction in your bills by year's end. And while you're giving your home an energy makeover, exchange all those incandescent light bulbs for compact fluorescent bulbs; they use 75% less energy and have a much longer lifespan.
Start Today for Tomorrow's Savings
Whatever your financial goals, it's best to tailor spending habits to your individual lifestyle. Decide what can be reasonably cut from your budget: if you can live without a morning cup of java, for example, forgo it. If not, pack your lunch instead of buying it, or frequent the video store instead of the theater. And there's no need to pass up a social life when there's plenty of entertainment that costs nothing: bike rides, beach days, picnics in the park, even museums and art galleries. Get out there, explore your city, have fun with your friends and don't ever feel the need to sacrifice your life for your savings.
ADVERTISEMENT
But even if you have a specific goal in mind - for example, digging yourself out of debt - being a penny-pincher just isn't fun. Fattening your bank account may be a priority, but so is enjoying life. And although some people equate saving money with social suicide, a healthy bank account doesn't have to mean eliminating social engagements. Realistically, a "no expenses" diet is impossible unless you're a hermit - and that's why you should focus on slashing costs where you can instead of cutting yourself off completely.
Let's take a look at a four things you can do to save like Scrooge, but without all the grumpy side effects.
1. Rethink the Luxuries
Our consumer culture is replete with new technologies and endless competition, which means nifty gadgets and superfluous luxuries have become par for the course. We're constantly bombarded with appeals to take part in the social ritual of buying products that look tempting, no matter how frivolous or unnecessary they may be. As for what we do need, advertisers are adept at selling consumers on cool-looking, costly brands, when their lesser-known, cheaper counterparts are just as good.
Of course, it's the buyer's prerogative to choose: you can go with the latest MP3 player, complete with video, email and color-coordinating accessories, or you can pick a basic, less expensive model - it might not be as fancy, but you still get music, right? Why not save your extra dollars for something that really counts?
Before you reach for your wallet, ask yourself whether the purchase is a need or a want.If it's a want, determine whether it's worth it: in the long run, would you rather have the latest iPod - and let's face it, you mostly want it because of the hype - or the peace of mind in knowing you've delayed gratification in order to afford something more meaningful? Apply this principle to every retail temptation you're faced with and you'll avoid needlessly dumping your money.
2. Surf and Save
The stereotypical clip-and-save coupon is time-consuming and limited to groceries and bargains-of-the-week, but today's e-coupons are just a mouse click away. Before planning your next night out or mini-vacation, take a minute to surf these free websites where you'll save a pretty penny:
StubHub. Saving is no fun when you're missing your favorite events. This site (www.stubhub.com), which allows you to buy tickets directly from individuals, is perfect for finding discounted tickets to your favorite band or play.
Airfare Watchdog. As soon as you've planned a trip, register at www.airfarewatchdog.com. The site tracks fares for all major airlines and will send you an email alert when cheap tickets to your destination pop up.
Cellfire. Forget the scissors; next time you want a night on the town, log on to www.cellfire.com, enter in your postal code, and browse hundreds of online coupons for stores and restaurants. Then just download the one you want to your cell phone and show it to the venue's cashier.
3. The Vice-A-Day Deal
We've all heard that the best way to save is to curtail extraneous spending - bring lunch from home, watch movies on TV and lose the daily latte. But much the same way that cutting all fun food out of your life probably isn't the best way to diet, a bare-bones approach to saving likely won't last, either - and you'll be miserable to boot.
So instead of depriving yourself of spending money on anything, ever, try easing back: indulge in a vice a day, whether a morning cappuccino, lunch with friends, or a video rental. Not only will you save a ton by allowing just one daily extravagance, you'll appreciate the treat that much more. Take the money you would normally spend on the extra indulgences and put it into your savings account. You probably won't miss the extra dollars, but by the end of the year, you'll be rewarded with a significantly stacked bank account.
4. Trim Housing Costs
Bills are a fact of life, but that doesn't mean you can't reduce them. All it takes is a few household tweaks that can end up saving you hundreds of dollars every year.
When it comes to utilities, shop around: it's a consumer-driven marketplace and utility companies have to compete just like every other industry. Switch to a company that offers a low-cost plan that works with your lifestyle.
To avoid paying for "phantom loads", the small amount of electricity that many appliances consume even when you think they're off, take pains to unplug all appliances and electronics that aren't in use. That includes anything from cell phone chargers to your computer, DVD player and video game console.
Also, moving your thermostat a few notches creates a barely noticeable difference in temperature, but can make a significant dent in your monthly utility payments.
Another simple way to save is to install eco-friendly devices in your home, like low-flow shower heads and energy-saving appliances. With sustainability at the forefront of the social agenda, it's easier than ever to find green appliances at a low cost, and these switches will amount to a hefty reduction in your bills by year's end. And while you're giving your home an energy makeover, exchange all those incandescent light bulbs for compact fluorescent bulbs; they use 75% less energy and have a much longer lifespan.
Start Today for Tomorrow's Savings
Whatever your financial goals, it's best to tailor spending habits to your individual lifestyle. Decide what can be reasonably cut from your budget: if you can live without a morning cup of java, for example, forgo it. If not, pack your lunch instead of buying it, or frequent the video store instead of the theater. And there's no need to pass up a social life when there's plenty of entertainment that costs nothing: bike rides, beach days, picnics in the park, even museums and art galleries. Get out there, explore your city, have fun with your friends and don't ever feel the need to sacrifice your life for your savings.
Moon's High School Photo & Scott Baio...The same person?...Hey Charles in Charge!!!
Click Here for "Charge in Charge Theme" song
Drop Moon a Email and tell him what you think:
www.mooninthemorning1049@yahoo.com
Monday, August 11, 2008
11 to avoid arguements
Many disagreements are petty, and though some may signal a larger problem (e.g. fighting over what time dinner is served -- which at a deeper level, may mean a couple is mired deep in major control issues), there are those disagreements that can be prevented altogether or "sidestepped."
I offer these tips that could help you stave off friction that you and your mate could do without:
1. Don't taunt your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate. This includes constant teasing, ridicule, and gestures that send your mate into a tizzy or rage. Also, avoid the body-language "comments" ranging from rolling your eyes to smirking sarcastically.
2. Change the subject. If it appears you're going down that familiar trail of bickering, ambush the conversation by jumping in with a comment on a more pleasant topic.
3. Keep to your agreements. If you say you will be on time or pick up your dirty socks, then do it. Flaking on a small agreement can escalate into something bigger. Making agreements and not keeping them -- minor or major -- can set the stage for constant arguing, and no couple needs that.
4. Hold your tongue. Though you may want to blurt out a criticism or a snide remark, restrain yourself. When you decide to keep some remarks to yourself, you may avoid petty arguments altogether. Remember that old adage: "If you can't say anything nice..."
5. Don't engage. Another famous saying: "It takes two to tango." If you refuse to play the bickering game when your mate starts in, he/she will have to look elsewhere to direct his/her jabs.
6. Forget about being right. It is oh-so tempting to want to climb all over your mate when he/she does not live up to his/her minor promises (like not getting your car washed yesterday when he/she promised). Yes, you're right: He/she is wrong, but is it worth getting into a huff about? Granted, it's irritating to count on someone for something and not have them come through, but save the "I'm right and you're wrong" for the big stuff, like when your mate says he/she will make a commitment to stop swearing in front of your parents and continues to do so.
7. Forget the "tit for tat." It's a natural response to want to get even with those who hurt your feelings or make you mad, but what does that do for your relationship? When the sun sets, wouldn't you rather snuggle up and watch it together than sulk in different rooms? There is never any point in leveling the playing field.
8. If it's not a deal-breaker, let it go. Sometimes all of us get mired in the petty things, when it is far better to roll with them. As you begin to partake in a petty argument, ask yourself whether what you're fighting over is something that could cause the demise of your relationship. If the answer is "no," then go with the flow.
9. Find another outlet for venting. Many petty arguments are a result of one person unloading on another because he/she has had a bad day. Take up boxing, swing that racket extra hard on the tennis court, get on the treadmill, run like Forrest Gump, but do not take out your bad day on your mate by picking a fight over nothing. Direct your frustration elsewhere.
10. Be prepared. If your mate gets lost every time he/she gets behind the wheel, find your destination in Yahoo! Local ahead of time. When your mate starts to complain that he/she cannot find the way, don't nag. Slide the directions over to your mate or read them off nicely.
11. Ply your sense of humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor. Make light of the pettiness; you will find the absurdity of what you're fighting over amusing. Humor is essential in any relationship. But, don't use humor -- or what you perceive as humorous -- to de-value what your mate is feeling.
Arguing over petty matters can set the stage for chronic fighting, which is exhausting. That is not to suggest that you should roll over and go with the flow all of the time. Should you give up your "self" in the process of trying to appease your mate, you can easily create even greater damage to the relationship because resentments build up over time. If the petty arguments are chronic, talk them through, or get help from a professional who can help the two of you negotiate your differences. Too much arguing or too much resentment can lead to a breakup because most people will not stay in a relationship where there is constant discord. It is best to learn to delineate the trivial differences from the big ones so that you do not set the stage for letting your differences -- large or small -- split you apart.
I offer these tips that could help you stave off friction that you and your mate could do without:
1. Don't taunt your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate.
Avoid the temptation to do or say those things that you know irritate your mate. This includes constant teasing, ridicule, and gestures that send your mate into a tizzy or rage. Also, avoid the body-language "comments" ranging from rolling your eyes to smirking sarcastically.
2. Change the subject. If it appears you're going down that familiar trail of bickering, ambush the conversation by jumping in with a comment on a more pleasant topic.
3. Keep to your agreements. If you say you will be on time or pick up your dirty socks, then do it. Flaking on a small agreement can escalate into something bigger. Making agreements and not keeping them -- minor or major -- can set the stage for constant arguing, and no couple needs that.
4. Hold your tongue. Though you may want to blurt out a criticism or a snide remark, restrain yourself. When you decide to keep some remarks to yourself, you may avoid petty arguments altogether. Remember that old adage: "If you can't say anything nice..."
5. Don't engage. Another famous saying: "It takes two to tango." If you refuse to play the bickering game when your mate starts in, he/she will have to look elsewhere to direct his/her jabs.
6. Forget about being right. It is oh-so tempting to want to climb all over your mate when he/she does not live up to his/her minor promises (like not getting your car washed yesterday when he/she promised). Yes, you're right: He/she is wrong, but is it worth getting into a huff about? Granted, it's irritating to count on someone for something and not have them come through, but save the "I'm right and you're wrong" for the big stuff, like when your mate says he/she will make a commitment to stop swearing in front of your parents and continues to do so.
7. Forget the "tit for tat." It's a natural response to want to get even with those who hurt your feelings or make you mad, but what does that do for your relationship? When the sun sets, wouldn't you rather snuggle up and watch it together than sulk in different rooms? There is never any point in leveling the playing field.
8. If it's not a deal-breaker, let it go. Sometimes all of us get mired in the petty things, when it is far better to roll with them. As you begin to partake in a petty argument, ask yourself whether what you're fighting over is something that could cause the demise of your relationship. If the answer is "no," then go with the flow.
9. Find another outlet for venting. Many petty arguments are a result of one person unloading on another because he/she has had a bad day. Take up boxing, swing that racket extra hard on the tennis court, get on the treadmill, run like Forrest Gump, but do not take out your bad day on your mate by picking a fight over nothing. Direct your frustration elsewhere.
10. Be prepared. If your mate gets lost every time he/she gets behind the wheel, find your destination in Yahoo! Local ahead of time. When your mate starts to complain that he/she cannot find the way, don't nag. Slide the directions over to your mate or read them off nicely.
11. Ply your sense of humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor.
Nothing diffuses a petty argument faster than humor. Make light of the pettiness; you will find the absurdity of what you're fighting over amusing. Humor is essential in any relationship. But, don't use humor -- or what you perceive as humorous -- to de-value what your mate is feeling.
Arguing over petty matters can set the stage for chronic fighting, which is exhausting. That is not to suggest that you should roll over and go with the flow all of the time. Should you give up your "self" in the process of trying to appease your mate, you can easily create even greater damage to the relationship because resentments build up over time. If the petty arguments are chronic, talk them through, or get help from a professional who can help the two of you negotiate your differences. Too much arguing or too much resentment can lead to a breakup because most people will not stay in a relationship where there is constant discord. It is best to learn to delineate the trivial differences from the big ones so that you do not set the stage for letting your differences -- large or small -- split you apart.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
How Jails should be
Now this is my kind of Sheriff..
USA JAIL - SOME INTERESTING READING
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA COUNTY SHERIFF ( ARIZONA) AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
These are some of the reasons why:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the 'tent city jail' to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex.
He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but 'G' movies. He says:
'They're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave.'
He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money.
Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel.
When asked why the weather channel, he replied: 'So these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.'
He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back.'
He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd 2008), the Associated Press reported: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed wire surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
On the Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were overheard chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees.
'This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace,' said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. 'It's inhumane.'
Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. 'Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.'
The same day he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: 'It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun, wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!'
Way to go, Sheriff! If all prisons were like yours there would be a lot less crime and we would not be in the current position of running out of prison spaces.
Green Bay Gambler New Logo
The Green Bay Gamblers unveiled a new logo Tuesday - but one with a familiar theme.
The junior hockey team's new logo features a Bobcat holding a hockey stick - with an ace up his sleeve.
The Bobcats were a semi-pro and junior hockey team which played in Green Bay from the mid-1950s to 1981.
“We have one of the premier franchises in the United States Hockey League and now we have one of the premier logos,” said Gamblers President Brendan Bruss. “The new look represents hockey’s past, present and future in Green Bay and we’re confident it’s one that kids will enjoy.”
The Gamblers' season - its first under new head coach John Cooper - opens Oct. 4 vs. Waterloo at the Resch Center.
This is the team's fourth primary logo. Others included a goalie mask next to a playing card; a cowboy with playing cards; and various versions of the letters "GB
Manic Mondays
JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY
Here are five tips to help you maintain your sanity on everyone's
least-favorite day
#1.) SLEEP IN. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, but hear me out.
You have to get enough sleep on Sunday night. So, even if it's just 15
more minutes on Monday morning, extra sleep will keep you happier and more
alert.
#2.) HOP OUT OF BED. When it IS time to get up, lying there and dreading
the start of your day will just make things worse. Getting out of bed on
Monday is half the battle
#3.) END YOUR SHOWER WITH COLD WATER. The extra jolt at the end of your
relaxing shower will make you more alert and ready to face the day.
#4.) LET THE SUN IN. Whether it's during a morning walk or just by
opening the blinds, exposing your body to bright sunlight will convince
your body to wake up.
#5.) PREPARE AHEAD AT WORK. Being greeted by a clean desk and a to-do
list on Monday can ease you into the work week. Do what you can on Friday
afternoon to make your Monday easier
Here are five tips to help you maintain your sanity on everyone's
least-favorite day
#1.) SLEEP IN. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, but hear me out.
You have to get enough sleep on Sunday night. So, even if it's just 15
more minutes on Monday morning, extra sleep will keep you happier and more
alert.
#2.) HOP OUT OF BED. When it IS time to get up, lying there and dreading
the start of your day will just make things worse. Getting out of bed on
Monday is half the battle
#3.) END YOUR SHOWER WITH COLD WATER. The extra jolt at the end of your
relaxing shower will make you more alert and ready to face the day.
#4.) LET THE SUN IN. Whether it's during a morning walk or just by
opening the blinds, exposing your body to bright sunlight will convince
your body to wake up.
#5.) PREPARE AHEAD AT WORK. Being greeted by a clean desk and a to-do
list on Monday can ease you into the work week. Do what you can on Friday
afternoon to make your Monday easier
Friday, July 18, 2008
We Love Brett, But enough already....make up your friggin' mind!Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Kids Summer Toys
Kids love playing with water toys, especially in the hot summer. There's nothing better than splashing around with water on a sultry hot summer's afternoon. Water toy guns are a hot favorite among boys and girls alike. Water toys like water sprinkers, bubble blowers, and other water toys to use in the pools are very popular with the young ones. Here are some great water toys that your kids will enjoy.
1. Little Tikes Ultimate Beach Ball Sprinkler
This wonderful summer water toy is sure to be a big hit with the kids. This big beach ball inflates and connects to your water hose. When the water is turned on, the ball turns into a sprinker, with water spraying out on all sides. This water toy is perfect for your backyard or garden and will keep the kids busy for a while.
Buy Direct
Sponsored Links
Water Toys Outdoor Toys
Browse a wide selection at MSN Shopping. Compare Prices & More.
Shopping.MSN.com
Kids Outdoor Toys
Backyard water slides, bouncers, swingsets. Great selection!
www.Top-Toys-Kids.com
Hottest Toy on the Lake
Impress your friends: Walk on Water Fun, safe, no-hassle fun for all
www.theWaterMat.com
2. Rainbow Reef Magic Action Trigger Fish
These realistic, as the name suggests, brightly colored tropical looking toy fish really swim once they are in the water. These battery operated fish will transform your swimming pool or water body into a tropical paradise. A great water toy to have to impress friends and family.
Buy Direct3. Bubble Mower
Bubbles and kids get along famously! This cleverly designed Bubble Mower from Fisher-Price is a push-along toy which can also blow bubbles. Kids will love to pretend to mow the lawn with this brightly colored outdoor toy and watch the big bubbles come out. You have to fill the dispenser with the bubble solution provided. The bubble solution can be replaced with other solution bought elsewhere.
Buy Direct4. Naturally Playful Sand and Water Activity Center
This handy sand and water play center is ideal for your backyard. Nicely blending in with outdoorsy textures and colors, this center comes with an umbrella to sheild your child from the hot sun. There are 2 partitions, one for upto 20 lbs of sand and the other for upto 2 gallons of water. A great alternative to a traditional sandbox, not to mention the added fun with water too.
5. Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast
The Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast is great toy water gun with 2 options - spray a stream of water through the main nozzle, or add ice to the water for some extra shocks! Very promising water toy for some great water fights in your backyard!
Buy Direct6. Bounce 'Round Splash & Glide Water Slide
This is a huge 8 ft water slide which promises to be a wet and wild adventure for your kids. The Waterslide includes a 5' x 14.5' bounce with a combined 25 feet of water run sliding. Sturdy and strong, this water toy slide is a expensive investment, but if you are looking for excitement in your own backyard, you could go in for it.
Manufacturer's Site7. Toypedo Pool Toy
This simple yet fascinating pool water toy is an underwater torpedo. Throw it into the pool, and watch it slice through the depths of the water. Kids will have lots of fun diving after this toy, and enjoy playing games with it.
8. Gazillion JumBubbler
This is an awesome bubble blower from Funrise Toys. The size of these bubbles is amazing, and will fascinate and engage your child! A 32 oz bubble solution of Gazillion blue bubble solution is included with the bubble maker. This fun bubble making toy comes highly recommended.
Buy Direct9. Swimways 2-in-1 Pool Basketball and Volleyball
Turn your swimming pool into a basketball or volleyball court with this versatile pool game. Included are a pro-style basketball and volleyball, along with a 20 ft net.
10. Poolmaster Volcano Island Inflatable Pool Toy
The Poolmaster floating pool toy is modelled along the lines of an erupting volcano. Simply plug the water toy into your garden hose and watch the fun as the volcano erupts. This fun filled floating toy has 4 side chambers and one underwater chamber from which to enter, and is strong and durable for hours of fun.
1. Little Tikes Ultimate Beach Ball Sprinkler
This wonderful summer water toy is sure to be a big hit with the kids. This big beach ball inflates and connects to your water hose. When the water is turned on, the ball turns into a sprinker, with water spraying out on all sides. This water toy is perfect for your backyard or garden and will keep the kids busy for a while.
Buy Direct
Sponsored Links
Water Toys Outdoor Toys
Browse a wide selection at MSN Shopping. Compare Prices & More.
Shopping.MSN.com
Kids Outdoor Toys
Backyard water slides, bouncers, swingsets. Great selection!
www.Top-Toys-Kids.com
Hottest Toy on the Lake
Impress your friends: Walk on Water Fun, safe, no-hassle fun for all
www.theWaterMat.com
2. Rainbow Reef Magic Action Trigger Fish
These realistic, as the name suggests, brightly colored tropical looking toy fish really swim once they are in the water. These battery operated fish will transform your swimming pool or water body into a tropical paradise. A great water toy to have to impress friends and family.
Buy Direct3. Bubble Mower
Bubbles and kids get along famously! This cleverly designed Bubble Mower from Fisher-Price is a push-along toy which can also blow bubbles. Kids will love to pretend to mow the lawn with this brightly colored outdoor toy and watch the big bubbles come out. You have to fill the dispenser with the bubble solution provided. The bubble solution can be replaced with other solution bought elsewhere.
Buy Direct4. Naturally Playful Sand and Water Activity Center
This handy sand and water play center is ideal for your backyard. Nicely blending in with outdoorsy textures and colors, this center comes with an umbrella to sheild your child from the hot sun. There are 2 partitions, one for upto 20 lbs of sand and the other for upto 2 gallons of water. A great alternative to a traditional sandbox, not to mention the added fun with water too.
5. Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast
The Hasbro Super Soaker Artic Blast is great toy water gun with 2 options - spray a stream of water through the main nozzle, or add ice to the water for some extra shocks! Very promising water toy for some great water fights in your backyard!
Buy Direct6. Bounce 'Round Splash & Glide Water Slide
This is a huge 8 ft water slide which promises to be a wet and wild adventure for your kids. The Waterslide includes a 5' x 14.5' bounce with a combined 25 feet of water run sliding. Sturdy and strong, this water toy slide is a expensive investment, but if you are looking for excitement in your own backyard, you could go in for it.
Manufacturer's Site7. Toypedo Pool Toy
This simple yet fascinating pool water toy is an underwater torpedo. Throw it into the pool, and watch it slice through the depths of the water. Kids will have lots of fun diving after this toy, and enjoy playing games with it.
8. Gazillion JumBubbler
This is an awesome bubble blower from Funrise Toys. The size of these bubbles is amazing, and will fascinate and engage your child! A 32 oz bubble solution of Gazillion blue bubble solution is included with the bubble maker. This fun bubble making toy comes highly recommended.
Buy Direct9. Swimways 2-in-1 Pool Basketball and Volleyball
Turn your swimming pool into a basketball or volleyball court with this versatile pool game. Included are a pro-style basketball and volleyball, along with a 20 ft net.
10. Poolmaster Volcano Island Inflatable Pool Toy
The Poolmaster floating pool toy is modelled along the lines of an erupting volcano. Simply plug the water toy into your garden hose and watch the fun as the volcano erupts. This fun filled floating toy has 4 side chambers and one underwater chamber from which to enter, and is strong and durable for hours of fun.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
hormone hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: How about some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Would you like some chocolate?
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Olga's Messages left by Dimitri
Ok...so If you missed the calls from Dimitri on this Morning's MOON In The Morning Here is the rundown.
My Friend Judy took a roadtrip with a bunch of girls down to Chicago for a weekend of fun. They Met up with a girl named Olga...
They all went out clubbin' and had a great time. As they were outside the bar waiting for a cab. Olga was approached by a man named Dimitri, they talk
for at the most 2 minutes. Olga then hands Dimitri her business card and says
call me.
CLICK HERE for is the ACTUAL VOICEMAIL that Dimitri left her.
Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you’ll fall out of your
chair!! Can you say Pompous A**!
My Friend Judy took a roadtrip with a bunch of girls down to Chicago for a weekend of fun. They Met up with a girl named Olga...
They all went out clubbin' and had a great time. As they were outside the bar waiting for a cab. Olga was approached by a man named Dimitri, they talk
for at the most 2 minutes. Olga then hands Dimitri her business card and says
call me.
CLICK HERE for is the ACTUAL VOICEMAIL that Dimitri left her.
Wait till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you’ll fall out of your
chair!! Can you say Pompous A**!
Cooter's Redneck Love Poem
A REDNECK LOVE POEM (THANK YOU Cooter)
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL...'
'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL...'
'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sress Relief
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management
technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing
is that it works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding
underwater.
8. See - You're smiling already!
technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing
is that it works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding
underwater.
8. See - You're smiling already!
It's never how you dreamed it would be....but
Contributed by: Beth Schwartz on 7/6/2008
You know? I love being a mom, but all of those wonderful activities with your children you fantasize about so lovingly happening before you actually have children, never seem to go the way they were dreamed.
At least with my kids! Take my son's baseball game the other day. A perfect example:
It's a beautiful summer evening as we arrive at the baseball field for my 8 year old's game, teenage daughter and middle son in tow along with the excited player himself.
The kids excitedly take off for the field while I lock up the car and when I turn the corner, I see my 11 year old laying helplessly on the sidewalk writhing in pain and crying. He had taken a major digger and was bleeding from the elbow, side and knee.
Now you have to know that I have been really excited the past few years because I have been reaching some mile stones in the parenting world; no more car seats, sippy cup and bottles, being able to NOT get in the pool anymore with the kids.. (a big one), and of course not having to lug a baby seat, stroller and diaper bag full of drinks, snacks, toys (scotch tape is a good toy for some reason) and of course the first aid kit and bandaids!
So I help him up and have to use my.. ugh shirt to wipe of the dirt, blood and tears the best I can. A nice mom, who apparently still has smaller children and is thus still very well equipped, takes pity on me and lends me a couple bandaids.
Ah, trauma over, not so bad.
My younger son has a great game!!!!!!! He made 3 outs, was hitting 3 for 3 and had a few RBI's and I think to myself, "Yeah. Now THIS is what I have always dreamed" which, in hindsight , really means now something really bad is about to happen..
He is at short stop, pop fly! I know he can catch it! He has practiced so hard!
I see the ball flying through the air and it is coming right for him! In a spit second I glance at him and there he is, mit up, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, eyes on the ball when .... I lose sight of the ball in the sun.
Apparently he did too and it finds its way down, a direct hit to his nose. Play stops for a second while the third base coach from the other team sees if he is ok. I see my son nodding his head , "shaking it off.. manning up" and within a flash, play resumes, but my eyes never leave him.
His left hand is in his glove, held up for the ready, but his right hand is still covering his nose.. Hard to see if it is bleeding. I scan the feild, all players and coaches (except the third base coach) have totally moved on to the next batter and the game.
I scan the onlookers, parents watching, for their son's next great play, my 11 year old still holding his elbow in his hand, trying to hold back tears for an arm he is sure is broken, daughter oblivious to the world with her phone in hand texting her fan club and smiling in her own little universe.
No one but me (and the third base coach) thinking it is not right that he won't take his hand away. I see his little eyes dart to me with the look of "HELP"!! So I ask him to take his hand away.
He does and a Mt. St Helens eruption of gushing blood starts making its way down his face and onto his shirt and cleats below. Immediately he puts his hand back to his nose andI can see it starting to flow through his fingers!
And again, I look the the players , coaches and parents. Nothing. Finally the third base coach , looking a little peeked perhaps at the sight of blood, again asks him if he is ok and he too starts looking to stop play.
Finally I decide i have to do the unthinkable (at least in the mind of a child) and go out on the field to pull him out. The second my son sees mom walking onto the field he takes off, running away from the ONE person who just seconds before he had been screaming silently to help him with his huge brown eyes!
When I finally catch him, I realize how unpreparedI am and again, have to use my shirt to try and block the flow of blood coming from his now gushing nostril.
Thankfully the game ended there after and as we walked back to the car I could just imagine what we looked like.
The 4 of us, walking in slow motion away from a "battle". One with his bat slung over his shoulder and a piece of toilet paper wedged and protruding from his nose, one with his head down, cradling his damaged elbow in his good arm, me covered in blood and dirt looking like I just shot a spot in "Die Hard 5 - Nightmare at the Ball Park", and my daughter, trailing behind, phone still in her hand with fingers busily pressing keys, totaly unaware that she is even on the planet.
The nice mom who offered up the bandaids earlier said , "Boy, this just wasn't your night" with a polite smile and I thought to myself... "Ya, but it makes my life.. mine and I wouldn't give it up for the world".
I'm glad life doesn't always go on like you dream ...
You know? I love being a mom, but all of those wonderful activities with your children you fantasize about so lovingly happening before you actually have children, never seem to go the way they were dreamed.
At least with my kids! Take my son's baseball game the other day. A perfect example:
It's a beautiful summer evening as we arrive at the baseball field for my 8 year old's game, teenage daughter and middle son in tow along with the excited player himself.
The kids excitedly take off for the field while I lock up the car and when I turn the corner, I see my 11 year old laying helplessly on the sidewalk writhing in pain and crying. He had taken a major digger and was bleeding from the elbow, side and knee.
Now you have to know that I have been really excited the past few years because I have been reaching some mile stones in the parenting world; no more car seats, sippy cup and bottles, being able to NOT get in the pool anymore with the kids.. (a big one), and of course not having to lug a baby seat, stroller and diaper bag full of drinks, snacks, toys (scotch tape is a good toy for some reason) and of course the first aid kit and bandaids!
So I help him up and have to use my.. ugh shirt to wipe of the dirt, blood and tears the best I can. A nice mom, who apparently still has smaller children and is thus still very well equipped, takes pity on me and lends me a couple bandaids.
Ah, trauma over, not so bad.
My younger son has a great game!!!!!!! He made 3 outs, was hitting 3 for 3 and had a few RBI's and I think to myself, "Yeah. Now THIS is what I have always dreamed" which, in hindsight , really means now something really bad is about to happen..
He is at short stop, pop fly! I know he can catch it! He has practiced so hard!
I see the ball flying through the air and it is coming right for him! In a spit second I glance at him and there he is, mit up, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, eyes on the ball when .... I lose sight of the ball in the sun.
Apparently he did too and it finds its way down, a direct hit to his nose. Play stops for a second while the third base coach from the other team sees if he is ok. I see my son nodding his head , "shaking it off.. manning up" and within a flash, play resumes, but my eyes never leave him.
His left hand is in his glove, held up for the ready, but his right hand is still covering his nose.. Hard to see if it is bleeding. I scan the feild, all players and coaches (except the third base coach) have totally moved on to the next batter and the game.
I scan the onlookers, parents watching, for their son's next great play, my 11 year old still holding his elbow in his hand, trying to hold back tears for an arm he is sure is broken, daughter oblivious to the world with her phone in hand texting her fan club and smiling in her own little universe.
No one but me (and the third base coach) thinking it is not right that he won't take his hand away. I see his little eyes dart to me with the look of "HELP"!! So I ask him to take his hand away.
He does and a Mt. St Helens eruption of gushing blood starts making its way down his face and onto his shirt and cleats below. Immediately he puts his hand back to his nose andI can see it starting to flow through his fingers!
And again, I look the the players , coaches and parents. Nothing. Finally the third base coach , looking a little peeked perhaps at the sight of blood, again asks him if he is ok and he too starts looking to stop play.
Finally I decide i have to do the unthinkable (at least in the mind of a child) and go out on the field to pull him out. The second my son sees mom walking onto the field he takes off, running away from the ONE person who just seconds before he had been screaming silently to help him with his huge brown eyes!
When I finally catch him, I realize how unpreparedI am and again, have to use my shirt to try and block the flow of blood coming from his now gushing nostril.
Thankfully the game ended there after and as we walked back to the car I could just imagine what we looked like.
The 4 of us, walking in slow motion away from a "battle". One with his bat slung over his shoulder and a piece of toilet paper wedged and protruding from his nose, one with his head down, cradling his damaged elbow in his good arm, me covered in blood and dirt looking like I just shot a spot in "Die Hard 5 - Nightmare at the Ball Park", and my daughter, trailing behind, phone still in her hand with fingers busily pressing keys, totaly unaware that she is even on the planet.
The nice mom who offered up the bandaids earlier said , "Boy, this just wasn't your night" with a polite smile and I thought to myself... "Ya, but it makes my life.. mine and I wouldn't give it up for the world".
I'm glad life doesn't always go on like you dream ...
Monday, July 7, 2008
Ultra low rides...would you let your daughter's wear these?
CHECK OUT THESE ULTRA LOW-RIDER JEANS!
Mom, would you let your daughter out of the house wearing these?
A Brazilian clothing company called Sanna has created jeans that have the thongs BUILT into them, so that the jeans can hang SUPER low without falling off.
Old Flame (talk topic for 7.8.08)
OLD FLAME:
Moon recently received an email from an old college girlfriend. It
seems that she had come across his MySpace Page (what a follower).
They hadn’t talked since they were in college, so she updated Moon on
her life.
She went on and on and while Laura was reading the email, he wondered if
she was still as hot as she was in college (pervert). Moon told her
about his family and his kids and that he would send her a pic of his family. She thought
that was great and said that she would send Moon a picture of her family
too, “But”… Moon got excited, because he thought he was going to get
to see what she looked like, but no. Her “But” stopped him in his tracks.
She said that she would like to send him a picture, but she wasn’t in it. Why?
She said she got fat and didn’t want him to see her that way. Moon told
her that nobody cared that she got fat, just send the picture.. He told
her he also got fat too.
So is it good to see an ex from the past.. or should you just go on
remembering the good old days?
Moon recently received an email from an old college girlfriend. It
seems that she had come across his MySpace Page (what a follower).
They hadn’t talked since they were in college, so she updated Moon on
her life.
She went on and on and while Laura was reading the email, he wondered if
she was still as hot as she was in college (pervert). Moon told her
about his family and his kids and that he would send her a pic of his family. She thought
that was great and said that she would send Moon a picture of her family
too, “But”… Moon got excited, because he thought he was going to get
to see what she looked like, but no. Her “But” stopped him in his tracks.
She said that she would like to send him a picture, but she wasn’t in it. Why?
She said she got fat and didn’t want him to see her that way. Moon told
her that nobody cared that she got fat, just send the picture.. He told
her he also got fat too.
So is it good to see an ex from the past.. or should you just go on
remembering the good old days?
BARBEQUING LIKE A REAL MAN SHOULD
Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do. When
man declares he will BBQ, the following chain of events is
put into
motion:
1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the
man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off. And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just
no pleasing a woman.
man declares he will BBQ, the following chain of events is
put into
motion:
1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the
man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off. And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just
no pleasing a woman.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
The Origins of your favorite muppets
The Quick 10: The Origins of 10 of Your Favorite Muppets
I, like a lot of you, grew up on Sesame Street and the Muppets. But do you ever stop to wonder where they came from? Some of the characters we know and love today were recycled from other T.V. shows and commercials Jim Henson worked on and others were invented by using whatever materials were around. Be prepared for a little nostalgia for today’s Q10. And don’t be offended if I left out some of your favorites (I know, Big Bird?!) – not all of the characters have interesting background stories. But if you know the story behind one that I left out, share with us in the comments!
The Origins of 10 of Your Favorite Muppets
1. Cookie Monster. Jim Henson drew some monsters eating various snacks for a General Foods commercial in 1966. The commercial was never used, but Henson recycled one of the monsters (the “Wheel-Stealer”) for an IBM training video in 1967 and again for a Fritos commercial in 1969. By this time, he started working on Sesame Street and decided this monster would have a home there.
2. Elmo. The way it’s described by a Sesame Street writer, apparently this extra red puppet was just lying around. People would pick him up and try to do something with him, but nothing really panned out. In 1984, puppeteer Kevin Clash picked up the red puppet and started doing the voice and the personality and it clicked – thus, Elmo was born.
3. Telly Monster was originally the Television Monster when he debuted in 1979. He was obsessed with T.V. and his eves would whirl around as if hypnotized whenever he was in front of a set. After a while, producers started worrying about his influence on youngsters, so they changed him to make him the chronic worrier he is now.
4. Count von Count made his first appearance in 1972 and was made out of an Anything Muppet pattern – a blank Muppet head that could have features added to it to make various characters. He used to be more sinister – he was able to hypnotize and stun people and he laughed in typical scary-villain-type fashion after completing a count of something and thunder and lightning would occur. He was quickly made more appealing to little kids, though. He is apparently quite the ladies’ man – he has been linked to Countess von Backward, who loves to count backward; Countess Dahling von Dahling and Lady Two.5. Kermit was “born” in 1955 and first showed up on Sam and Friends, a five-minute puppet show by Jim Henson. The first Kermit was made out of Henson’s mom’s coat and some ping pong balls. At the time, he was more lizard-like than frog-like. By the time he showed up on Sesame Street in 1969, though, he had made the transition to frog. There are rumors that he got the name Kermit from a childhood friend of Henson’s or a puppeteer from the early days of the Muppets, but Henson always refuted both of those rumors.
6. Real Swedish Chef Lars “Kuprik” Bäckman claims he was the inspiration for the Swedish Chef. He was on Good Morning America, he says, and caught Jim Henson’s eye. Henson supposedly bought the rights to the Good Morning America recording and created the Swedish Chef (who DOES have a real name, but it’s not understandable). One of the Muppet writers, Jerry Juhl, says that in all of the years of working with Jim Henson on the Swedish Chef, he never heard that the character was based on a real person.
7. Animal - Everyone’s favorite member of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem may have been inspired by Keith Moon of The Who. This is speculation, but people who support this theory will point out that Jim Henson named one of the Fraggle Rock characters “Wembley”, which is the town Moon was born in.
8. Miss Piggy is apparently from Iowa. Makes sense. Anyway, she started as a minor character on The Muppet Show, but anyone who knows Miss Piggy can see that she wouldn’t settle for anything “minor”. Her first T.V. appearance was actually on an Herb Alpert special. It wasn’t until 1976, when The Muppet Show premiered, that she became the glamorous blonde with a penchant for frog that we know and love today. Frank Oz once said that Miss Piggy grew up in Iowa; her dad died when she was young and her mother was mean. She had to enter beauty contests to make money.
9. Rowlf the dog, surprise, surprise, was first made in 1962 for a series of Purina Dog Chow commercials. He went on to claim fame as Jimmy Dean’s sidekick on The Jimmy Dean Show and was on every single episode from 1963 to 1966. Jimmy Dean said Rowlf got about 2,000 letters from fans every week. He was considered for Sesame Street but ended up becoming a regular on The Muppet Show in 1976.
10. Oscar the Grouch is performed by the same guy who does Big Bird, Carroll Spinney. Spinney said he based Oscar’s cranky voice on a particular NYC cab driver he once had the pleasure of riding with. He was originally an alarming shade of orange. In Pakistan, his name is Akhtar and he lives in an oil barrel. In Turkey, he is Kirpik and lives in a basket. And in Israel, it’s not Oscar at all – it’s his cousin, Moishe Oofnik, who lives in an old car.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Worst Chain Breakfasts....yikes!
Worst Chain Breakfast Diet-Busters & Satisfying Swaps
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Hungry Girl is here with the 411 on some flab-inducing breakfasts, and recipe swaps that slash calories and fat FAST!
Attack of the 1,210-Calorie Veggie Omelette!
At IHOP, you might think ordering the spinach and mushroom omelette is a good idea -- but this egg disaster has a shocking 1,210 calories (eeeks!). Instead, try HG's Ginormous Oven-Baked Omelette -- you can have a giant piece of our protein-packed omelette for just 140 calories and 3g fat! An added bonus? You can make it the night before and then simply heat 'n' eat in the AM!
79-Grams-of-Fat French Toast!
Even if you're DYING for French toast, avoid Denny's Fabulous French Toast Platter at all costs. This freaky breakfast plate will cost you 1,261 calories and 79g fat! Instead of feasting on this diet dud, try HG's Cinnamonlicious French Toast. It has just 170 calories and 1g fat. And if you crave the sausage links and bacon slices this platter comes with, go for Morningstar Farms' Sausage Links (2 links = 80 calories and 3g fat) and Jennie-O's Extra Lean Turkey Bacon (2 slices = 40 calories and 1g fat). Then finish it off with sugar-free pancake syrup!
Morning Muffin Mayhem!
McDonald's regular Egg McMuffin has 300 calories and 12g fat. For a tiny little muffin? And if you slip up and order the one with sausage, you'll be gobbling up 450 calories and 27g fat. YIKES!! Try HG's Egga Muffin instead, for only 165 calories and 1.5g fat.
600-Calorie B-Fast Sandwich Alert!
Subway may be known for its low-fat sub menu, but think twice before grabbing the sandwich chain's 6-inch Chipotle Steak and Cheese Breakfast Omelet Sandwich. That meaty monstrosity has 600 calories and 32 grams of fat! If you wanna go Southwestern, you'd be way better off with HG's Bueno Breakfast Burrito, with only 170 calories and 5g fat.Slam Don't! (Denny's 1,040-Calorie Dud!)
So you're starving ... and you order up Denny's Lumberjack Slam with hash browns. (The thing already includes pancakes, ham, bacon, sausage, AND eggs!) How can we say this politely -- BAD IDEA!!! This massive morning mistake is loaded with 1,040 calories and 53g fat! If you crave a little bit of everything, why not whip up our Super Duper Veggie Scramble (only 150 calories and 5g fat), HG's Very Blueberry Pancakes (201 calories and 2g fat), and our Butternut Hash Browns (85 calories and 1g fat)? ALL of that would cost you only 436 calories and 8g fat -- that's less than HALF the calories and EIGHTY FIVE percent less fat than Denny's Lumberjack disaster!
Signs you can tell your about to break up
When it comes to breaking up, hindsight is 20/20. But wouldn't it be nice if you could tell that you and your partner were headed for a falling out before it happened?
Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.
Red Flag #1: Tuning Out
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.
The Cure: Take Down the Wall
Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner's feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.
Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with Fire
Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.
The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames
The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that's not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?," you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don't engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can't fight fire with fire if the other person won't engage in the flame-throwing.
Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own Up
No one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.
The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don't try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple... but it can save your relationship.
By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.
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Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.
Red Flag #1: Tuning Out
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.
The Cure: Take Down the Wall
Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner's feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.
Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with Fire
Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.
The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames
The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that's not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?," you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don't engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can't fight fire with fire if the other person won't engage in the flame-throwing.
Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own Up
No one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.
The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don't try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple... but it can save your relationship.
By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Seminars I found in the NWTC Registration pamphlet
SEMINARS FOR WOMEN . . . . . .
- Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV- Doing Housework Without Complaining- Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge- Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look Fat?"- Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother- Sex: Learning How to Initiate- The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle- Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World- Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours- Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases- Nagging: Stop the Insanity!
SEMINARS FOR MEN .....
- You Too Can Do Housework- P.M.S: Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut- How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray- Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM- Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception- You, The Weaker Sex- Reasons To Give Flowers- How To Stay Awake After Sex- Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom- You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try- The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous- How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost- The Remote Control; Overcoming Your Dependency- Fluffing the Blankets After Farting: Why it Doesn't Work
- Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV- Doing Housework Without Complaining- Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge- Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look Fat?"- Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother- Sex: Learning How to Initiate- The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle- Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World- Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours- Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases- Nagging: Stop the Insanity!
SEMINARS FOR MEN .....
- You Too Can Do Housework- P.M.S: Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut- How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray- Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM- Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception- You, The Weaker Sex- Reasons To Give Flowers- How To Stay Awake After Sex- Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom- You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try- The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous- How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost- The Remote Control; Overcoming Your Dependency- Fluffing the Blankets After Farting: Why it Doesn't Work
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Purse lady update...part 4
We sent out the purse loaded with all our goodies collected from listeners on the street. Sour cream, pretzels, guacamole, confetti and much more...we put all her belongings in a palstic bag, and put the purse and bag in a box. It was shipped out Friday....No angry calls from Purse lady or lawyers yet. We will keep you posted!
If you missed the story..check out the audio on our Moon podcasts...
thanks...we love ya!!
Moon
If you missed the story..check out the audio on our Moon podcasts...
thanks...we love ya!!
Moon
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Baby born with second penis on back
The tot was born to farmer dad Li Jun, 30, and his unnamed wife, who live in Hejian city in central China's Henan province.
But he was rushed to Tianjin Childrens' Hospital on May 27 for surgery to remove his extra manhood.
The rare condition, the first for Tianjin Childrens' Hospital, is called fetus in fetu (FIF).
Doctors, who spent over three hours removing the extra penis on June 6, said he was fine following surgery.
Nicr guys do finish last
Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:
Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:
Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Engagement Chicken
We found this article in Glamour Magazine.
First comes chicken, then comes marriage? Be skeptical if you must,
but this recipe may be charmed. It all began 26 years ago, when
then-Glamour fashion editor Kim Bonnell gave the recipe to her
assistant, Kathy Suder, who made the chicken for her boyfriend,
who, a month later, asked her to marry him. "It's a meal your wife
would make. It got me thinking," says Jon Suder, who now has three
children with Kathy. Details of the simple dish passed from assistant
to assistant like a culinary chain letter. When Bonnell heard that
her recipe had inspired three weddings, she dubbed it Engagement
Chicken.
How to make "Engagement Chicken"
Serves 2 to 3
1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
Kosher or sea salt
Ground black pepper
2 lemons, plus 1 for garnish
Fresh herbs for garnish
Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400°F. Remove
giblets, wash chicken inside and out with cold water, then let it
drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room
temperature (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels.
Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season
with salt and pepper. Prick two whole lemons three times with a
fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard,
roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place
bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to
350°F and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn
it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35
minutes more. Test for doneness--a meat thermometer inserted in
the thigh should read 180°F, or juices should run clear when
chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let
chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.
Garnish with fresh herbs and lemon
First comes chicken, then comes marriage? Be skeptical if you must,
but this recipe may be charmed. It all began 26 years ago, when
then-Glamour fashion editor Kim Bonnell gave the recipe to her
assistant, Kathy Suder, who made the chicken for her boyfriend,
who, a month later, asked her to marry him. "It's a meal your wife
would make. It got me thinking," says Jon Suder, who now has three
children with Kathy. Details of the simple dish passed from assistant
to assistant like a culinary chain letter. When Bonnell heard that
her recipe had inspired three weddings, she dubbed it Engagement
Chicken.
How to make "Engagement Chicken"
Serves 2 to 3
1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
Kosher or sea salt
Ground black pepper
2 lemons, plus 1 for garnish
Fresh herbs for garnish
Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400°F. Remove
giblets, wash chicken inside and out with cold water, then let it
drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room
temperature (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels.
Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season
with salt and pepper. Prick two whole lemons three times with a
fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard,
roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place
bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to
350°F and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn
it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35
minutes more. Test for doneness--a meat thermometer inserted in
the thigh should read 180°F, or juices should run clear when
chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let
chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.
Garnish with fresh herbs and lemon
Monday, June 16, 2008
redneck southern dictionary
Redneck Southern Dictionary
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1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments." (Correction: Capitol is Montgomery - thanks, G. MacCrone!)
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."
NEW ADDITIONS (2/2/06):
29) JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
NEW ADDITION (2/16/06):
32) TRAMPOLINE - (noun) - A bed that you can't get in trouble for jumping on.
NEW ADDITION (5/31/06):
33) WRENCH OFF (verb) - what you do instead of taking a shower. Usage: "Let me go wrench off before we go out tonight."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments." (Correction: Capitol is Montgomery - thanks, G. MacCrone!)
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."
NEW ADDITIONS (2/2/06):
29) JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
NEW ADDITION (2/16/06):
32) TRAMPOLINE - (noun) - A bed that you can't get in trouble for jumping on.
NEW ADDITION (5/31/06):
33) WRENCH OFF (verb) - what you do instead of taking a shower. Usage: "Let me go wrench off before we go out tonight."
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Inspiration by RUDY
Insight #1
Be the person you want to be. "Make the decision to take action and move closer to your Dream. Create daily success habits and surround yourself with information that will empower and inspire you."
Insight #2
Use anger in a positive way to get results. "Anger is a normal reaction. It's what you do with anger that makes a difference in your life ... direct your anger towards a goal ... use anger in a positive way to get results ... from anger comes determination ... comes triumph."
Insight #3
It starts with a Dream. "Visualize your Dream and make a commitment. Having a Dream is what makes life exciting. Never underestimate the power of a Dream. It will change your life. A Dream gives you the ability to determine your future."
Insight #4
Eliminate the confusion. "Find mentors who encourage you. The right information will eliminate confusion. Visualize exactly what you want to be ... and focus on that ... believe in yourself and don't let anything stop you. Reinforce your Dream every day with positive information from tapes, books, and mentors. Each day you will get closer to your Dream. Eliminate the confusion and fears, and make it happen."
Insight #5
The greater the struggle, the greater the victory. "Most people allow struggles and fear of failure to stop them. The key is to learn from your struggles and move on. Failures will make you stronger and give you the information you need to reach your Dream. Struggle will prepare you for success. Without struggle there is no success."
Insight #6
Follow your passion instead of the dollar. "There's nothing wrong with making money ... but, it's important to focus on your passion instead of the dollar. For me, decisions based on my passion brought me closer to my Dream, while decisions based only on money took me further away. If you focus on what really fulfills you, you will have success. The dollar alone does not bring happiness."
Insight #7
Excuses will kill your Dream. "What we're really talking about here is commitment. Until you make a commitment to your Dream, it's not really a Dream ... it's just another fantasy full of excuses. Fantasies don't come true because they're not real, we're not committed to them. When we make commitments, we eliminate excuses and they become Dreams ... and Dreams are definitely real."
Insight #8
Prepare for your Dream. "Preparation is what comes from struggle. Knowledge comes from preparation. These are the elements that pave the road to your Dream. If we do not prepare we will not succeed. Set your goals and pursue your Dreams with all your heart. If you miss a goal, don't quit, reset it! You just need to learn more ... step by step you will win!"
Insight #9
Focus on your Dream and Never Quit. It is always too soon to quit. If you quit, you can't succeed. By achieving your Dream you will be an inspiration to others. You will set the example and make an enormous impact on the world. Make it happen!"
Insight #10
Always have a Dream. "Dreams give us energy to go to new levels. Dreams change lives ... the power of life is in your Dreams!"
Be the person you want to be. "Make the decision to take action and move closer to your Dream. Create daily success habits and surround yourself with information that will empower and inspire you."
Insight #2
Use anger in a positive way to get results. "Anger is a normal reaction. It's what you do with anger that makes a difference in your life ... direct your anger towards a goal ... use anger in a positive way to get results ... from anger comes determination ... comes triumph."
Insight #3
It starts with a Dream. "Visualize your Dream and make a commitment. Having a Dream is what makes life exciting. Never underestimate the power of a Dream. It will change your life. A Dream gives you the ability to determine your future."
Insight #4
Eliminate the confusion. "Find mentors who encourage you. The right information will eliminate confusion. Visualize exactly what you want to be ... and focus on that ... believe in yourself and don't let anything stop you. Reinforce your Dream every day with positive information from tapes, books, and mentors. Each day you will get closer to your Dream. Eliminate the confusion and fears, and make it happen."
Insight #5
The greater the struggle, the greater the victory. "Most people allow struggles and fear of failure to stop them. The key is to learn from your struggles and move on. Failures will make you stronger and give you the information you need to reach your Dream. Struggle will prepare you for success. Without struggle there is no success."
Insight #6
Follow your passion instead of the dollar. "There's nothing wrong with making money ... but, it's important to focus on your passion instead of the dollar. For me, decisions based on my passion brought me closer to my Dream, while decisions based only on money took me further away. If you focus on what really fulfills you, you will have success. The dollar alone does not bring happiness."
Insight #7
Excuses will kill your Dream. "What we're really talking about here is commitment. Until you make a commitment to your Dream, it's not really a Dream ... it's just another fantasy full of excuses. Fantasies don't come true because they're not real, we're not committed to them. When we make commitments, we eliminate excuses and they become Dreams ... and Dreams are definitely real."
Insight #8
Prepare for your Dream. "Preparation is what comes from struggle. Knowledge comes from preparation. These are the elements that pave the road to your Dream. If we do not prepare we will not succeed. Set your goals and pursue your Dreams with all your heart. If you miss a goal, don't quit, reset it! You just need to learn more ... step by step you will win!"
Insight #9
Focus on your Dream and Never Quit. It is always too soon to quit. If you quit, you can't succeed. By achieving your Dream you will be an inspiration to others. You will set the example and make an enormous impact on the world. Make it happen!"
Insight #10
Always have a Dream. "Dreams give us energy to go to new levels. Dreams change lives ... the power of life is in your Dreams!"
Thursday, June 12, 2008
FORWARDED EMAILS
I normally don’t put these forwarded emails on my reports, but this
one is very funny and relatable, as I just received my one-millionth
email today, from a “friend” telling me that they care about me so much
they have sent me an angel, BUT if I don’t forward the same message to
ten people in the next ten minutes, I will be hit by a bus. Thank you
friend.
SO THANK YOU:
I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over
the past year.
I am totally screwed up and have little chance of recovery.
Thanks to you . . . .
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what
the last person was doing while flipping through the
adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because
I can only imagine what ha s happened on it since it was last washed.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for
the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending
me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes .
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
pumping gas.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe .
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped
in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas
companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00
PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-
law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
one is very funny and relatable, as I just received my one-millionth
email today, from a “friend” telling me that they care about me so much
they have sent me an angel, BUT if I don’t forward the same message to
ten people in the next ten minutes, I will be hit by a bus. Thank you
friend.
SO THANK YOU:
I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over
the past year.
I am totally screwed up and have little chance of recovery.
Thanks to you . . . .
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what
the last person was doing while flipping through the
adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because
I can only imagine what ha s happened on it since it was last washed.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for
the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending
me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes .
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
pumping gas.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe .
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped
in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas
companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00
PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-
law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
Marriage quotes
MARRIAGE QUOTES …
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage certificate: just another word for a work permit.
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Getting married is very much like buying a car...
You get what you want, and when you see what the other guy has,
you wish you had ordered that model instead.
When a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage, it's called self-defense.
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage certificate: just another word for a work permit.
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Getting married is very much like buying a car...
You get what you want, and when you see what the other guy has,
you wish you had ordered that model instead.
When a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage, it's called self-defense.
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
The Miracle fruit
This is the Miracle Fruit website of Curtis Mozie.
"At 'flavor tripping' parties, guests eat a berry known as miracle fruit that temporarily rewires taste buds, turning sour flavors sweet."
http://www.miraclefruitman.com/
So said The New York Times in May 2008 in their article A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue. The story also appeared in the Global Edition's Travel & Dining section: International Herald Tribune.
Because of the unique nature of the fruit, the story was picked up by a number of publications. Combined with the video posted on The New York Times website, and a number of blogs, a 'buzz' was created. That buzz has resulted in an overwhelming demand for Miracle Fruit. The video below on YouTube was watched more than 10,000 times in the week following the article.
As a completely natural product, grown on trees, availability is dependent on weather. Rest assured all orders will be filled in the order they are received, and paid for.
Due to the backlog in supply, it could be several weeks before we can ship your order. If you sent us an email, we're working on responding, so hang in there. The fruit is worth the wait.
Change Begins In Your Head
We think of the Miracle Fruit as a symbol of change. It will help you gain a new perspective, even if for only a few hours. Be patient. We're harvesting the fruit as quickly as it ripens on a daily basis. Unfortunately, it is not like an orange grove or vineyard. Each miracle fruit tree provides a few dozen berries at a time. So, if you want to be among the first to know when we are able to ship more Miracle Fruit, you'll want to join our Priority List! We will send an update as soon as we are able to take care of current customers.
My farm in Fort Lauderdale, Florida is the only farm in the United States able to produce a commercial volume of Miracle Fruit. We add new trees every week. Frankly, we just were not prepared for the incredible interest in Miracle Fruit.
For the past 12 years, I've personally planted and attended to thousands of trees, improving my growing technique in the process.
For those of you located in the New York City area, you will be able to purchase Miracle Fruit at the Garden of Eden Stores (www.edengourmet.com) in Manhattan and New Jersey as soon as the fruit is ready to ship. Join our Priority List, or keep checking out Garden of Eden.
I know you'll enjoy the Miracle Fruit experience.
Thank you for your patience...Curtis
Priority List
Would you like to know when the next crop of Miracle Fruit is ready for shipment? Enter your contact information...
Email:
First Name:
Last:
Mailing Address:
City:
State:
Country:
Postal Code:
Click Arrow to Play.
How Sweet it is!
For several years, I've been cultivating my 'field of dreams.'
The miracle fruit is an amazing wonder of nature, and I'm on a mission to inform people about it's 'magic.'
The Miracle Fruit is native to Ghana, a dynamic country in West Africa. It's a great container plant, if you like to grow your own fruit.
28 May 2008
I was in New York last week where the 'Supreme Commander' hosted a 'Flavor Tripping Party.' I was there because I'm his supplier. The New York Times was there because they thought it would be interesting for their Dining & Wine section.
They posted a video which shows several of the 40+ guests on their website and a detailed story. The response was amazing.
Adam Gollner's new book, The Fruit Hunters was released during the week, as well. Adam did a great job with the book which 'features' the Miracle Fruit. Click on the image to find out more about the book. You can buy a copy on Amazon.
It's called the 'Miracle Fruit' because it can alter the taste of sour items. Miracle Fruit is also easier to say, and spell, than it's official name - synsepalum dulcificum.
Although the plant produces fruit throughout the year, there are occasions when shipping might take more than a week, so only place an order with the understanding that the Miracle Fruit will be shipped upon availability.
The minimum order is 30 of the fresh fruit. Click the 'Buy Miracle Fruit' page for information.
We normally ship via the U.S. Postal Service, however other delivery options are available.
The Miracle Fruit is a bright red, oval-shaped berry approximately 2 to 3 cm long containing a single seed. Click this image for greater detail.
Although not sweet itself, when a single fruit is eaten and the fleshy pulp allowed to coat the taste buds of the tongue and inside of the mouth, an extraordinary effect occurs.
The fruit enables you to eat a slice of lemon or lime without wincing. The marvelous aroma and inherent sweetness of the citrus remains but the sourness is almost completely covered. The effect remains for approximately 30 minutes, or more.
Miracle Fruits Exchange Inc. is an American-owned and operated farm supplying retail customers. I am the owner and grower. I have been involved in the growth and development of the Miracle Fruit for more than a decade.
Buy with confidence and the security of PayPal.
Our primary objective is to tell the world about the wonders of this miraculous discovery. We strive to provide quality service and products.
"At 'flavor tripping' parties, guests eat a berry known as miracle fruit that temporarily rewires taste buds, turning sour flavors sweet."
http://www.miraclefruitman.com/
So said The New York Times in May 2008 in their article A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue. The story also appeared in the Global Edition's Travel & Dining section: International Herald Tribune.
Because of the unique nature of the fruit, the story was picked up by a number of publications. Combined with the video posted on The New York Times website, and a number of blogs, a 'buzz' was created. That buzz has resulted in an overwhelming demand for Miracle Fruit. The video below on YouTube was watched more than 10,000 times in the week following the article.
As a completely natural product, grown on trees, availability is dependent on weather. Rest assured all orders will be filled in the order they are received, and paid for.
Due to the backlog in supply, it could be several weeks before we can ship your order. If you sent us an email, we're working on responding, so hang in there. The fruit is worth the wait.
Change Begins In Your Head
We think of the Miracle Fruit as a symbol of change. It will help you gain a new perspective, even if for only a few hours. Be patient. We're harvesting the fruit as quickly as it ripens on a daily basis. Unfortunately, it is not like an orange grove or vineyard. Each miracle fruit tree provides a few dozen berries at a time. So, if you want to be among the first to know when we are able to ship more Miracle Fruit, you'll want to join our Priority List! We will send an update as soon as we are able to take care of current customers.
My farm in Fort Lauderdale, Florida is the only farm in the United States able to produce a commercial volume of Miracle Fruit. We add new trees every week. Frankly, we just were not prepared for the incredible interest in Miracle Fruit.
For the past 12 years, I've personally planted and attended to thousands of trees, improving my growing technique in the process.
For those of you located in the New York City area, you will be able to purchase Miracle Fruit at the Garden of Eden Stores (www.edengourmet.com) in Manhattan and New Jersey as soon as the fruit is ready to ship. Join our Priority List, or keep checking out Garden of Eden.
I know you'll enjoy the Miracle Fruit experience.
Thank you for your patience...Curtis
Priority List
Would you like to know when the next crop of Miracle Fruit is ready for shipment? Enter your contact information...
Email:
First Name:
Last:
Mailing Address:
City:
State:
Country:
Postal Code:
Click Arrow to Play.
How Sweet it is!
For several years, I've been cultivating my 'field of dreams.'
The miracle fruit is an amazing wonder of nature, and I'm on a mission to inform people about it's 'magic.'
The Miracle Fruit is native to Ghana, a dynamic country in West Africa. It's a great container plant, if you like to grow your own fruit.
28 May 2008
I was in New York last week where the 'Supreme Commander' hosted a 'Flavor Tripping Party.' I was there because I'm his supplier. The New York Times was there because they thought it would be interesting for their Dining & Wine section.
They posted a video which shows several of the 40+ guests on their website and a detailed story. The response was amazing.
Adam Gollner's new book, The Fruit Hunters was released during the week, as well. Adam did a great job with the book which 'features' the Miracle Fruit. Click on the image to find out more about the book. You can buy a copy on Amazon.
It's called the 'Miracle Fruit' because it can alter the taste of sour items. Miracle Fruit is also easier to say, and spell, than it's official name - synsepalum dulcificum.
Although the plant produces fruit throughout the year, there are occasions when shipping might take more than a week, so only place an order with the understanding that the Miracle Fruit will be shipped upon availability.
The minimum order is 30 of the fresh fruit. Click the 'Buy Miracle Fruit' page for information.
We normally ship via the U.S. Postal Service, however other delivery options are available.
The Miracle Fruit is a bright red, oval-shaped berry approximately 2 to 3 cm long containing a single seed. Click this image for greater detail.
Although not sweet itself, when a single fruit is eaten and the fleshy pulp allowed to coat the taste buds of the tongue and inside of the mouth, an extraordinary effect occurs.
The fruit enables you to eat a slice of lemon or lime without wincing. The marvelous aroma and inherent sweetness of the citrus remains but the sourness is almost completely covered. The effect remains for approximately 30 minutes, or more.
Miracle Fruits Exchange Inc. is an American-owned and operated farm supplying retail customers. I am the owner and grower. I have been involved in the growth and development of the Miracle Fruit for more than a decade.
Buy with confidence and the security of PayPal.
Our primary objective is to tell the world about the wonders of this miraculous discovery. We strive to provide quality service and products.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
bacon bandages for dad
Looking for gifts for the Dad that has everything?BACON BANDAGES As seen in Every Day with Rachel Ray! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a designer bandage. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Includes a small toy to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no timeThe 3" x 1" Bacon Strips are cut to look like small slabs of bacon. If you love these... don't miss our Gummy Bacon!15 bandages per tin.
Other styles:
http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1224
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
FUNNY CHURCH BULLETINS
The following announcements appeared in various church bulletins
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."
9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
17. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
18. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
19. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
20. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
21. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
22. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
24. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
26. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
27. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
28. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
29. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
30. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
31. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
32. Evening massage - 6 p.m.
33. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
34. Ushers will eat latecomers.
35. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
36. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
37. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
38. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
39. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
40. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
41. The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
42. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
43. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
44. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
45. Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
46. (During the minister's illness) GOD IS GOOD.
Dr. Hargreaves is better.
47. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
48. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
50. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
51. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
52. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
53. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
54. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
55. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
56. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
57. The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
58. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
59. Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
60. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
61. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
62. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
63. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
64. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."
9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
17. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
18. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
19. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
20. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
21. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
22. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
24. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
26. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
27. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
28. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
29. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
30. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
31. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
32. Evening massage - 6 p.m.
33. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
34. Ushers will eat latecomers.
35. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
36. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
37. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
38. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
39. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
40. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
41. The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
42. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
43. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
44. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
45. Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
46. (During the minister's illness) GOD IS GOOD.
Dr. Hargreaves is better.
47. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
48. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
50. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
51. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
52. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
53. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
54. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
55. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
56. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
57. The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
58. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
59. Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
60. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
61. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
62. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
63. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
64. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
Paranoia
Ok, I want to stop the rumor that's been circulating that I'm paranoid. I know you think I'm paranoid. But I'm not. You know who really thinks I'm paranoid? Well of course you know but I'll tell you since you are acting like you don't know. The people that the government has following me. They are the paranoid ones! Whenever I approach them and say, "I know you are following me", they always look at me like I'm crazy. I just giggle, "Nice try but I'm not paranoid, YOU'RE paranoid". Then they usually just go back to acting like they are breast-feeding their baby.
Laura also thinks I'm paranoid. How did the government get to her?
Occasionally she'll say, "No one is following you". I always think, "Is that what they told you to say?" Then she'll stare at me, probably cause they turned her into a robot or something.
Let's be honest here. Some things just don't add up. Why do you think your computer really is running so slow? Has anyone ever really bought a Soloflex? Why do Greek salads have un-pitted olives in it? Why do you think there is a golf channel? Huh? Huh? Everyone knows using Google makes your ears grow. Think about it, the government knew who was gonna win American Idol a long time ago. It's so obvious.
There is another reason why I'm not paranoid but I can't remember it probably 'cause part of my memory was erased during my last alien abduction. The aliens also falsely believed I was paranoid. But I'm not surprised because it's so obvious that the aliens work for the government. All I really remember about the aliens is that they were green, ate Bounce dryer sheets and were so paranoid.
I'm just glad I'm not paranoid like those aliens I'm friends with now.
Moon
Laura also thinks I'm paranoid. How did the government get to her?
Occasionally she'll say, "No one is following you". I always think, "Is that what they told you to say?" Then she'll stare at me, probably cause they turned her into a robot or something.
Let's be honest here. Some things just don't add up. Why do you think your computer really is running so slow? Has anyone ever really bought a Soloflex? Why do Greek salads have un-pitted olives in it? Why do you think there is a golf channel? Huh? Huh? Everyone knows using Google makes your ears grow. Think about it, the government knew who was gonna win American Idol a long time ago. It's so obvious.
There is another reason why I'm not paranoid but I can't remember it probably 'cause part of my memory was erased during my last alien abduction. The aliens also falsely believed I was paranoid. But I'm not surprised because it's so obvious that the aliens work for the government. All I really remember about the aliens is that they were green, ate Bounce dryer sheets and were so paranoid.
I'm just glad I'm not paranoid like those aliens I'm friends with now.
Moon
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Fist Bump
THE FIST BUMP
1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.
Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless
Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you.
Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re
watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then
you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper
is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not
going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.
1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.
Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless
Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you.
Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re
watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then
you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper
is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not
going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
7 misuses of texting
For those of you who use text messaging as a form of communication with someone you're dating, whether you have a BlackBerry or an Apple iPhone, text messaging is the most abused and misinterpreted form of communication out there.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.
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